Aa
can you help me understand??
My ex husbands admitted an opiate addiction a few months ago. On Oct 31st he informed me he initiated sub treatment for his addiction. As I mentioned, I'm the ex wife so there isn't much support that I personally give him. He has a girl friend who is also an addict and according to him giving him the assistance and support that he needs. The only thing I asked of him was to initiate his treatment with the sub (since that was the treatment he chose) before trying to handle the kids. (he has visitation with them every weekend). I had hoped that he would go to a doctor and at least have a prescription bottle I could see on occassion, in hopes to see that he is taking it as he should. However he is unable to afford treatment for both him and his girlfriend so he said he is sharing hers. She does live with him most days at his house. The only time she is not there is a couple days a week when she goes to her moms to visit with her children.
The day he told me of his problem he informed me that he could not discuss his problem any further because of his girlfriend. At her request/need, we are not to speak of anything that does not relate directly to the kids. I told him at that time that I really did need to see a bottle of sub, just to help me feel better when I send the kids with him. Of course, due to his finances that I guess, is impossible now.
His first sub was Oct 31st. From that time, he does not talk to me about his progress or how he's feeling unless we have a disagreement about the kids needs/schedule. He then gets angry with me, tells me he never feels like he needs a pill until he has to deal with me...or he'll yell at me because he says "you act like you care about my problem but you never ask" Ive explained to him over and over that I've been told by him and her that I'm not allowed to ask...I'm not sure what else I'm suppose to do.
Our children have always been a priority to him, he may have not been the best husband, but he has always been a good father. He was missing visits and pushing them aside without thinking about it when he was using. Now that he has been clean I've been waiting for him to get back on track. He does come to get them...yes he is still very late on many days but he does show. My problems and concerns are that now his oldest child doesn't really want to go with him...I truly don't know why...she says shes bored there. I honestly think that that is just and excuse. She doesn't do anymore here than she does there. I've told him I think something is making her uncomfortable and that she isn't admitting what the problem is but he says that isn't true and of course it's all my fault. I do know that she doesn't like his girlfriend too much...but she won't admit that...my youngest daughter told me. I suggested they all go to counseling but he wont do that.
Because she didn't want to go this weekend, he informed my youngest daughter (who is 11 and adores him) that he will no longer be coming to get them except for xmas and birthdays. She was heartbroken and balling her eyes out when she gave the phone back to me...he proceeded to tell me the same and that he thinks he just go ahead and start paying child support instead of seeing them. Of course he informed me that he knows I'm "the one all behind this" situation. I didn't even know he and the girls were having this conversation! What the heck am I suppose to do?? My youngest is devestated and I'm so confused....isn't this suppose to get better once they have this out of their systems...shouldn't he be thinking more clearly by now he's been on the sub for two months now...this is just so unlike him when it comes to the girls....I didn't think him getting clean would bring these kind of consequences...I thought it would make things better. My 11 year old told me that just because one kid doesn't want to go doesn't mean the other kids should be punished...as she continued to cry her eyes out.....how can I make this better????
The day he told me of his problem he informed me that he could not discuss his problem any further because of his girlfriend. At her request/need, we are not to speak of anything that does not relate directly to the kids. I told him at that time that I really did need to see a bottle of sub, just to help me feel better when I send the kids with him. Of course, due to his finances that I guess, is impossible now.
His first sub was Oct 31st. From that time, he does not talk to me about his progress or how he's feeling unless we have a disagreement about the kids needs/schedule. He then gets angry with me, tells me he never feels like he needs a pill until he has to deal with me...or he'll yell at me because he says "you act like you care about my problem but you never ask" Ive explained to him over and over that I've been told by him and her that I'm not allowed to ask...I'm not sure what else I'm suppose to do.
Our children have always been a priority to him, he may have not been the best husband, but he has always been a good father. He was missing visits and pushing them aside without thinking about it when he was using. Now that he has been clean I've been waiting for him to get back on track. He does come to get them...yes he is still very late on many days but he does show. My problems and concerns are that now his oldest child doesn't really want to go with him...I truly don't know why...she says shes bored there. I honestly think that that is just and excuse. She doesn't do anymore here than she does there. I've told him I think something is making her uncomfortable and that she isn't admitting what the problem is but he says that isn't true and of course it's all my fault. I do know that she doesn't like his girlfriend too much...but she won't admit that...my youngest daughter told me. I suggested they all go to counseling but he wont do that.
Because she didn't want to go this weekend, he informed my youngest daughter (who is 11 and adores him) that he will no longer be coming to get them except for xmas and birthdays. She was heartbroken and balling her eyes out when she gave the phone back to me...he proceeded to tell me the same and that he thinks he just go ahead and start paying child support instead of seeing them. Of course he informed me that he knows I'm "the one all behind this" situation. I didn't even know he and the girls were having this conversation! What the heck am I suppose to do?? My youngest is devestated and I'm so confused....isn't this suppose to get better once they have this out of their systems...shouldn't he be thinking more clearly by now he's been on the sub for two months now...this is just so unlike him when it comes to the girls....I didn't think him getting clean would bring these kind of consequences...I thought it would make things better. My 11 year old told me that just because one kid doesn't want to go doesn't mean the other kids should be punished...as she continued to cry her eyes out.....how can I make this better????
I think you should consider keeping your girls home for awhile, my guess would be that they have heard or see some fighting over at the girlfriends. Perhaps you could suggest that he come to your home or a public place to see the kids. Kids are very wise to what is really going on. You can also tell your ex that without a phone, you do not feel safe having them at his home without being able to reach your children at all times. Get the court ordered childsupport set up before you sleep another day. Even if it takes him a lifetime to pay you back, the kids have it coming. Once you have the order in place, they will take his tax return. If he comes into any money in anyway, you will get yours first.
i'm sorry it took so long to respond. day 8 and 9 of my detox wiped me out.
You don't need an attorney to get child support. That is what friend of the court is for. That's what we pay them to do. And write a letter, factual not emotional, regarding your husbands addiction, and just ask to have it put in 'the' file. You never know what may happen. But then you have a paper trail. If he doesn't show up to see the kids, write a letter. It won't do anything now but sit in a file, but if a custody issue or anything comes up, you've covered your ars. I have a 17 year old, and our friend of the court file is probably 1 or 2 feet thick! But we just had a fight, my x and I, last year, and thankfully my letters over the years made him look like an idiot.
but remember, short, factual, non emotional letters. Just an 'fyi' letter.
You are in a tough spot, and i'm sorry for you.
You don't need an attorney to get child support. That is what friend of the court is for. That's what we pay them to do. And write a letter, factual not emotional, regarding your husbands addiction, and just ask to have it put in 'the' file. You never know what may happen. But then you have a paper trail. If he doesn't show up to see the kids, write a letter. It won't do anything now but sit in a file, but if a custody issue or anything comes up, you've covered your ars. I have a 17 year old, and our friend of the court file is probably 1 or 2 feet thick! But we just had a fight, my x and I, last year, and thankfully my letters over the years made him look like an idiot.
but remember, short, factual, non emotional letters. Just an 'fyi' letter.
You are in a tough spot, and i'm sorry for you.
ur welcome...feel free to pm me anytime. i only have the internet at work....so, if u message me and i dont respond...it's means im not at work (altho that is rate).
i agree with the above....no matter what...they are ur kids with him. u know...i HATE current girlfriends that behave this way. i hate my boyfriend's ex girlfriend/baby mama....BUT, she is his son's mom so i have to respect that...maybe not her....but they have a kid together. she's a pc of work too. and when they talk (which they havent lately) it is always her SCREAMING at him......and i gotta sit there and keep my mouth shut (which, as most know is all but impossible).
if anything....u have to find a way to talk to your ex. shoot, include the stupid girlfriend if u must. if she wants to be a part of it....then include her to make ur life easier. if it comes down to ultimatems...then do that. i hate to fight dirty...but, sometimes u have to. i express ur concern about the kids to ur ex and tell him u need time to talk to him and his lovely about the kids.....and, u have every right in the world to know his progress of his sobriety. those are ur kids....and u must know they are in good hands...if u didnt care, id question ur motherly love. so good for u. stay strong. PLEASE contact me about anything u need even if it's just to vent :o)
i agree with the above....no matter what...they are ur kids with him. u know...i HATE current girlfriends that behave this way. i hate my boyfriend's ex girlfriend/baby mama....BUT, she is his son's mom so i have to respect that...maybe not her....but they have a kid together. she's a pc of work too. and when they talk (which they havent lately) it is always her SCREAMING at him......and i gotta sit there and keep my mouth shut (which, as most know is all but impossible).
if anything....u have to find a way to talk to your ex. shoot, include the stupid girlfriend if u must. if she wants to be a part of it....then include her to make ur life easier. if it comes down to ultimatems...then do that. i hate to fight dirty...but, sometimes u have to. i express ur concern about the kids to ur ex and tell him u need time to talk to him and his lovely about the kids.....and, u have every right in the world to know his progress of his sobriety. those are ur kids....and u must know they are in good hands...if u didnt care, id question ur motherly love. so good for u. stay strong. PLEASE contact me about anything u need even if it's just to vent :o)
First I'm very sorry that you and your family are having to deal with the aftermath of addiction.. bluespence had given you some great advice.. His erratic behavior and the fact that the 2 are sharing the sub he may be going into wd once a month that definitely skewers the thinking and if you are taking drugs to not feel the wd till you get the sub it makes it even worse.. I do not think your ex is out of the woods yet, it may best for the kids not to be with them at this time.. I can not imagen with the gf and her feeling on them that it is a very comfortable feeling as kids can pick up on the most subtle emotions.. Good plan to at least start a paper trail.. I had raised a daughter from a Heroin addict my-self included but the father was not in the picture.. She was raised with the knowledge that he loved her, it is that he has a disease that prevents him from living and feeling things normally.. She see's the man I married as Dad but she has no hate in her heart for the man who fathered her.. I wish you and your family well.. lesa
Your very right in your comments. I guess me trying to protect the girls is also in a way hurting them...since they have no reason to think their dad is sick, because I haven't told them. Your right in saying that I should share parts of this with them....of course staying away from the would "addiction" "drugs" etc. I was so busy trying to protect them and keep them from hurting or being scared that I didn't realize...part of this in regards to his emotions and behaviors, I should be sharing with them so they do understand...that right now they just might not truly be seeing the dad they are use to at the moment. How is it that I couldn't realize that could be the case...Oh dear goodness I should have realized that long ago before now...I guess since he's been telling me that he doesn't have any withdrawls/cravings...that all was good...I didn't take the time to realize that he may still have some reactions that are still not himself...Thanks again for your comments...and thank you so much for helping me, help my girls!
As a parent you have a right to know what is going on with your ex and his drug use, regardless what his g/f wants. Regardless if he is on drugs, using sub or whatever, if he is doing or saying things that hurt your kids you have a right and an obligation to figure out what is going on. Obviously your kids don't need to know the specifics but they may need to hear that their dad is sick so that they can understand that his behavior isn't because he doesn't love them but that because he is sick and not acting like himself. If it were me and my kids were crying and upset I would seclude myself (because my kids don't need to hear the conversation) and I would call him and tell him that his girls are hurting and that you need to know what is going on. If he won't talk to you then it is probably better that he doesn't see the kids because if he won't be consistent then your kids don't need to be put through all the ups and downs of his actions. Then you need to talk to kids (never talking bad about their dad) but make sure they know from you that thier dad loves them and that none of this is thier fault. They need reassurance and support from you and consistency. They also need to know that when they are ready that they can talk to you about their feelings. Your older daughter may not want to talk now, but make sure she knows you are there for her when she is ready. I am divorced too, so I know how it is when the other parent does stuff to hurt the kids and all I do is comfort them and reassure them that thier dad loves them and that he does not ever intentionally hurt them. I hope this helps...
He's snorted any pills he's ever taken. Yes, I'm sure he realizes the tylenol in the other meds...but he always used for the "high"/"energy" from the pills and so I don't think he really worried about the amounts of tylenol he was getting from them. He just liked the effects he got from snorting them...
Please know that I do not take your response as sounding "harsh". I totally understand where you're coming from. I have tossed that over and over in my head. Because I have many worries when it comes to my girls. I chose not to involve them at this time, because since he is from what I understand seeking some sort of treatment, I don't want him to feel that what he is doing isn't good enough...I was/am holding that as my last resort. I don't want him or my girls to feel that I'm not giving him a chance.
If you were meaning child support...I have left a message with an attorney to help me get that established. She hasn't called me back yet..but it is the holidays. I am persuing court established support because at this time...I can't count on him for that so I do need the the help or at least someone helping me keep track...
If I'm looking at this wrong...can you please share what you mean by you know from experience?? I understand the illness of addiction, but as far as "experienced"....I'm truly not...
If you were meaning child support...I have left a message with an attorney to help me get that established. She hasn't called me back yet..but it is the holidays. I am persuing court established support because at this time...I can't count on him for that so I do need the the help or at least someone helping me keep track...
If I'm looking at this wrong...can you please share what you mean by you know from experience?? I understand the illness of addiction, but as far as "experienced"....I'm truly not...
Thank you so much for taking the time to talk to me today...I just truly feel at my wits end. Probably wouldn't be so bad, but I also came from a divorced home with an absent father (due to his alcoholism) and I have done anything and everything to keep that from being the case with my own kids.
Your so right, it could be one of a million things..I will try to keep that in mind. Talking to him about this is nearly impossible..at least at the moment. After he told my youngest he wasn't coming for her anymore, he had her give the phone to me and was pretty adamit that I was the reason in which my other daughter wouldn't go over...he forgot the last time she did this..I was the one who made her get her things so she could spend time with him...he was the one that made her come back inside and told her to "forget it"...It was an ugly mess...she came back flying into the house all hysterical too. All upset and crying saying..."he told me to be honest so I did" She didn't come out of her room for four hours...
As for me talking to him about this, I will try again. At this moment he doesn't have a home phone and I'm pretty sure his girlfriend checks his cell phone/cell bill for calls, texts etc. He currently can't text cause his phone screen is broken, but he can make calls from it...but lately the past few calls he has made to me about the kids...he has made using his work phone...i think he called from there because it was lengthy chats about conversations he's had with the kids...and things that he felt he wanted to apologize to me from years and years ago. So you see, I have seen some progress in some ways...His girlfriend does have a cell phone, but when we tried to communicate on her phone last weekend..it brought on four days of her being angry...so I can't do that. I will try to talk to him when he goes back to work on Tues...I don't imagine we will be hearing from him at least until then....Thanks again!
Your so right, it could be one of a million things..I will try to keep that in mind. Talking to him about this is nearly impossible..at least at the moment. After he told my youngest he wasn't coming for her anymore, he had her give the phone to me and was pretty adamit that I was the reason in which my other daughter wouldn't go over...he forgot the last time she did this..I was the one who made her get her things so she could spend time with him...he was the one that made her come back inside and told her to "forget it"...It was an ugly mess...she came back flying into the house all hysterical too. All upset and crying saying..."he told me to be honest so I did" She didn't come out of her room for four hours...
As for me talking to him about this, I will try again. At this moment he doesn't have a home phone and I'm pretty sure his girlfriend checks his cell phone/cell bill for calls, texts etc. He currently can't text cause his phone screen is broken, but he can make calls from it...but lately the past few calls he has made to me about the kids...he has made using his work phone...i think he called from there because it was lengthy chats about conversations he's had with the kids...and things that he felt he wanted to apologize to me from years and years ago. So you see, I have seen some progress in some ways...His girlfriend does have a cell phone, but when we tried to communicate on her phone last weekend..it brought on four days of her being angry...so I can't do that. I will try to talk to him when he goes back to work on Tues...I don't imagine we will be hearing from him at least until then....Thanks again!
She needs to notify the court of what? Of her ex husbands addiction? Or of not paying support?
this will sound harsh, but friend of the court needs to be notified. you need to protect your children. You should have a paper trail with the court, because you just don't know what can happen in the future.
I speak from experience.
I speak from experience.
some people will infact snort anything...but, usually they wont snort vicodin or percocet. there's tylenol in them (as u know im sure) and even addicts don't usually want tylenol up their nose. altho, i have heard many people, even on here, say u can be addicted to the act of snorting....BUT, im betting if u said something to u about oxy's before...and u know he snorts....then, he is snorting oxy's.
it will be almost impossible for him to get better tho if his girlfriend would go back to pills. my bf couldn't associate with other addicts when he is trying to get clean. the temptation is just too much for him.....
can u talk to your ex specifically about ur daughter, why he said that to her and how upset she is?
it will be almost impossible for him to get better tho if his girlfriend would go back to pills. my bf couldn't associate with other addicts when he is trying to get clean. the temptation is just too much for him.....
can u talk to your ex specifically about ur daughter, why he said that to her and how upset she is?
Oh...forgot to mention...he was snorting them. Right after he admitted his problem...he said that he threw his back out and he got a script for perc's...at that time he and his girlfriend had ran out of sub. He got the script filled on Friday and it was gone by Sunday morning. Not sure how much they prescribed him..he didn't say...just that it didn't help as it should have because of his abuse issues...but that he didn't snort those...he took those by mouth...all the other times, he always snorted them...
To be honest..I'm not sure. He admitted a problem with pills a year after I left him...when he told me, he had also told me that he had cleaned his act up since then. I was very saddened at that time that he hadn't been honest with me...because I would have helped him in anyway that I could have. He said that with me being a nurse, it just made it that much harder for him to tell me...and that I do understand, but it still hurt. That was two years ago.
I called him out on his problem a few months ago...started seeing the changes etc etc and he did admit it to me. Told me that he had had relapses on and off and at the present time he wasn't able to function with out the pills...or he wouldn't be able to get out of bed, work etc etc.
He uses what every they have at work. We work in long term care so most any type of pain med is available and at his fingertips. He said it was they oxys that screwed him...but I have no idea honestly...He admitted that he "took too many....way too many" The only actual number he gave me was at times he was taking up to 14 pills a day...not sure of what or which...
He says he has no cravings what so ever on the sub though and that with the sub he feels "normal" again...so that's why I wasn't understand his changes in behavior with our children....from my understanding they both, he and the girlfriend take 2mg of sub per day. She has been on it since May of this year and he just started his Oct 31st....am I just being too antsy wishing for positive benefits??? Of course I'm very glad he isn't using...but was hoping I wouldn't see such sad choices or decisions when it came to our children...
btw...I have read many of your posts re: you and your boyfriend and children...I hope all is well and glad he has started his sub...and god bless you for standing by him..for him, you and your children
I called him out on his problem a few months ago...started seeing the changes etc etc and he did admit it to me. Told me that he had had relapses on and off and at the present time he wasn't able to function with out the pills...or he wouldn't be able to get out of bed, work etc etc.
He uses what every they have at work. We work in long term care so most any type of pain med is available and at his fingertips. He said it was they oxys that screwed him...but I have no idea honestly...He admitted that he "took too many....way too many" The only actual number he gave me was at times he was taking up to 14 pills a day...not sure of what or which...
He says he has no cravings what so ever on the sub though and that with the sub he feels "normal" again...so that's why I wasn't understand his changes in behavior with our children....from my understanding they both, he and the girlfriend take 2mg of sub per day. She has been on it since May of this year and he just started his Oct 31st....am I just being too antsy wishing for positive benefits??? Of course I'm very glad he isn't using...but was hoping I wouldn't see such sad choices or decisions when it came to our children...
btw...I have read many of your posts re: you and your boyfriend and children...I hope all is well and glad he has started his sub...and god bless you for standing by him..for him, you and your children
As far as suboxone treatment.....everyone is different. Some people can go on it, then off it in a couple months. Some have to stay on it for a year. Some even longer.
I do NOT at all think his behavior to his kids is at all related to him taking suboxone...or needing to be on suboxone longer to get back to his old self again....or anything like that AT ALL.
I think he was having a bad day and took it out on his kids. Maybe him and his girlfriend are having problems. Maybe he is mad about being sober. Maybe he is using, ran out and is in withdrawl (but i honestly doubt that because he'd take a suboxone to keep him outta withdrawl). I mean, it could be loads of scenarios....but in NO way is it related to suboxone...in my opinion. I just think it's very simple and it's getting complicated because of his addiction.
Can u talk to him about this? And how it is effecting ur kids...especially ur daughter who was crying about this? Or what--the girlfriend wont allow that either?
I do NOT at all think his behavior to his kids is at all related to him taking suboxone...or needing to be on suboxone longer to get back to his old self again....or anything like that AT ALL.
I think he was having a bad day and took it out on his kids. Maybe him and his girlfriend are having problems. Maybe he is mad about being sober. Maybe he is using, ran out and is in withdrawl (but i honestly doubt that because he'd take a suboxone to keep him outta withdrawl). I mean, it could be loads of scenarios....but in NO way is it related to suboxone...in my opinion. I just think it's very simple and it's getting complicated because of his addiction.
Can u talk to him about this? And how it is effecting ur kids...especially ur daughter who was crying about this? Or what--the girlfriend wont allow that either?
What opiates is he abusing? Or was he abusing? Like what pills? And for how long? And how much? Was he taking them by mouth? Snorting them?
thank you so much for your response. As for my daughter who doesn't want to go over like she used to..I will try to get some more clear answers from her. I had considered her age and all, but to be honest she is very much a "loner" type personality. Which was why I didn't see the difference bwtn staying home and going over there. Her friends from school do not live in our neighborhood, so she is pretty much inside unless she goes out to ride her bike or hike...she loves to walk. I will keep trying....
I really don't think he would be abusing the sub...I do worry if they have enough to sustain them both...or if they are taking it as they are suppose to. He has not had to pay rent/mortgage for close to a year now and he still has no money to show for the savings he's had... He still owes me money on the kids...(right now he doesn't have court ordered support), he doesn't have any money to replace his broken cell phone...he has no home phone...and he doesn't have a car payment either. He even told the girls that they would be having to hold off their xmas with him until January sometimes. He is a nurse and works full time time plus at least a day of overtime each week....I just don't get it. I have told him that I think we need to do court ordered support because his finances are such a mess and I don't see a near end when in the next couple of months he will be back to be paying rent again and financially I truly need help with the girls....
As for the girl friend, I have accepted her behaviors and feelings. She has been that way with me/him since they first met...it just isn't going to change. She has bipolar so what ever she does or says...he says its the bipolar. Please don't get me wrong...my mom is bipolar too, I totally understand that..I'm a nurse also...but he makes excuses for her ALOT...I know neither he or I would have allowed my mom to get away with some of the things she has...but I'm just trying to focus on the kids...I know I can't change or help her.
My concern is his changes in mood and sensitivity with my kids. Is that normal after being on sub for two months?? I thought he would be seeing things a little more clearly by now...or is he seeing things more clearly and he just truly doesn't care about them anymore??? They have always been his priority so for him to say he isn't coming to see them anymore...thats huge!!! Does he just need to be on the sub longer until he gets back to himself??? Or is this all that is meant to be???
I really don't think he would be abusing the sub...I do worry if they have enough to sustain them both...or if they are taking it as they are suppose to. He has not had to pay rent/mortgage for close to a year now and he still has no money to show for the savings he's had... He still owes me money on the kids...(right now he doesn't have court ordered support), he doesn't have any money to replace his broken cell phone...he has no home phone...and he doesn't have a car payment either. He even told the girls that they would be having to hold off their xmas with him until January sometimes. He is a nurse and works full time time plus at least a day of overtime each week....I just don't get it. I have told him that I think we need to do court ordered support because his finances are such a mess and I don't see a near end when in the next couple of months he will be back to be paying rent again and financially I truly need help with the girls....
As for the girl friend, I have accepted her behaviors and feelings. She has been that way with me/him since they first met...it just isn't going to change. She has bipolar so what ever she does or says...he says its the bipolar. Please don't get me wrong...my mom is bipolar too, I totally understand that..I'm a nurse also...but he makes excuses for her ALOT...I know neither he or I would have allowed my mom to get away with some of the things she has...but I'm just trying to focus on the kids...I know I can't change or help her.
My concern is his changes in mood and sensitivity with my kids. Is that normal after being on sub for two months?? I thought he would be seeing things a little more clearly by now...or is he seeing things more clearly and he just truly doesn't care about them anymore??? They have always been his priority so for him to say he isn't coming to see them anymore...thats huge!!! Does he just need to be on the sub longer until he gets back to himself??? Or is this all that is meant to be???
Well, hmmmm....tough situation there.
For one....u just have to maintain a positive attitude for your kids...even if u dont feel like it.
I would also probe around with your daughter and find out IF infact there is more going on over there then what u know about. It could just be her age. she may be at that age where she'd rather be home where her friends are or something. all u can do is ask. ask in a clever way.
also, who does this GIRLFRIEND think she is? those are ur kids with ur ex husband. seriously. she is obviously an addict. so is he. your the mom. and the girlfriend is going to call the shots in terms of what u and he are to talk about? uh, his recovery is extremely important and any good mom would want the father of their kids clean....and should be able to discuss his progress with him. she needs a reality check big time.
when u were talking about the sub and u wanna see the bottle. it is normal for couples on sub to share them because they are SO expensive without insurance......if u are worried he is abusing suboxone, he isnt. im sure of it. iv never met someone who abused suboxone.....
For one....u just have to maintain a positive attitude for your kids...even if u dont feel like it.
I would also probe around with your daughter and find out IF infact there is more going on over there then what u know about. It could just be her age. she may be at that age where she'd rather be home where her friends are or something. all u can do is ask. ask in a clever way.
also, who does this GIRLFRIEND think she is? those are ur kids with ur ex husband. seriously. she is obviously an addict. so is he. your the mom. and the girlfriend is going to call the shots in terms of what u and he are to talk about? uh, his recovery is extremely important and any good mom would want the father of their kids clean....and should be able to discuss his progress with him. she needs a reality check big time.
when u were talking about the sub and u wanna see the bottle. it is normal for couples on sub to share them because they are SO expensive without insurance......if u are worried he is abusing suboxone, he isnt. im sure of it. iv never met someone who abused suboxone.....
PS. My children do not know about his addiction. I'm do not want them to think his is a "bad" person because they just misunderstand the illness. I also have not shared this info with my own adult family members because I'm fearful that they will not be understanding to the situation. They have many dislikes of him due to our marriage and I'm fearful this would just add fuel to their fire...which I do not feel that would be fair to him...any advice or help in understand would be appreciated...thanks
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