WD DAY 6 with a 4 yr and 5 month old OMG

[I_Have_Fallen]

Yep, you guessed it homies, I let daughter and two grands referenced above come stay this aftn and the babies are staying overnight while she works - I know I should have said no and (omg I can't even type this without my 4 yr old grandson saying "mimi, mimi (that's me) mimi - you know what I did?  Mimi, look, Mimi ... I can't believe I'm laughing at this - I may be hysterical - REALLY THOUGH .... even though my daughter is feeling bad with some unexplained pain in her side and a bad tooth (hey, Bamma) why can't I just say no????????  I know I have a right to detox in a semblance of peace, but it just feels SO SELFISH when I can be of help to her???????? I'm hopeless

[minn66]

Bama is right. I did the same thing yesterday. I felt awful and didn't realize I was going through wd and agreed to babysit my 3 year old grandson.   Luckily he realized Gaga was sick and behaved very well. She did try to get me to keep him today and as much as I love them I had to say no.

Thinking of you and hope you feel better.

[bama88]

Im on phone so bare with me. You need to make yourself priority no1. No ifs and or buts. Our kids have a way of hitting our buttons. Either thru guilt manipulation. Or we have big soft hearts. Why cant her babys daddy watch the kids?. He helped make them. Hes responsible too. You should have told her youve got the flu. Im not advicating lieing. But you have got to change your thinking. Especially now. She has to learn not to depend on you for a babysitter. Tough love. I bet she manipulated or played the im helpless card. She pushed some button. Am i right? Because i dont think you would have called her up and say hey i feel great. Bring over the kids. Focus on yourself for once. I bet its been a long long long time since you have put yourself first. Im sorry im being hard on you but i want you to get better. Your my friend even though i dont know you personally and weve just started talking today. But i know you. Were southern. We feel obligated to help. We give you the shirt off our back. We also put ourselves last. Am i correct? I bet youve been a part of her drama so many times. Listening to her problems. Well youve got problems too. And big ones. Ever been on an airplane? Have you ever listened to the preflight announcement?  if the oxygen mask pops down you put yours on first than help the person next to you? What im getting at is put yourself first. Im gonna pray for you. Hugs.

[bama88]

I knew you would cave in. I knew it was gonna be bad on you. I have kids too. 13 and 20. I have learned how to say no. And mean it. I know you love your daugjter and grandkids but detoxing is serious stuff. Serious sick. And now your gonna have them tonight and what do you want to bet all day tomorrow? Shes the momma of the kids. She chose to live with baby daddy and her drama. You didnt twist her arm for what she chose. But you cant keep feeling sorry for her. I know its hard to say no. Believe me. I get that

[lulu747]

Ever heard that expression "Just take care of yourself and the rest will fall into place?"  It's true.  But also challenging in real life where we have jobs and responsibilities and people that we love and want to be there for.  The thing is-you are doing this for your daughter and grandchildren as much as you are doing it for yourself...Because you want to be happy and healthy and present and around for a long while.  Your recovery needs to come first because without it there is nothing else.  That being said-the distraction of your grandchildren may be a blessing.  Children are so intuitive.  Tell them Mimi is not feeling well and just stay in the moment with them...If it's too much then it's too much and your daughter is an adult and she'll have to understand....Does she know what you're going through?  Only you know what you can handle and what you can't.  In my early days I was often surprised at how much I could handle.  More than when I was sick on the drugs anyways.  I don't know what to tell you except you're doing great and try to take good care of yourself and stay present in the moment...This moment is really all we have....Lu