Therapeutic vs. Recreational Use

[kstuebin]

Is there a difference between using a drug for a medical reason and using a drug to get high.  Do the lines between the two blur together in some cases?  Is is possible to just take a drug as prescribed or is tolerance always going to develop leading to more and more? Do you take the drug because it alleviates your discomfort and is that the same as taking it to get high, (discounting pain)... I mean more like releiving anxiety. So many folks here on pain meds who need them trying to get off.  Why?  Why am I trying to stop since I feel worse now than before?  I realize this is not just one question but a whole series and I may be the only person here interested in the this so feel free to ignore this question and talk about anything you want.  Although, I would appreciate feedback if you have any.

[skipper]

OK friend:
lets diagree. i never argued "addictive behavior." First and last
addiction is a metabolic disorder. How else would you explain the
detox recipe that Thomas has refined? also the trace mineral combo
of pillpopa. of course their is a psychological component to the
metabolic disease of addiction. For all the respect i have for
behaivoral science, it alon can not explain the British model of
addiction. when you speak of addictive behavior are you speaking
behavior of addicted people or are you using "pop" language which
allows a looser use of a term. i can tell you i'm addicted to
walking my dog, but i won't **** my pants if i miss a day (the
dog would **** on the carpet maybe). when i was using and truly
addicted i had to have the rough equivlent of 3 grains of morphine
sulfate 3 times a day or i was shitting in my pants sick. a be-
haviorist could observe me till hell wouldn't have either one of
us. said behaviorist could not help me with my problems as a whole,
until the metabolic disorder of addiction was addressed. so say
you detox me, then you might be able to dig up the sub-sruface
parts of my personality that are "disordered." or i could say
thanks but no thanks, join the church of scientology, get cleared
and dedicate my life to l ron hubbard. what about a person who
just loves junk? you've had a chance or two to interact with
such people, are they affected in any other way than metabolicly?

i think the two of us could argue well into tonight, and never
agree. a friend at work runs a research project called calatrichid research (hey i can't spell). It's basically primate
behavior research. part of it is addiction studys. this man is
close enough to the top of his field (if you can judge a person
by the amount of grant money they can scratch up). The only con-
clusion his research has come to is addiction is metabolic in
nature and is a disease of exposure. i don't believe there is
a personality type that is typical to all addicts in general.

hey keep an angel on your shoulder
kip

[J.B. to Brian and Vicky]

Very interesting stuff you put out here.  I've been an IV abuser of morphine and at times heroine way in the past.  I went through treatment and have been involved with NA or AA for at least 25 years.  I suppose this qualifies me as an addict.

As a pain patient of late, I find that things are a whole lot different than they were.  I still like the feeling of narcotics and that is about all I do crave.  When I abstain, I get none of the physical withdrawals.  It usually takes a full week before my mental cravings set in and they can get pretty intense at times.  It's a battle of mind over matter for me.  

I could have picked up my month's supply of vicodin today but have chosen not to.  But the day isn't over, yet.  I'm praying for strength and thinking I'm better off waiting until at least tomorrow.

Tell me,  am I losing my mind?  I just want be in control over the drugs rather than them over me.  It's my preoccupation right now.  J.B.  

[skipper]

JB:
just one quick question. is it drugs or is it pain that is your
master. Lately i've noticed when i skip my oxy for a couple of
days i don't get the typical withdrawal. I do have intense pain
of 7.5 or above. the pain doc i see claims that intense pain
can shortcircuit with drawal. the last pain doc i had claimed i
wasn't telling the "truth"

the way i see it for me right now, is physical pain is my master.
no matter how much dope i take it is always lurking, waiting for
the drugs to wear off. sort of like the chicken or the egg thing.

[Deja]

Thank you so much you guys, for responding so fast.  I am not a stranger to addiction so I am wrestling with many things here.  I feel like I've walked this road before as my first husband was a physically abusive alcoholic.  I'm no angel.  I've been abusing my drugs on and off for years.  My last time posting actively here I was detoxing myself off oxy (I too take those narc-breaks now and then for various reasons) and Wizard was helping me (as were all of you).  

The thing I am wrestling with the most is the LIES and deception.  How do I send the message that I can't live in a relationship built on lies?  Do I leave?  Do we separate until he can prove he's clean and willing to stay clean?  Do I have to live this nightmare for the rest of my life?  Sorry to be dramatic but I don't know if I can battle my own demons and at the same time be sympathetic to his, especially since he stole the drugs from me.  I've cut myself off emotionally from everyone and everything right now and as stupid as this sounds- I'm tempted to chew a handful of my oxy's and vegetate for the rest of the night.  I know that won't solve a thing- I know that.  

Love to All,
deja

[Frank Lee]

Is it addiction or preoccupation? is it that we don't have anything else going on in our lives, or that we can't deal with what's going on in our life? is it that your were born with a morhpine deficiency and me with a valium void?

"My best friend my doctor won't even tell me what it is I got."

We make choices, that's about it as far as I can tell. Choices may lead to having a cup of mocha or shitting you pants w/o your junk, but it starts and ends with choices.

Turn your back to the sun and walk in to the cool darkness. Whatever, time's a wasting.

Begging everyone's indulgence for my tangential take here,

Frankster

[Witchywoman]

Hi Kip,
Yep, we can agree to disagree my friend.  :-)
At least somewhat.
I do agree that addiction is a metabolic disorder, and that it is a physiological experience.  I think I just accept a broader definition of when the behaviors of compulsion cross over the line to addiction.

What I do know, is that whateverthehellitis, Love helps me manage it, and your love Kip, and that of everyone here, has given me my life back, at least for today...and for that I am eternally gratefull.

By the way...thanks for the angel on my shoulder. He hangs out there a lot since you've described him to me, and I've named him Harry.  :-)

lots of love,
WW