Waking Up

[gizzy32]

After quitting drugs we are covered in this deep fog and confusion wondering how can we get and stay clean and how can we ever be happy again without using drugs. The pain of w/d's then all the mental stuff brings many back to relapse after a short time because they don't believe or have faith in the recovery process. After my countless relapses, i can see I never made it far enough to heal. I used to think a week clean I should be back to normal, lol. Besides our bodies healing, the biggest impact is how our brains heal and begin to rewire themselves, how our thinking patterns change and we start to believe in ourselves and self doubt fades. There will come a time shortly after you stop using and begin to heal, that it hits you like a tonne of bricks. That reality took me a month of being off drugs to happen and when it did it was overwhelming. I can't even explain it, but I am sure ya'll know what I am talking about? For those of you that have experienced this it felt almost like a rebirth, like something came over us and we woke up. This is when my recovery began. It took me a full month to even believe in myself, but now I have all the confidence in the world, I will never go back. My thinking patterns are completely different now, I no longer look to get high when I am stressed or sad and to me that is a minor miracle.  Did you have a defining moment after quitting when you experienced those overwhelming feelings that made you ball your eyes out? Did all those feelings hit you at once like they did me? How long did it take for that fog to lift after quitting? BE HONEST, at this point are you confident in your recovery and staying clean?

[newgirl286]

It's been 50 days today and I do feel a huge change since I quite.  A new understanding and acceptance of what I have done to my brain while using.  Like Ronnie, everyday is a struggle.  Everyday I think about those pills and try to remember how it felt.  I'll have pain and imagine that I can go home and pop a pill and wait till I feel less pain.  My thought process has changed and I feel I am a better person, better daughter and friend to everyone since I am here and clear headed.  But it is a battle.  Constant fatigue is the worse and I'm trying to battle it all with supplements that help but I am finding it's stress which sneaks up on me and takes me down.  That and big milestones, today is day 50 and I woke up with a headache and just exhausted.  I think I need to take today and stay in bed to recover.  I want to push myself but I am afraid of over doing.  I realize I am still healing and that is difficult cause you'd think after 50 days it'd be so much easier.  I realize I have PAWS and I am trying to allow myself to get what I need when I need it and when I need to take time to get my head together, I take it.  Cause I'm not taking that pill so whatever I do is usually better.  I am not perfect.  Looking forward to another 40 days and hoping by then I will have that overwhelming feeling of relief...  Thanks to everyone for posting.

[VicAddict26]

It has been a week today for me,,, YES,,, I do feel like i'm experiencing the world like a child again, there are so many things that i didn't take enjoyment in that now i do,, if you say it gets better than this,, i can't wait.... thank you for the inspiration..

Lisa

[kalie1979]

I felt it not yesterday, but the day before I woke up and all these feelings overwelmed me. I am only five days clean from hydros, its seems though i finally woke up.. Every issue that made me use, i had to face them and i was ready. i was crying non stop. I called both of my sisters and told them everything that i had done on the past and why i ignored them so much. and i explained to them if i get weak again, to slap me or talk me out of it. when my husband got home i said some things to him i was scared to say for years. and i told him if he did not live a clean life we are done.!!! i realized all the money i blew every damn pay day. All i can say is Yes i do believe it was a rebirth :-)
the way i think is totally different.

kalie

[10356]

Congrts on 2mo. Ronnie...  That is an accomplishment.. delphia is correct we are all different.. I think the difference for me was I do not miss the high.. I was so desperately unhappy in active addiction.. I was so low any lower they would have buried me.. I had to work for my recovery.. everyday I forced myself out with the dogs.. I had to force myself to do everything.. but once I got involved in my life.. it gets easier.. hang in there and find something besides drugs that brings passion... I also wish you the best :))

[illadelphia984]

Congrats on your almost 2 months of sobriety, Ronnie! I'm sure you'll feel that way soon, since everyone's different. I wish you all the best. :)

[Ronnie152]

It's 2 months for me tomorrow and i feel good but i still haven't felt that way. it is so hard everyday i really miss the high and i think about it everyday. i have been good and i will still be good i just dont know i want to feel like that so bad!