Today I went into speak to my addiction counselor & instead of being methadone free in 10 days, I will drag it out another additonal ten days, & looking at the big picture, I do believe she may be right! I was gonna jump off at 4mgs but to make my life easier Im gonna take it right down to the last mg, she claims the success rate is higher & the withdrawals wont be so bad nor long lasting, Im trying real hard to remain positive & I have no regrets, but let me tell you what, when you get down to 4mgs the body starts with very mild withdrawals, for me they ususally peak in the AM, 24-27 hours after my dose, sneezing, lack of energy ect, but after my small dose I do feel better, yet not great! But not horrible either, & really I need to do whats best for me, I mean it makes sense, after all, thers no big rush, I,ve been tapering for 11 months, so whats a extra 10days gonna hurt? I guess its the addict in me? When I want something, I want it now! When I want to feel good, I want to right now! What do I do? What can I take? All these questions pour thru my mind, but Im learning how to put them to rest, as Im understanding, I must have patience & no I cant have everything now! & No theirs nothing to take to make me feel better, feeling better comes from many things, excersise, friendships, children, animals, family, eating right, sleeping right, but not from ingesting drugs, & this is a much more bitter pill to swallow then methadone or oxys, as its reality, & part of the recovery process is learning how to live life without taking something to make you feel better, & Im learning how to better understand this, more & more everyday. Thanks For Listening, Penelope