Aa
Any help please???
In the early months of January I had a bad trip of cocaine I mean a full blown panic attack. Fast heartbeat and overall just felt like I wasn't here kind of a high feeling. Since then my life has spiraled down and out of control. I feel like I'm going crazy and just seem confused about everything and feel as if something is seriously wrong. My memory is very short now and when I'm talking or doing something it feels like it's not me doing them. I feel detached from myself and can seem to feel ok. It's hard for me to sleep because when I'm asleep it feels like im falling just an ugly feeling. My therapist said it might be some anxiety issue but I feel like it's worse. Any input please
Today I'm feeling ok I still have this real ugly feeling of not being myself. When I started the cocaine, I was having the time of my life I had a great job a badass car everything a young teenager would want I had. I started doing cocaine for work use only to give me that boost and then within the two weeks it became a daily thing I just did for fun of it. When I had did the cocaine that night I felt like a major rush to my head and it felt as if I was high or something. My girlfriend tried to slap me out of it and even went to throwing a cold cup of water at me. Nothing did the job tho after a couple of hrs of being outside shirtless raining and cold I felt a little more calm but something was still wrong. For about another week or so I was able to go to work but I felt odd and I would sleep all day. Now I can barely sleep and haven't been to work for about a month I hardly go out and I just feel like I'm losing myself little by little. I cant even attempt to eat any candy drink any soda or even smoke a cigarette in fear of triggering something. I feel like things ain't the same anywhere. Sometimes I feel short sometimes tall sometimes things seem like they are floating or moving. Idk what is going on
Robin gave you some real solid advice and it sounds like you are taking it. I do not have panic disorder, but I am bipolar 1, so I do feel panic attacks, disassociated, depersonalized, OCD, ADHD, I go through most of the different labels. The reason I bring this up is, once I quit taking drugs regularly, it took a long time for my pre-existing condition to flare up. If I were to guess, the stimulant, cocaine, triggered something. Whether it be a psychological issue or a chemical imbalance, something changed in that short binge of drug use. That really is for a psychiatrist or doctor to determine. My opinion, don't just go with the first diagnosis and start in on treatment. I have seen this level of trust of a single opinion backfire many times. Sometimes it is the wrong diagnosis, sometimes the drugs they prescribe make the condition worse. Remember that when dealing with the Mentally Interesting issues, there is no blood test or absolute way to know exactly what it is, for most things. There is some experimenting involved, so educate yourself on any med suggested, be it benzodiazapines, amphetamines, anti psychotics, opiates, any drug suggested, please make sure you have a good diagnosis and are aware of what you put in your body. Just like the cocaine, you didn't know it would do this to you, don't you wish you would have known, you may have made a different choice? For example, if I were to go to a doctor in one of my depressive states and am catatonic, a first time visit might leave me with a script of Wellbutrin. Well, Wellbutrin is proven to cause mania and sometimes psychosis in bipolar, so I could potential make myself much worse, going by one visit and one diagnosis. Anyway, let us know what they say, ask lots of questions, and make educated decisions in this process.
I struggle everyday and every morning I get up I have to deal with being felt so detached like I'm not myself. I geti little breaks in the day which I feel ok sometimes but overall my fear is still their. In my mind I feel like I'm going crazy and im always thinking at any minute when am I going to snap. Your words have reassured me that I have hope. And hopefully within the next one or two days I will be starting a two week program to help me overcome this. Group therapy psychiatrist and therapist all at the same place. I definately want to keep yall updated on how this goes.
Honey:
You're young, and have your whole life ahead of you. You were checked out by a doctor, and you're okay. Stop beating yourself up because you made a mistake. You learned from it; that's what being young is for.
You did not ruin your whole life...but I understand why you feel like that. Panic attacks are, without any doubt on my part AT ALL, the most horrific, painful experiences a human can have. But the good news is that you CAN do things to stop them.
The Lorezapam is good short term, but I wouldn't rely on drugs to solve this problem. When I was dx'ed wtih panic disorder, the doctors gave me Xanax. I took it, but also knew that I needed a healthier solution. I found it: EXERCISE.
I was 30 or so when this all went down (over 20 years ago). I started jogging. SLOWLY. I built up to running 5K every day, and unbelievably, the panic attacks went away.
I ran into my 40's, until my joints said "no more!" Then I switched to a stationary bike, then an elliptical trainer. To this day, if I do not exercise, I will get panic attacks.
Don't be afraid of getting your heart going during exercise...it's good for you. Start maybe with walking. Short distances, then build up to longer ones. If the weather is nasty, try mall walking.
Also...I'm glad you're in therapy..how often do you go? You might benefit from 2-3 times a week short term (if you can afford it.) since this is a particularly stressful time for you. Another avenue would be a 12 step group. For some people, they are a life-saver. Others not so much.
Time and patience will put this nasty event behind you honey. Are you in college? Working? Focus not on the bad things, but the positive stuff in your life. Hobbies, friends, movies, music, life is all about what we pay attention to.
Trust someone old enough to be your mom; this too shall pass.
Hugs,
-Robin
You're young, and have your whole life ahead of you. You were checked out by a doctor, and you're okay. Stop beating yourself up because you made a mistake. You learned from it; that's what being young is for.
You did not ruin your whole life...but I understand why you feel like that. Panic attacks are, without any doubt on my part AT ALL, the most horrific, painful experiences a human can have. But the good news is that you CAN do things to stop them.
The Lorezapam is good short term, but I wouldn't rely on drugs to solve this problem. When I was dx'ed wtih panic disorder, the doctors gave me Xanax. I took it, but also knew that I needed a healthier solution. I found it: EXERCISE.
I was 30 or so when this all went down (over 20 years ago). I started jogging. SLOWLY. I built up to running 5K every day, and unbelievably, the panic attacks went away.
I ran into my 40's, until my joints said "no more!" Then I switched to a stationary bike, then an elliptical trainer. To this day, if I do not exercise, I will get panic attacks.
Don't be afraid of getting your heart going during exercise...it's good for you. Start maybe with walking. Short distances, then build up to longer ones. If the weather is nasty, try mall walking.
Also...I'm glad you're in therapy..how often do you go? You might benefit from 2-3 times a week short term (if you can afford it.) since this is a particularly stressful time for you. Another avenue would be a 12 step group. For some people, they are a life-saver. Others not so much.
Time and patience will put this nasty event behind you honey. Are you in college? Working? Focus not on the bad things, but the positive stuff in your life. Hobbies, friends, movies, music, life is all about what we pay attention to.
Trust someone old enough to be your mom; this too shall pass.
Hugs,
-Robin
I take lorazepam 1 mg when I need it or when I feel like I am gonna have a bad panic attack. It keeps me calm and makes my all my worries and me feeling not here kind of fade away. I got a script for 20 pills from the ER when I went in for a bad panic attack. Hopeful tommorow I will see a pyschatrist to maybe put me on another med.
I'm just curious,are you on any meds? Did the docs put you on anything for your anxiety? You don't take Valium or Ativan, Xanax maybe? Because these all have very big bad side effects like you're describing.
Wow thank u so much for your post. Im practically scared to death with drugs I won't touch them anymore and since the bad trip I've stopped drinking soda and eating all sorts of goodies like I used to. I'm afraid that all the sugar is gonna make my heart race and my anxiety or whatever Is wrong with me go up. Like you said tho I feel so detached from myself. I have gone to ER like two or three times due to a panic attack. And that feeling was horrible it felt like I was going crazy. I couldn't catch my breath I felt off balance and everything I was doing at the moment I kept thinking it wasn't me doing them. I'm only 20 yrs old and I keep telling myself that the one bad trip has messed my life up for good. It's hard for me to catch my sleep and my eating has dropped dramatically. The things I once enjoyed I find no interest at all. I've gotten a ekg done and also x Rays of my chest just to make sure nothing serious. I just feel like I am on the edge of losing it.
Great post Robin!! Seems you've had a lot more hurdles to overcome than just your addiction. Such a strong soul you are!! <3
How old are you sweetie?
If you're young and don't have any other health issues, AND your doctor gives you a thorough exam, then I'd believe what he/she says.
Coke is really hard on your body, especially your heart.
It's possible that your bad trip triggered the start of panic attacks. For me, they began after I had a really bad miscarriage (2nd trimester.) I had always been an anxious person (abusive childhood; physically but worse emotionally) but I had never had a true "panic attack."
It came out of the blue one day. I had lost the baby maybe a month earlier. It was a normal day; I was making homemade spinach pies and mixing the dough..my 5 year old was watching cartoons, and then all of a sudden, I felt funny. One minute I was fine, and the next, I was positive I was going to die.
I went to my bedroom to lay down, but my knees buckled and I FELL down, hitting my head on the bedpost. I was able to get up but I remember thinking "my God, what is going on...am I dying?" I was getting full body flushes, my heart was racing, and I couldn't breathe.
I was able to call a neighbor who (thank goodness) was also a nurse. She said my color was awful; I was white as a ghost. I was also having weird symptoms (panic attacks can do that I guess, even though they aren't life threatening.) My blood pressure was sky high, but my pulse was brady (too low.)
She called 911 and off I went to the hospital. I was convinced that the miscarriage had triggered something like a blood clot in my brain and I was going to die. Was saying the Lord's prayer out loud and tears streaming down my face.
Well, docs did every test in the book, and I was fit as a fiddle. "It's just a panic attack." I was told. I felt belittled and foolish. Over the next 20 years I did a lot of research into it, and there was no reason I should have felt that way.
Panic attacks and anxiety attacks are NOT the same thing. They are often lumped together, but a true panic attack is VERY physical and VERY scary.
I'm not a doctor, but it sounds very much like this is panic disorder. The "detached" feeling you're having is exactly what I felt like. Everything made me dizzy, confused and scared.
I don't know what your therapist is talking about...doors opened that were meant to stay closed...what on God's green earth does THAT mean? If there is something in your past, in your subconscious, something that happened to you that you've buried, it needs to come out so you can process it.
Just my 2 cents. Stick with your doctor, and insist they check you out completely. Blood work, EKG, everything. If I were you, I'd 'fess up about the cocaine. They can't arrest you, and your doctors NEED to know what you've done to properly assess you.
You'll be okay sweetie. Take deep breaths, try to have your day STRUCTURED...get up at the same time, do comforting things (are there tv shows you like to watch? songs that make you feel good?) Eat good food...do you like to cook?
I am a home chef, and for me, cooking a very soothing and helps me to calm down. Its hard to be upset when there are chocolate chip cookies in the oven!
Keep posting...
Hugs,
-Robin
If you're young and don't have any other health issues, AND your doctor gives you a thorough exam, then I'd believe what he/she says.
Coke is really hard on your body, especially your heart.
It's possible that your bad trip triggered the start of panic attacks. For me, they began after I had a really bad miscarriage (2nd trimester.) I had always been an anxious person (abusive childhood; physically but worse emotionally) but I had never had a true "panic attack."
It came out of the blue one day. I had lost the baby maybe a month earlier. It was a normal day; I was making homemade spinach pies and mixing the dough..my 5 year old was watching cartoons, and then all of a sudden, I felt funny. One minute I was fine, and the next, I was positive I was going to die.
I went to my bedroom to lay down, but my knees buckled and I FELL down, hitting my head on the bedpost. I was able to get up but I remember thinking "my God, what is going on...am I dying?" I was getting full body flushes, my heart was racing, and I couldn't breathe.
I was able to call a neighbor who (thank goodness) was also a nurse. She said my color was awful; I was white as a ghost. I was also having weird symptoms (panic attacks can do that I guess, even though they aren't life threatening.) My blood pressure was sky high, but my pulse was brady (too low.)
She called 911 and off I went to the hospital. I was convinced that the miscarriage had triggered something like a blood clot in my brain and I was going to die. Was saying the Lord's prayer out loud and tears streaming down my face.
Well, docs did every test in the book, and I was fit as a fiddle. "It's just a panic attack." I was told. I felt belittled and foolish. Over the next 20 years I did a lot of research into it, and there was no reason I should have felt that way.
Panic attacks and anxiety attacks are NOT the same thing. They are often lumped together, but a true panic attack is VERY physical and VERY scary.
I'm not a doctor, but it sounds very much like this is panic disorder. The "detached" feeling you're having is exactly what I felt like. Everything made me dizzy, confused and scared.
I don't know what your therapist is talking about...doors opened that were meant to stay closed...what on God's green earth does THAT mean? If there is something in your past, in your subconscious, something that happened to you that you've buried, it needs to come out so you can process it.
Just my 2 cents. Stick with your doctor, and insist they check you out completely. Blood work, EKG, everything. If I were you, I'd 'fess up about the cocaine. They can't arrest you, and your doctors NEED to know what you've done to properly assess you.
You'll be okay sweetie. Take deep breaths, try to have your day STRUCTURED...get up at the same time, do comforting things (are there tv shows you like to watch? songs that make you feel good?) Eat good food...do you like to cook?
I am a home chef, and for me, cooking a very soothing and helps me to calm down. Its hard to be upset when there are chocolate chip cookies in the oven!
Keep posting...
Hugs,
-Robin
Thanks guys for the comments in still getting checked out both by a doctor and therapist. My therapist believes I opened a door that was meant to stay closed and now that anxiety is here it's killing me. Could the one time bad trip from cocaine could have done something worse then what they r telling me??
I second your suggestion, Krissy.
Something isn't right here. Avoid ALL stimulants (that means caffeine)..don't drink, and certainly don't do any more drugs. i'm a bit concerned by your comment about "nothing too big." You can die from cardiac arrest after doing cocaine ONCE.
I don't mean to scare you, but I do. Please don't do this drug anymore, and if I were you, I'd talk to a doctor...good luck honey.
Something isn't right here. Avoid ALL stimulants (that means caffeine)..don't drink, and certainly don't do any more drugs. i'm a bit concerned by your comment about "nothing too big." You can die from cardiac arrest after doing cocaine ONCE.
I don't mean to scare you, but I do. Please don't do this drug anymore, and if I were you, I'd talk to a doctor...good luck honey.
You still feel this way even though it's been a month and a half since? You also weren't a regular user? I'd recommend going to see a doctor,there isn't anything anyone on here that can help with this. Only to tell you to get in and get checked ASAP.
I was doing cocaine for a regular basis previous for about two weeks but it was like 20s and 40s nothing to big. But when I had the bag trip I stopped completely. I haven't even been able to go to work or do anything. Nothing interests me at all.
Hello and welcome. Cocaine can definitely bring on anxiety
Especially if you are predisposed to it.
Had you used coke before?
Especially if you are predisposed to it.
Had you used coke before?
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