day 18 and i am miserable

[enough170]

ok, so its day 18, and i am so miserable, i dont even know why!!  i feel like the whole world is against me, i am grumpy, the slightest thing is annoying me, i am shouting at everyone for the silliest things, i feel so stupid and angry with myself, i am young fit healthy the whole world at my feet, so why do i feel like this??? i try talking myself round, i know there are people in the world with terrible things happening to them and they seem to be coping with everything life throws at them, me?? i cant even cope when someone drops a sock on the floor, i turn into some kind of raging monster!!!!  i am sorry for moaning, i just needed to vent.  does anyone else feel like this at times?? or am i a lunatic???

[hopinforhappy]

I am on day 21 today and I have had a few days like that so you are definately not alone.  I am wondering if you are doing any aftercare?  I was having quite a day the other day and I really didn't want to get up and go to a 12 step but I thought-- I need some time for me and this is a good excuse, no one will question me.  So I got up and went.  I left feeling rejuvinated.  It just helped to go somewhere, and just take care of me for a bit.  I needed the break from the kids and husband.  Good luck you are doing great things and taking charge.  Come on here and vent anytime.  There are people here who know exactly what you are feeling and have great ideas.  Congratulations!!

[dominosarah]

I know exactly what you are saying.  I remember hearing my daughter chew her food and the noise of her teeth just about sent me over the edge!!!  I thought everyone was doing things just to drive me nuts!!!!  It does pass and you will laugh about it later on.  She still brings that up at times!!!  Swimming should really help you tonight.  Any type of physical exertion is a plus.  You should be proud of yourself.  18 days is great!!  Just know this will get better.......sara

[enough170]

thanks sara, i think i just needed to hear someone say that i am not a lunatic!!  its crazy, my hubby was eating his dinner last night and even the sound of him eating was driving me insane, i shouted at him to eat quieter!!!!!!!!!!!  his face was a picture, i think he thought i was losing it.... i am going swimming tonight to try and release some energy, i hope it helps, i am really proud of myself for getting this far, and as yet i have no desire to return to using, so i am taking that as a good sign, i just want to be me again, does that make sense?

[dominosarah]

Congrats on 18 days!!!!!  That is great!!!

What you are feeling is pretty normal.  You are not a lunatic!!!  Lots of emotions at this time, anger, crying, rage, saddness.  This will get better with time.  Try and get some fresh air, walk around the block, turn the music on etc.  Just hang in there and keep moving forward.          sara