cincee

[hippy]

it has aslways seemed to me whenever i used everything in my life would go wrong, when i used  i would get flat tires every week.
when i used i got arrested at least 50 times' for things that i was not even part of doing.
i think they call it murphy's law , well it always had a strangle hold on my life ,whenever i  did drugs.
I somtimes thought it was my father praying for me, so i
would say to him stop praying for me , i crashed my car,
lost my job and broke my ankle  that week.

there is the other side of this story, once i started on the
road of staying clean the oppisite happened, everythin that could go right did, instead of spending my money on drugs,
and buying 5 dollar tires at the junk yard  i, bought sears steel belted raidels and never got a flat agian.
i never got arrested agian, inever lost my job agian,
i got custdy of my kids, ect, ece,
when i got clean and went to meetings it was like i was invisible
to the cops, and invisible to bad things coming my way.

i am writing this because  cincee posted that the only na meeting she could find was i the bad lands,in her town
and she would not go there unarmed, well my experence
has always been ,whenever we make that effort or surrender to
go to meetings , we seem to be invisible to trouble.
i grew up in the bad lands in philly so i understand her concern.
when ever i went back to the badlands to start meetings
or attend them i was a little leary but nothing ever happened.
CINCEE -call the na hotlone and ask , there are a lot of meetings not listed , talk to smeone sbout ,in your area.

[Chezz]

Here's a little update in case anybody was wondering.
I am still hurting pretty bad. I am working with my doc to get pain relief, just without the narcotics. So he prescribed a non-narcotic today. Somebody just has to explain that to me once again though. Cause I am pretty "stoned". Can't think very well and am more f$^@ up than I ever felt with the pain meds. Except for one thing, it DOESN'T do **** for the PAIN. So I am messed up and still hurting. Yet it isn't a narcotic?!?!?!?!?
So those started swirling the bowl after about a half hour after I took the 1st one.
I haven't gotten much sleep in the last 3 days. The pain in my lower leg get intense at night. It feels like somebody is sqeezing the **** out of my calf, and the front part is numb. Today it switched sides. With pain shooting down the front part of the other shin. This, plus the regular shooting pain down the thigh/leg.
I did finally get an okay for my epidurals. They are going to do it soon. The only bumber is, last timeit took 3 sets over 6 months before they worked. That or I healed on my own with the help of phys. ther.
So I hope soon enough I find a combination that works.
Chezz

[bmac]

everyone is right about the sex drive thing.I was taking methadone and it kills the sex drive.All opites do eventually.
That will come back to life(pun intended)When it does you'll
be saying(how do I put this)It won't go away if you understand me.My wife is like put that thing up please.LOL
Hang in there 15 out of 21 days is great.Almost there.Then you can start working on your relationship.I have been high ever since I met my wife in 1994.This is the first time since we met I have been straight.I found out just how much I love her
now that I don't have a crutch.She still isn't too happy about
my secret little abuse and it has made her question our marriage but if it can't with stand this then it wasn't right to begin
with.Just keep working on day 22.That's when the S*$# will hit the fan mentally.Hang tuff and don't worry about your 'friend',he will make it thru this too.(pun intended again)
                                 peace,
                                  bmac

[Chezz]

people here are already addicted to it. So I am not going to post it.
Thanks for the concern. I was a little bumbed on Fri. when I NEEDED you guys and nobody seemed to be their for me. So I just decided to take a rest from here. As could see from my posts, I was DESPERATE for help that day. (Just being honest)
I haven't been able to do much either since it has hurt so much. It is a pain, literally, to get in here to email and post. So I get in and get out.
I hope everybody else is doing alright. Glad to you are back Sean. And that you are following through now.
What happened to Synderalla's post last night. I posted back to it (so did Alexis) and the original message disappeared?!?!?!


Thanks for Worrying,
Chezz

[suzieneedshelp]

This has been a grrrrreat thread!   Thank you to all who have contributed their precious pieces of their lives and hearts and minds. I need to find a group..either na or aa. Ive been advised that aa is better for me. But i would appreciate all of your opinions.  I do not have alcohol problem.  Although ive had at least 2 beers every night for the last month.  Anyway take care of all yourselves.  Life is soo precious.  This is our one and only chance.  We've already screwed it up so far.. so now we can chose to go to the mountain top.  Seek love and be kind to your fellow man.
Suzie

[koalabear]

Would you mind posting your email address so that I may talk with you in private about Bup?  Thanks.
Leah

[CinCee]

I am sorry you felt that way on Friday.  I was not home for the evening.  Also, I often just really don't know what to say when someone is suffering as much as you and there's nothing I can do to help.

Your posts have helped me a lot during this whole past week.  Thanks.