Vicodin... can't live with it, can't live without it??

[remedyz]

Hi gang. First I want to say that I've been lurking here for about a week and your posts have been invaluable to me in helping me understand what is/was going on with me as I withdrew from Vicodin and Valium.

I'm 25/male, and I have ulcerative colitis (inflammation of the colon). This past January, I came down with it although this time it was preceded by inflammation of the iris in my left eye. It was extremely debilitatingly painful, and i was prescribed vicodin for the pain. During the course of the colitis which lasted about a month or so this time, I kept taking the vicodin and was also given a script for valium/5 to help me sleep while i was on the prednisone (steroid). Once things got better I kept taking the vicodin because I felt it helped me feel confident to re-enter the world without a fear of having to run to the bathroom all the time, it lifted my (situational) depression, gave me loads of energy and basically made me feel like a better than normal human being.

I was using 2-4 vicodin/5 per day, and 10mg valium at night for approx 2 1/2 months - a total of maybe 190 vics + 120 darvocet and maybe 120 valium/5,. Tomorrow at 7am will be 2 weeks since i cold turkeyed. When I stopped i immediately was thrown into a deep depression, anxiety, fear, shaking, cant sleep cant eat, no energy, but no stomach probs or anything too serious. Thought i was losing my mind until the doctor told me i was having withdrawals. They never advised me of anything, they just cut me off and im thinking of suing. Yesterday was the 1st day i started feeling almost normal again.

[oxic]

You know Lis, one thing i did do prior to my taper, was eliminate taking them when i needed/liked them the most(like first thing in the morning and immediately after work).
I just wanted to break the cycle before i actually got off them all together.......if that makes any sense.  I did that for almost 3 weeks before my August taper.

You have a great weekend also.....our weather is forecast to be the same as yours; so lookout house, here comes daddy and the two kid wreckin crew.

[oxic]

You've got an awful lot to think about Bunches, but try not to overwhelm yourself.  You will see things dramatically differently in a few days, and will regain the control,that you probably didn't think was possible.  Again very difficult, but try not to think yourself into a corner.
We're going to be here before, during and after your detox,so please hang in there!!



rodewc: I have to tell you with that type of pill schedule, year after year, I DON'T EVER WANT TO COUNT OUT HOW MANY ******* PILLS ARE LEFT IN A BOTTLE!!!!   I
I DO NOT MISS THAT...........and makes me feel free almost by itself.  I hope you find the freedom that you deserve also.

percs

[rodewc]

So true. My habit zactly. Took 3-6 ES Vikes at 4 AM. Took one at 8 AM. Two at 10 AM. One pill at One PM. Three at 4 PM, and then maybe 3 more at dinner.. and SO true about resenting the food that diluted the high. Hell, sometimes I would throw in a cupla aspirin to thin the blood so the dope would kick in better/faster. Crazy as hell. God, lemme be successful this time. No excuses for an excuse. rwc~

[peaz]

Hey girl--It DOES seem obvious that manic-depression is real when you have been in direct contact w/ it......,,There is just no question, when you observe the mania OR the depression, that the person is afflicted w/ one HELLUVA disorder.  And, like you say, there are no payoffs for "fakin' it"--there are no "fun" treatment therapies!!!  ****!!

  I'm familiar w/ Kay Jamison's work.  I read Night Falls Fast and it's POWERFUL!!!    Another good book to read along those lines is The Noonday Demon, by Andrew Solomon.  God! It is the definitive book on depression!!  You simply MUST read the chapters on Breakdowns and Suicides!! LOL  Seriously, there is an entire chapter on addiction that is eye-opening.
    Thanks for your views..... Where ya been???  DA.COM? See ya--peazy

[dancinginthedark]

I'm 100% square behind what Peaz has said.  Obviously, she & I have both had close liaisons with people who are bi-polar & in my case, one who was a substance abuser until the lithium kicked in, wherein she gradually & slowly weaned herself off all the drugs.  Go figure that one out.

Peaz said to compare depression to bi-polar is like comparing apples to oranges.  A-bloody men.  There truly is NO comparison.  Bi-polar is undeniably chemical in nature & believe it or not, lithium is a salt, not some "feel good", turn up the volume drug.  

I do agree that there are too many diseases du jour.  And yes, it gets ridiculous.  If being married to an alcoholic qualifies one as having PTSD, I can hardly imagine what I've got!  But at the same time, there are some horrible diseases, like bipolar, which has a 20% morbidity rate if untreated.  That's higher than cancer & heart disease.  Besides, if lithium doesn't work, NO ONE wants to take it because it causes nasty side effects & does NOT give a buzz.  

Where are people saying they are abusing substances because they're bipolar?  Have they been diagnosed as such?  Or, is this some new "trend"?  Hate to tell you but stats wise,60% of diagnosed bipolar patients (1990 Rieger) abuse alcohol or drugs.

My aunt gave me this fascinating book, "Touched with Fire", by Dr. Kay Redfield Jamison & it has many ideas on this subject & stats as cited above.

Very intriguing, indeed!

Best,
Dancin'

[Bunches]

I'm new to this site (and any addiction forums) and am very scared and feel on the edge of losing everything.  I am going into detox monday for the first time and of course, everything about it is making me anxious: the detoxing itself, the facility, what to expect (the unknown), what I'll do when I get out...on and on.  I am trying to taper off and "maintain" through this weekend but even now, as I take one (sorry, Vicodin) to keep the WD away, I get that bit of "rush" and want more.  Is this all about self-discipline and control?? If so, I really fear for myself...I am so my worst enemy.  I feel a bit better, at least as some bit of comfort, having found this site and others going through the same, if not worse.  I appreciate any and all comments to my post.

thank you...