Is it just me? Or are there alot of positive outcomes lately?

[StuckANDscared111]

I've been on and off this forum for about 3 years.  I would start a taper or cold turkey and then fail, then I would stop coming here to read or post.  I've been working on tapering since September...and even though I fell a few times...I'm on here almost every day.  Some days I just read, some days I post a bunch of random things...and I have a list in my "journey" notebook of people on here that I tend to follow.  I've read their stories from day 1 and I have to say...90^% of those people are clean now.

Am I "seeing" the positive stories because I'm feeling positive about being sucessful this time?  Are people truly beating this addiction?  Either way, wether you're thinking about quitting, think you have a problem, are ready to detox, or are clean and need support...this is an awesome place.

I've herd many people say this is great aftercare/and many people say you can't use this as a true aftercare.  People like me find alot of strength in this forum, but need someone to be accountable to.  If I'm left alone with my own secrets, I will probably use.  I have yet to find a solution/answer for a form of proper aftercare...it will probably be my sister...I can trust her.  I know she will be supportive, but ON MY *** to stay clean.  

I have yet to tell her that I am addicted again...maybe that's my next step that will truly make it possible this time.  

I CANNOT tell my fiance.  He's caught me 2 times already, he will probably leave me.  He's given me too many chances already, he's so militant, hardowrking, and never fails me...NEVER.  I don't deserve him.  I want to feel lilke I do.  I need to focus on this and use it as my reason and strength to get clean and STAY clean.

So...my suggestion...stay tuned in to this forum...it WILL help.

[all_alone1]

I have noticed a lot more posts lately as well....it seems a lot more people are opening up about their feelings...and it is great to see that.

[bmdad]

I think this is a great form of aftercare. Yes, people are truly beating this addiction and you can too. We all have it in us. Either we we dig deep and find it or let our addiction kill us. That choice is ours to make.

You can beat it. It's never easy but it is completely possible. It takes hard work and determination. It all comes down to how bad you want it. There's not a person out there that can't live a sober life. Everyone needs some form of aftercare. For some, NA works and for others, a therapist. There are many different forms of aftercare and the more you put into it the more of a chance you have at beating this. It's kind of like taking a test. If you have a test, you study and studying just ups the odds that you will pass. If you don't study then there's a pretty good chance you will fail. It all comes down to how much you're willing to put in. If you're second guessing yourself, chances are you may need to do more. It's always better to over do it than under do it.

No matter where you're at in your recovery don't ever leave the forum and especially if it's your only form of aftercare. Since you've been here off and on for a few years I know you have seen the power of this forum. Many people show up for the first time wondering if they have a problem only to start the journey to sobriety a few days later. The members here have a way to motivate each other to finally take that jump. I know I definitely wouldn't be where I'm at today without it.

Congrats on not giving up. Nobody should ever just throw in the towel. Eventually it will "click" and we will all get there.

Hang in there. I'm here for you if you need anything and I mean that.

Best of luck!




Brian

[lulu747]

Hi Stucki...
I'm happy that you posted this....I just wanted to say that in terms of getting clean and staying clean...It's the secrets that keep us sick.  Coming clean is part of setting yourself up for success.  I understand your fear-but honestly.....What you said about 'not deserving' your fiance?  There is no shame in your addiction...You are fighting hard every day to take your life back.  If he doesn't understand and support you in this...Well...
This is why aftercare is important.  You need a safe place where others know where you are at and support you 100%...And yes, this forum is wonderful...But it doesn't replace human to human connection.  The more tools you have to aid in your recovery, the more you set yourself up for success.  It is a wonderful sign that you are seeing the positive....We are all reflections for one another, after all....Your life is worth it....You are worth it.
Lu

[selfinduced]

I think your observation is correct. With the laws on Dr. shopping getting tougher and the cold hard truth about longterm use of these pills substances getting out. People are more educated. I know the despair and loneliness of fighting this disease alone. What worked for me was reading this forum and zeroing in on a few that had much clean time to help me one on one. You need someone. Your sister sounds like a perfect start. Once you have outted yourself, it is much harder to manipulate and fail. Great post!