Just got home with my Sub script

[Flutterby111]

My doctor was fabulous and feels the sub will be perfect for the goals I have set which is to deal with the issues life has thrown at me without the worries of cravings and the obsessions of pills on my mind....to respond to Avis's other post, my plan of after care is to apply for a rule 25 to see if I can get some support from the governemtn for so outpatient support in a women's group, attend some NA, and stick around on here if it stays positive for me.  But keeping in mind I have to spend time to grieve my father's death in a healthy way-which includes a grief and loss therapist weekly.  Also, to pick on where I left off on my plan to be a stay at home mother with my 2 children and help with my husband's business which has been completely pushed aside since the sudden death of my 51 year old father.  Everything got pushed aside and I was pushed over the edge.  now it's time to pick myself up, and dust myself off as they say.  I'm scared.  My emotions over my father started resurfacing about 8 hours after my last dose and I have black tear marks running down my face.....form make up.  It's horrid.  It's anguish.  But it's real.  So here I go, onto a new chapter of a dreaded reality.  My legs are started to ache and my doctor is confident I can start at 2mg of Sub 3 times daily starting tonight.  With no bad side effects.  Wish me luck.  I'll be on later.  Bless you all wherever you are on your journey.....I know I don't have it half as tough as some of you do, but for me this is worse than the worst..... but I'll be ok....I hope.  ♥ flutter.

[triedeverymed]

PLease give us an update?? How are you doing?
Erin

[pdiddy75]

Hiya friend!

Well we made out first day clean and Im so proud of us. You are gonna do this, with the help of me, and you helping me....we will get through this together!! Im here for you whenever! I am hoping to hear from u so I know how you did!! Good night..you are in my prayers....

[Flutterby111]

I will honey.  Thank you for everything.  It's scary to have emotions flowing, but that's life.....I can hear my Dad's voice now.  
♥ ya
flutter

[newgirl2708]

I am so very proud of you. Keep us posted.
All My Best,
Newgirl

[10356]

Flutter it did my heart good to read your post, you sound like you are moving in the right direction and that you have a wonderful plan in place. It sounds solid. I'm also relived for you that you are allowing yourself to grieve your Dear dads passing (he is proud of you) in a healthy manner, not only will you be teaching your children how to deal with life and death but you are honoring your Dad as I know that is important to you, I have been following your Journey and you sound like a caring giving sweet intelligent person and I'm proud of you... Lesa

[tommm70]

Good luck to you. Just stay focused, and good things will happen. Use your fathers memory as a crutch. His love will always be with you. Nothing can ever take that away. There are a lot of good people here that will listen.
One day at a time.

[worried878]

Good luck to you girl...I hope that this gives you a chance to grieve your father's loss and help u to move forward...best of luck and prayers are with you

[LONESOME]

You should be ok with 2mg three times a day what I did was my last pill was thu at 9pm then on fri at 10pm I took 1 2mg and went to sleep I sleep all night and woke up ok the next am ant took a 2mg at around 10 am.
Good luck you will be fine

[cathy5841]

i am so glad you are excited about this.  the mental attitude has alot to do with how you recover.  stay positive.  glad your dr was good, i know that was a huge load lifted.  glad you are gonna stick with the forum.  and call me anytime you need aboost.  or a swift kick in the a$$.
love ya hun
cathy

[GoingToMakeIt]

This so so good. You got a good Dr, it sounds like. Keep it up.

[triedeverymed]

You sound like you've got it down & you're doc sounds great! I am so very sorry for your loss. I lost my Mon at age 54 and it was hell. My prayers are with you, it really will get to a better place. I just went to my Moms remembrance tree and watered it with no tears just telling funny stories. You'll be there too someday. In the mean time, use the support you have here, I'm sure I'm not the only one pulling for you.
God Bless,
Erin

[avisg]

It sounds like you have a very good care plan for yourself to help with your grief and your addiction. I know it feels like the grief is going to over take you ,it will be difficult but you WILL get threw. You will heal. Let us know how you are doing with the sub ,We will be here to support you.
avis

[NautyOne]

yeah !!   Good luck, and be careful with the sub too.  You know.

Luv,
Nauty..........