On my way down

[Simplygreen]

Been 2 days clean from a year and a half long binge. It all started with pills and then led to anything and everything. I have been threw this so many times I don't wish to say. It's hard this time but really nothing I wasn't expecting. I can't seem to find a place for my brain if that makes any sense, and my legs are always the worst. Is the constant movement that gets me everytime. Movement that keeps you awake for say 36 hrs straight. I couldn't sleep if I wanted to and I am so tired. I will be fine in a few days I know but I can't keep from thinking of all the terrible stuff I did when I was using. I know they say it was the drug and not really you but that is just a fairytale I tell myself. You see it doesn't matter if it was the drugs or not because I was still the one doing it. That's all theat anyone that doesn't know it will think. At least I know that maybe tomorrow I will start smiling again and a little more of the pain will be gone.

[Nighthawk61]

You and your loved ones will forgive you your trespasses if you get and stay clean my friend. I understand what you're saying, how the guilt of what we once were looms in the doorway to our freedom. I still feel terrible about the things i've done, and cope by trying to make up everyday for those in my family, mostly my son, that i hurt from my using days.

Stay on course my friend, it's never too late to fight the good fight!!!

Do you have kids or a spouse that was affected by your drug abuse?

[VICourageous]

Hello & Welcome to our Community.

Congrats on taking your life back.
Yes, the pills do change both Body and the Chemical makeup of the Brain.
Addiction can run real deep with other issues along the way. These are the things that must come out and be worked on in order to stay clean. Addiction and the pleasure pathway goes beyond willpower alone.

Sleep, anxiety, restless legs, sweats and so forth are all part of detoxing these meds out. The nervous system is highly affected when we remove these stems, as the Brain has to adjust back too. Try eating some Bananas at night. Bananas have a natural way of working on the sleep chem in our Brain. Take some Magnesium, Potassium, Calcium and D3 at night. These things will help calm the muscles down and can help with a bit of sleep. Although, you will still have to give this Time. Look at some over the counter sleep meds like Melatonin or Teas. You can go to the Store and look at all the products by Airborne or Emergen-C. Make sure you eat very Healthy, as this will give you good vit/min right off. Building a good immune system back up will help alot. Protein drinks or Amino-acids are good for the Brain cells too. Pick up that Epsom salt for Baths. They sell it with lavender in it. This is good, because it too will help you relax and draw more toxins out.

The Sun, Exercise and Music is the best way to stimulate those Happy Chem that are knocked down during our drug/booze use.
Like I said, even with all of this you still will have some issues..it does take some time to balance back. YOU could also go and talk to a DR who can give you some comfort meds for awhile.

The detox is the easy part..yes it is uncomfortable for sure..but working on staying clean is what takes the cake. Do you plan on getting any aftercare? Meeting like AA/NA, Church, talking to a Counselor, etc., this is all part of staying clean. LOTS of Behavioral changes will have to be made. You will learn what Triggers you and will find out how to avoid these triggers too. There is so much work to be done on staying clean. Life is not always going to be fun, so being able to talk with other Addicts, in hard times is a plus. I do wish you the best and do stick around for Support and Supporting others along the way.
Just my 2 cents worth here. I had used off & on for over 40yrs and now have over 3yrs in. It does take Support for sure!!!
Be Safe, Be Good!
Bless
Vickie