Still here-sort of

[jennarose333]

Ok, so the good news is that it has been 16 big days since my last norco. I was feeling pretty good abt this. Still craving it all the time, but I have stayed away. The problem, and a pretty big one I might add, is that I am just taking different chemicals in its place. I have ativan (prescribed) to deal with anxiety and I was taking it every night to help with sleeping. Then it stopped working for sleeping, but I still took it. It sort of barely took the edge off but somehow I feel it helps. But then I would feel a little groggy in the mornings-needed lots of coffee. Then I decided to try something I used to take off and on-Ritalin.I can get this very easily (family member). So now I am taking ativan at night and ritalin in the day and its just a mess. I know I just need to stop the madness and stop self medicating, I know it!!! Just so hard. Now I feel weird, and alternate between fake energy and fake calm (before I just had fake happiness I guess) And on Saturday I will be presented with a very big challenge as I will have ready access to more pills-norcos and percs (another family member-all drugstore junkies around me) I think my only chance here is to get some therapy and someone to guide me through this, Ive come to terms with the fact that I havent gotten to where I can do this without help.. My question is, besides screwing up my head, am I screwing up my body (heart maybe) by alternating between a stimulant and a benzo?

[Jimmy86]

Listen I was on vicoden for 4 years and detoxed at home it was awful and from what I have researched vicoden is worse then crack to get off. Its not good that you are using an upper and downer the trick to get off any drug is you need to actually want to get off and when you do you have to find somethin or someone you want to do it for. Like for me it was my special needs daughter it not easy but that thing will always make it better. I have a chance to get them just like you my brother and ALL my neighbors have them its all mind over matter its corny but it does work

[Nighthawk61]

there's 2940 posted replies on Insomnia.

[Nighthawk61]

You haven't mentioned how old you are Jenna, the first thing an addict must do is cut our people places and things that trigger their addiction and it seems your family are all addicts. What can you do? Can you tell them to respect your choice to not be an addict, and to keep their drugs out of sight (out of mind); can you leave and move in with another family member who do not take drugs.

Yes, you should be talking to an Addictions Counselor for sure. I did, many do! You need to stop taking the Ritalin (however you must) and think about ways to combat your anxiety with a psychologist first, and try to get off of the Ativan if the side effects make you feel uncomfortable. This has been done before here, many times.

You should be honest with a doctor and talk about what you are taking and that you want to get off of them.  You can access prior posts by going to the box beside Post a Question, and asking about Ritalin Withdrawal for instance, there's 100 previous posts that you can read. There are 1370 posts about Ativan withdrawal.  

Hope this helps. Keep up the good work, you've got the right idea. There is a clean and sober life that is so much better than how you are living, or how your addicted family members are living, and you will get there if you continue to work towards the goal You are brave to do this, with little family support. Maybe if you ask them for support, they will give you the support?

Best wishes. Respectfully, Liz

[OpenMind24hours]

Downer and then upper while going through opiate WDs, wow. I think you'd need to talk to the doctor who has the charts and EKGs on your heart. As for Atavan, your doctor feels you need it. As for non-prescribed Ritalin? I know you're having a hard time, but try to look at your recovery and withdrawal as something you need to pass through to get to the other side. Like a patient in a hospital you're recovering! When you're tired BE tired, it's okay to feel tired and sh--y. Your not going to feel normal for awhile. Getting good sleep is what your doctor wants, THAT will eventually make you feel better during the day.

I'm on day 8 WD from hydro. Got some sleep last night and feel better than I have the last 7 days. When I was in the middle of the fight, just plain coffee made me jittery and my heart was pounding.