Vicodin... can't live with it, can't live without it??

[remedyz]

Hi gang. First I want to say that I've been lurking here for about a week and your posts have been invaluable to me in helping me understand what is/was going on with me as I withdrew from Vicodin and Valium.

I'm 25/male, and I have ulcerative colitis (inflammation of the colon). This past January, I came down with it although this time it was preceded by inflammation of the iris in my left eye. It was extremely debilitatingly painful, and i was prescribed vicodin for the pain. During the course of the colitis which lasted about a month or so this time, I kept taking the vicodin and was also given a script for valium/5 to help me sleep while i was on the prednisone (steroid). Once things got better I kept taking the vicodin because I felt it helped me feel confident to re-enter the world without a fear of having to run to the bathroom all the time, it lifted my (situational) depression, gave me loads of energy and basically made me feel like a better than normal human being.

I was using 2-4 vicodin/5 per day, and 10mg valium at night for approx 2 1/2 months - a total of maybe 190 vics + 120 darvocet and maybe 120 valium/5,. Tomorrow at 7am will be 2 weeks since i cold turkeyed. When I stopped i immediately was thrown into a deep depression, anxiety, fear, shaking, cant sleep cant eat, no energy, but no stomach probs or anything too serious. Thought i was losing my mind until the doctor told me i was having withdrawals. They never advised me of anything, they just cut me off and im thinking of suing. Yesterday was the 1st day i started feeling almost normal again.

[Perri]

Hi Everyone. I've been reading this board for awhile, but this is my first post. I was taking 10-12 percocet or 5 mg oxycodones per day. I was getting them from my boyfriend. I was having back pain, and my doc perscribed vioxx and muscle relaxers. it worked, but it made me sleepy.I am a single mom with 3 kids and I work 2 jobs, so I didn't want to take something that would knock me out. My boyfriend is paralized from the waist down. He needs me to take care of him also. One day he gave me a percocet for my back pain, and I found out the darn pill gave me energy as well as reliving the pain. It's taken me a year to work up to about 12 pills a day. I was stealing them from him and he knew it. I have weaned myself down to 4 a day in the past 3 days, so I am feeling the WD symptoms. I really want to stop!! I want my life back!! This board has been very helpful in helping me to stop. Thanks for listening.

[lisabet]

You know, percs, that actually makes a lot of sense to me, about quitting the meds in the early am and evening, when we seem to need them the worse.  I'm actually doing it b-ass-ackwards...smile...taking my a.m. dose and evening dose without fail...maybe I'll "shake" it up a little bit; right now I'm taking 5-6-7 10/325's a day; one at 6-am (when my eyes pop open and my legs won't stay still)...for some reason I think of Dracula and those old movies when his eyes would pop open and he'd rise from his coffin, cause I always think "the hunger" when I get up this early to take a vicodin to "stave" off the W.D.'S.  Go back to sleep - back up again before 10 to take 2 more ...this soothes me until about 2:00 pm or when I happen to feel discomforted and take 2 more.  Then after dinner, about 6 or 7-pm, I'm feeling "antsy" again and take another one - then another about 9:00 before bedtime.  In the past I was chasing them with Jack Daniel, but thank God, I've pretty much gotten away from that habit.  I've tapered down from about 12 a day to this; but it seems like I'm stuck here and can't seem to do any better.  I KNOW I need to quit completely; this habit is depleting my energy; not to mention my bank account.   I appreciate the fact,that while you're still recovering, you're still here to help.  Your experiences and recovery and optimism means so much to me, and I'm sure, many people here. Don't want to get "mushy" but want you to know how much I appreciate ya!!!! Enjoy your little ones this weekend; they grow up before ya know it!  Love ya, percs....Lisabet

[mystere]

Ah yes! The mental olympics we go through! That my friend is your addiction talking and just like Percs said IT WILL GO AWAY!
I could not imagine life at all without my bottle of happy pills--HYDROCODONE 10/325--I was taking 12-14 of those little suckers per day and like all addicts I had my Pill Routine--My husband had no sympathy for drug addicts either until my addicition came crashing down on both of us a week ago!--To cut a long story short I got caught in a whopper of a lie about my pill taking and he was devestated!  I came very close to losing the man I love and adore due to those f$#@king pills! Sooo a decision had to be made--what was it going to be?  My wonderful life back or having those demons control every aspect of my day! (How many do I have/How to get more/What if the different pharmacies I used would find out what I was doing?  I'm sure you know the nightmare because you're in the middle of it!--I'm now on day six and coming out the other side and please believe me it does get better!  You can find wonderful support on this forum because just about everyone here has walked the mile you're walking now! 2 days is quite an accomplishment!  Please keep it up and the Thomas Recipe works!  And for God's sake please DO NOT CALL IN A SCRIPT--Just keep reading and posting that's what I did and the wonderful people here actually helped me from losing what i thought was my mind!
Oh by the way--My Husband is now the biggest supporter of my recovery and things are looking up on all fronts--I'm not saying its easy but PLEASE PLEASE believe it is so worth it!  You're in my prayers--Peace--Mystere/AKA N.O. Lady (office computer)

[Bunches]

Thank you so much again for the supportive word.  I know I need to keep it simple and take one day at a time, not getting too caught up in my head.  Now I'm battling eating like crazy!!  I'll probably gain 10 lbs. this weekend!! Ugh.

[mystere]

I also forgot to tell you--Your addiction will say--"God I feel so bad right now I'll just get one more bottle and then I'll taper and get off of them for good"--ALWAYS TOMORROW--For me it was always tomorrow until the choice had to be made! I could never taper those little demons called my name 24/7.  I also worked during the brunt of the withdrawal and you wonder how you got through it--But the fact is that you DO!--You have a chance to STOP this speeding train to destruction and believe me its headed straight for your door if you continue. This forum saved my sanity and everyone here is willing to help!  God knows we've all been there!--Peace & Prayers--Mystere/ AKA New Orleans Lady

[lisabet]

Hey Percs - once again...an excellent post. Your usage mimics my heaviest usage almost to the minute!!!  I, like demonfeeder, have the most problems in the evening. Nothing is as much fun without the vicodins, a.i. relaxing in the evenings with TV, shopping, having dinner with friends.  This is the thing I'm trying to adjust to right now, actually trying to enjoy life without the pills.  It's the hardest thing, I tell ya.  Hope you enjoy your weekend; it's supposed to rain and be chilly here in West Virginia, "perfect" weather for this mangy dog to stay in the doghouse and snooze...smile.  From one M.D. to another, Love, Lisabet  :)