cincee

[hippy]

it has aslways seemed to me whenever i used everything in my life would go wrong, when i used  i would get flat tires every week.
when i used i got arrested at least 50 times' for things that i was not even part of doing.
i think they call it murphy's law , well it always had a strangle hold on my life ,whenever i  did drugs.
I somtimes thought it was my father praying for me, so i
would say to him stop praying for me , i crashed my car,
lost my job and broke my ankle  that week.

there is the other side of this story, once i started on the
road of staying clean the oppisite happened, everythin that could go right did, instead of spending my money on drugs,
and buying 5 dollar tires at the junk yard  i, bought sears steel belted raidels and never got a flat agian.
i never got arrested agian, inever lost my job agian,
i got custdy of my kids, ect, ece,
when i got clean and went to meetings it was like i was invisible
to the cops, and invisible to bad things coming my way.

i am writing this because  cincee posted that the only na meeting she could find was i the bad lands,in her town
and she would not go there unarmed, well my experence
has always been ,whenever we make that effort or surrender to
go to meetings , we seem to be invisible to trouble.
i grew up in the bad lands in philly so i understand her concern.
when ever i went back to the badlands to start meetings
or attend them i was a little leary but nothing ever happened.
CINCEE -call the na hotlone and ask , there are a lot of meetings not listed , talk to smeone sbout ,in your area.

[Thomas02]

Your pain doc, huh? What's his e-mail addy? I'll send him a bill and offer to take it out in trade. I know just what he can do for me. I'm sure I'd get a wopping bill if things were reversed!

As for famous, I'll know that when I get a parking space next to Famous Amos.

Thanks for the "plug," my friend. 'Impressed as always with your clean time. Peace unto you.

Thomas

[Thomas02]

So, compadre, you got to examine your stomach contents in detail? I guess you won't be cheating on the bup detox! You got off to a rocky start, that's for sure. I think things will dramatically improve for you in the next couple days. People really rave about that stuff. I know it's hateful to be stuck at work during this. It's such a strain to try to act normal while coming apart from the inside out. Since you've already hurled, why not come down with the flu for the next few days? That would make it a bit easier to go through this on duty. You might even get some martyr points.

I liked your post about your kids. When I read that I knew you'd make it. And the guilt just goes with the territory. That's why 12-step groups make amends. It's a good way to begin to forgive yourself.

Thomas

[athena]

You both expressed the sadness of addiction and withdrawl so well.Im sorry that you are both still feeling so down.This is day 10 for me (off hydro) and I have been feeling kind of depressed off and on.I know that it will get better for all of us.I just wanted you to know that you are both in my thoughts and prayers.

pixi

[Thomas02]

I can tell you're sober. Your writing is crystal clear. Roll on!

Thomas

[CinCee]

What a writer you are!  Really well-expressed your feelings.  My heart aches for you, but also feels joy, because I KNOW it will get better from here.

You're entitled to wallow a bit on your first day, but don't go too far.  I don't want to sound mean, but there is an addiction issure with feeling sorry for yourself.

Just remember, you're starting.  You're doing it.  You've made the right choice.  Tomorrow may be sh@#, but it WILL be better than today.  I know, I was just there last week.

[CinCee]

No, not from Cincinatti.