Aa
Well I suck at tapering. Ulgh
Update on me, I am not doing to well I relapsed again. It seems when I have a high amount of Tramadol I will use and abuse it. So now I am in the situation to where I need to get clean because I have no other choice. Detox starts tomorrow. Its time to kick this crap for good! Pray for me!
Hi KellKell
Keep trying with tapering of the Tramadol it is do able! I am on day 10 know, still feel wobbly but it can only get better. I will pray for you :-)
Keep trying with tapering of the Tramadol it is do able! I am on day 10 know, still feel wobbly but it can only get better. I will pray for you :-)
If you still have a way to get the meds in the future then you're setting yourself up to fail. Detoxing because your supply ran out isn't always the best reason to get clean, although it has worked for some. You have to want it. You've got to cut all sources, now and in the future. I called my doc, dentist and pharmacy and told them I wanted to be red flagged as a opioid (sp?) abuser. I told friends and family. My roadblocks.
Very powerful story Catuf. Very scary as well. Everyone should read this and be very afraid.
the best i ever did on a taper was when i had my supply for almost a month all set out in envelopes, with like moderate descrease designed to take me down to ZERO in like 25 days.
i remember being so happy and thinking i was doing so well when i got down to a level that was less than the commonly prescribed dose of "1 every 4 to 6 hours."
the key for me was having a trusted someone hold the supply for me, with the absolute, positive commitment to not let me have ANY extra for any reason, no matter what.
i did just great until near the end when i had to go out of town for the 3 days and had to take three envelopes with me . . . i had been doing so well, was so pleased with not being ruled by the pills, so close to being almost out of my nightmare, i was POSITIVE (and my brother shared my belief) that i would be fine . . . i was back in control and had seen the error of my excessive ways.
wrong.
i wasn't 50 miles up the road before i REALIZED that what i needed to do was take my 3 day supply that afternoon, so i could have one last buzz and at least say goodbye to my old friend . . . i mean, my daily dose was so low that it was pretty much nothing, anyway. but lumped together it would be enough for nice high, but not so much that i'd go haywire again.
the plan worked perfectly, right up until the point that my "last" buzz started to wear off and i went on a mad hunt through my friend's bathroom, bedroom and kitchen until i found a bottle of just what i needed. the bottle was almost full and was from an injury months before, so he obviously didn't need them (and probably wouldn't figure out that i had stolen them).
at the time i told myself that it was just for the weekend, that it was ok because i deserved to have fun for one last weekend and i'd still quit by the same date as with my planned taper, so it was really a no-harm, no-foul situation anyway (right?).
of course it didn't work that way. i didn't quit with that weekend, i was off to the races and was very quickly worse than ever. i wouldn't have believed if if someone had told me, but by 3 years later my daily dose would increase over 300%, i would go through too many cold-turkeys and relapses to count, i would lose the mental capability to perform as required by my profession, i would dig myself into a financial hole that seemed too deep to ever get out of, and i would become mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually bankrupt.
at that point i traded in my pills (well, most of em) for crack. being already in late-stage addiction, i truly took off like a bat out of hell. crack almost killed me quickly, but it actually saved my life. i was on a slower, but no less certain road to death with my tabs . . . but i could keep things together just enough to keep everyone at a distance and maintain the lie that i was FINE (as in "leave me alone and mind your own business, i'm FINE"). people used to joke that i needed to go to rehab . . . for nicotine, caffeine and being a work-aholic . . . i had 'em fooled.
but there was no more fooling anyone once i got stuck on the end of a crack stem. after 3 months my brother was so worried about me that he narc'd me out. but he just wanted to save my life, not "get me in trouble," so he just told that i was hooked on lortab and made no mention of the crack.
off to 28 days at in-patient rehab. i lied about my drug use there, denying the crack (and other things) and stuck firmly to the socially acceptable story that i had only gone out of control on PRESCRIBED MEDICINE. I did really well and got amazingly better in just a month, literally gaining a pound a day so that i looked human again.
i came home ready to put "all that" behind me and to move on with things . . . but i somehow decided that since i had been rushed off to rehab so fast, that i needed and deserved one last-time to say goodbye. and i really, really meant that . . . i just wanted one more time. i did not want to, and i was absolutely no going to, allow it to get out of control again.
i just did not understand at that point that it's out of control as soon as i use. for me, it's like flipping a switch. so, i did get my "one more time," but instead of being that afternoon like i planned, it lasted 5 months. this time my run drew the attention of the county sheriff, the metro drug unit, the dea, the tsa, and a few judges . . . i was lucky to make it into rehab again.
but i did - for 4 full months - and this time i was ready to listen and willing to do anything and everything that was suggested. i quit fighting everyone and everything, and i got better.
these days i'm not often tempted to use, and when i am it's not a strong thing . . but if i did, i know (without a doubt) that i'd be off to the races and within days i'd be back where i was and way beyond.
anyway . . . drug addicts suck on tapering. that fact that you have trouble with it is just a good indication that you have the disease. give yourself a break . . . you're not a bad person that needs to become good, you're a sick person that needs to become well.
get some help. recovery is a good place to be.
CATUF
2574
i remember being so happy and thinking i was doing so well when i got down to a level that was less than the commonly prescribed dose of "1 every 4 to 6 hours."
the key for me was having a trusted someone hold the supply for me, with the absolute, positive commitment to not let me have ANY extra for any reason, no matter what.
i did just great until near the end when i had to go out of town for the 3 days and had to take three envelopes with me . . . i had been doing so well, was so pleased with not being ruled by the pills, so close to being almost out of my nightmare, i was POSITIVE (and my brother shared my belief) that i would be fine . . . i was back in control and had seen the error of my excessive ways.
wrong.
i wasn't 50 miles up the road before i REALIZED that what i needed to do was take my 3 day supply that afternoon, so i could have one last buzz and at least say goodbye to my old friend . . . i mean, my daily dose was so low that it was pretty much nothing, anyway. but lumped together it would be enough for nice high, but not so much that i'd go haywire again.
the plan worked perfectly, right up until the point that my "last" buzz started to wear off and i went on a mad hunt through my friend's bathroom, bedroom and kitchen until i found a bottle of just what i needed. the bottle was almost full and was from an injury months before, so he obviously didn't need them (and probably wouldn't figure out that i had stolen them).
at the time i told myself that it was just for the weekend, that it was ok because i deserved to have fun for one last weekend and i'd still quit by the same date as with my planned taper, so it was really a no-harm, no-foul situation anyway (right?).
of course it didn't work that way. i didn't quit with that weekend, i was off to the races and was very quickly worse than ever. i wouldn't have believed if if someone had told me, but by 3 years later my daily dose would increase over 300%, i would go through too many cold-turkeys and relapses to count, i would lose the mental capability to perform as required by my profession, i would dig myself into a financial hole that seemed too deep to ever get out of, and i would become mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually bankrupt.
at that point i traded in my pills (well, most of em) for crack. being already in late-stage addiction, i truly took off like a bat out of hell. crack almost killed me quickly, but it actually saved my life. i was on a slower, but no less certain road to death with my tabs . . . but i could keep things together just enough to keep everyone at a distance and maintain the lie that i was FINE (as in "leave me alone and mind your own business, i'm FINE"). people used to joke that i needed to go to rehab . . . for nicotine, caffeine and being a work-aholic . . . i had 'em fooled.
but there was no more fooling anyone once i got stuck on the end of a crack stem. after 3 months my brother was so worried about me that he narc'd me out. but he just wanted to save my life, not "get me in trouble," so he just told that i was hooked on lortab and made no mention of the crack.
off to 28 days at in-patient rehab. i lied about my drug use there, denying the crack (and other things) and stuck firmly to the socially acceptable story that i had only gone out of control on PRESCRIBED MEDICINE. I did really well and got amazingly better in just a month, literally gaining a pound a day so that i looked human again.
i came home ready to put "all that" behind me and to move on with things . . . but i somehow decided that since i had been rushed off to rehab so fast, that i needed and deserved one last-time to say goodbye. and i really, really meant that . . . i just wanted one more time. i did not want to, and i was absolutely no going to, allow it to get out of control again.
i just did not understand at that point that it's out of control as soon as i use. for me, it's like flipping a switch. so, i did get my "one more time," but instead of being that afternoon like i planned, it lasted 5 months. this time my run drew the attention of the county sheriff, the metro drug unit, the dea, the tsa, and a few judges . . . i was lucky to make it into rehab again.
but i did - for 4 full months - and this time i was ready to listen and willing to do anything and everything that was suggested. i quit fighting everyone and everything, and i got better.
these days i'm not often tempted to use, and when i am it's not a strong thing . . but if i did, i know (without a doubt) that i'd be off to the races and within days i'd be back where i was and way beyond.
anyway . . . drug addicts suck on tapering. that fact that you have trouble with it is just a good indication that you have the disease. give yourself a break . . . you're not a bad person that needs to become good, you're a sick person that needs to become well.
get some help. recovery is a good place to be.
CATUF
2574
I'm currently doing a taper by myself. It is hard. I'm just trying to get down to a lower dose until the middle of July when I have a few days off. Hoping to make things less severe when the time comes. Sending hugs your way!!
Did you have someone helping you with that taper? Because honestly, most of us can not do a taper on our own. We became an addict because we don't know how to stop and need help. I believe that unless you're in a rehab facility or you have someone you fully trust who can dole out the meds to you while tapering, it's near impossible to do this on your own.
i was never able to taper either. i don't know how much tapering off these types of pills actually eases the withdrawal symptoms anyways. Pat gave some good advice-it is just like the flu. Just remind yourself that if you take anymore you are just prolonging the flu. Sometimes the only way out is through. Good luck & stock up on what you will need to help you be more comfortable before the w/ds really set in. I drank alot of gaterade and water and it helped.
Most of us suck at tapering. We are bingers. If we have the we take them.
I tried it the first time I detoxed but I cut back way too much and ended up in withdrawals anyway.
You will be in my prayers. I am on hour 48 and it hasn't been too bad at all.
Just like having the flu. We can all handle the flu. Trust me when I say fear is the worst part of this. We get ourselves so scared that we keep putting off detox. It's only going to last 3 or 4 days and yet we keep putting it off week after week. 4 freaking days and we can have our life back. This forum helps so much. Post anything, anytime. If you are feeling good, post. If you are feeling bad, post. It just helps knowing you are not alone. You can do this and we all care xo
I tried it the first time I detoxed but I cut back way too much and ended up in withdrawals anyway.
You will be in my prayers. I am on hour 48 and it hasn't been too bad at all.
Just like having the flu. We can all handle the flu. Trust me when I say fear is the worst part of this. We get ourselves so scared that we keep putting off detox. It's only going to last 3 or 4 days and yet we keep putting it off week after week. 4 freaking days and we can have our life back. This forum helps so much. Post anything, anytime. If you are feeling good, post. If you are feeling bad, post. It just helps knowing you are not alone. You can do this and we all care xo
I was the same..if i had it i was taking it....so i let my supply run out...it was tough the first 3 -4 days..i slept maybe 45 mins the first night"... You need to do this..im on day 8 and stll have trouble sleeping but feel worlds better.. Really a week in hell is not a bad tradeoff for 8 years of addiction...just keep telling yourself every second that goes by is a second closer to the end..:))))
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