Aa
I'm surviving...just tired!
In 5.5 hours, I will be starting my 5th day sober from Oxycontin & my 4th day sober from Norco. Most of the painful physical withdrawals are gone & were gone all day today. I have a little pain in my lower back & I've been taking Aleve for that. I only had 2 panic attacts today. I feel I'm still pretty emotional. But the thing that's bothering me the most is 0 sleep in 3 days! I'm so exhausted but my dr said I can't take sleeping pills with the clonidine. I've tried Valerian root & melatonin, & still can't seem to fall asleep. I was hoping to make it to class at 8 am, but I just don't think its gonna happen. I'm going to save my energy for my 4 pm interview. I hope I don't get emotional during it haha! I don't think I ever said, but I've had a Norco pill laying next to my head on my nightstand these past 4 days & not even once did I ever have the urge/desire to take it...not even during my most intense pain. I kept the remainder of my prescription too...never flushed it. Never had the desire to take one. I gave them all to my fiance today & told him "here, take these & hide them really good, I don't want them. Use them for your back when its hurting bad." I'm not worried about him abusing. For 3 years he's had a script to get 60 a month but that bottle will literally last him an entire year. So yeah, not even worried bout that. But it felt good to just say, "here, take these" & not have any anxiety or regrets about giving them away. I also went to my parents house yesterday & it was nice not having to worry, "make sure I got my pills."
kk:
Congrats on getting through the interview, and good luck getting the job. And keep in mind, if for some strange reason you don't get the job, it is not the end of the world.
As far as sleep goes, Lulu is right, as usual. Not only will you get sleep when you need it, albeit broken up in to an hour here, three hours there, your body will quickly adjust to the lack of sleep. I didn't sleep well last night; don't know why, just didn't. I made myself go to the gym, and did fine. Full day of work too. And, at the end of the day I was proud of myself for pushing through and not staying home. You went to the interview in the midst of your detox, so that tells me you've got a backbone - you'll do fine adjusting to the limited sleep. It will get better, as you know. Great job.
Congrats on getting through the interview, and good luck getting the job. And keep in mind, if for some strange reason you don't get the job, it is not the end of the world.
As far as sleep goes, Lulu is right, as usual. Not only will you get sleep when you need it, albeit broken up in to an hour here, three hours there, your body will quickly adjust to the lack of sleep. I didn't sleep well last night; don't know why, just didn't. I made myself go to the gym, and did fine. Full day of work too. And, at the end of the day I was proud of myself for pushing through and not staying home. You went to the interview in the midst of your detox, so that tells me you've got a backbone - you'll do fine adjusting to the limited sleep. It will get better, as you know. Great job.
KK
It's amazing what a little hair and makeup can do(:....Good for you for day 5...I hear what you're saying about your situation but I also echo the wise words of the people above me...You've come so far-you want to set your up to be successful and reclaim your life...Your life is worth it...
Be patient with the sleep...Your body will sleep when it needs to (trust me I learn this one every day)
Keep up the awesome work...Lu
It's amazing what a little hair and makeup can do(:....Good for you for day 5...I hear what you're saying about your situation but I also echo the wise words of the people above me...You've come so far-you want to set your up to be successful and reclaim your life...Your life is worth it...
Be patient with the sleep...Your body will sleep when it needs to (trust me I learn this one every day)
Keep up the awesome work...Lu
Just got back from the interview & I think it went well. I should know by tomorrow if I got the job. I kept panicking about the interview all day...glad its over. Its a big weight off my shoulders. It was the first thing I've done out of the house since Sunday. It felt good to put on make up & actually brush my hair today haha! Just want some damn sleep! Grrr
kk:
Congratulations on another day. And good luck on your interview this afternoon - you'll do fine.
Just a comment on the pills in the house thing...As you've been reading on this site, most of us have used, stopped, used, stopped, etc., for many years, and took all sorts of meds. Over time we've come to recognize our addiction, our weakness, and have had to admit that we have no control over our desire to take/abuse meds. The thought of having pills in the house is something I couldn't deal with, especially early on in my detox, and the majority of other people who abused meds are the same way. That's why they strongly suggested you flush the pills. However, if you feel that you are strong enough not to be tempted, even down the road when the "what would just one hurt?" thought creeps in to your head, then good for you. I'm also a recovering boozer, haven' t had a drink in 23 years, and I have no problem with my wife having a glass of wine, and having the wine in the house. Unfortunately for me, I can't do that with pills.
Congratulations on another day. And good luck on your interview this afternoon - you'll do fine.
Just a comment on the pills in the house thing...As you've been reading on this site, most of us have used, stopped, used, stopped, etc., for many years, and took all sorts of meds. Over time we've come to recognize our addiction, our weakness, and have had to admit that we have no control over our desire to take/abuse meds. The thought of having pills in the house is something I couldn't deal with, especially early on in my detox, and the majority of other people who abused meds are the same way. That's why they strongly suggested you flush the pills. However, if you feel that you are strong enough not to be tempted, even down the road when the "what would just one hurt?" thought creeps in to your head, then good for you. I'm also a recovering boozer, haven' t had a drink in 23 years, and I have no problem with my wife having a glass of wine, and having the wine in the house. Unfortunately for me, I can't do that with pills.
If ur fiancé geta his own script, I dont think it makes a difference if he has her pills or not. Something will still be in the house. Congrats on having meds in the house and not taking them. I would not be able to do that.
...and when I say I ate 2 meals during detox, I meant to say 2 meals a day. I really pushed myself, guys. I'm a strong willed person & anyone that knows me will tell u the same.
I gave the pills to my fiance bc he actually needs them for his back...& he will take like 2 a month only when he's in so much pain he can't move. I have 100% trust in him that he will never give me one. I think I will be ok bc my situation is a little different. I was prescribed all my meds bc of my bladder disease. I just kept having to take higher & higher doses over the past 2 years bc u all know how dependency works. I never took my pills at a certain time each day like a lot of u say u do. I took mine when I was hurting. I never lied or stealed to get more. I dunno, but I feel like my situation was a little different than most people's on here. You also don't know how strong willed I am about stuff. I was feeling better by day 3 (which according to most everyone else, was suppose to be my worst day.) I made myself eat at least 2 meals during detox. I didn't have an appetite, of course, but I sat there & ate. I still had more of my prescription left when I decided Sunday, "you know what? I'm tired of my life/well-being revoling around these pills." I'm going to an acupuncturist & drinking a prescribed mixture of herbs to help with the pain of my bladder disease. I don't think y'all understand that I DON'T want the pills & I never really did. When my dr first prescribed them I told her how afraid I was of getting "accidicted." She said its natural to get a dependency so that made me feel justified enough to start taking them. A year & a half later I just stop & look at how much my monthly prescription has increased & I say, "no more! I'm not going to keep taking these to where I look back & its 5 or 10 years later & I'm taking 30 pills a day." So I just don't think y'all understand where I'm coming from. When I first found this forum, everyone was offering words of encouragement, & it really helped! Now I feel reluctant to keep getting on this forum to see responses bc a lot have been negative things like telling me, "no, ur gonna give in!" What kind of encouragement is that? I know y'all are trying to be honest but its coming off in quite a negative way. Not everyone is the same...I may be one of those people who doesn't "cave" or "give in to temptation" so don't assume that I will be.
Like gnarly said,,whats the point in keeping them if you are not going to use anymore?? Trust us when we say that you need to flush the pills. You feel good now,,but that addiction in our brain will rear its ugly head again,,its not gone,,,not yet. You have to watch for landmines and keep your gaurd up,,,I noticed that when I started feeling better,,,my addicted brain would say things like " I can handle a pill here and there" or if i got into a stressful situation my immed instinct was to grab the pills,,,it happens sooo fast you dont even realize what you are doing. I personally do not know of any of us that was able to stay sober by having a bottle of pills available. Please reconsider dumping the pills,,,you rationalize now that they are locked up but trust me when I say they wont stay locked up,,we can get very manipulative when we need to and will do anything to get those pills. Congrats on 7 days,,,I am 71days today and I still deal with the mental part daily. It definatly didnt go away yet and it wont esp inn 7 days.~Bkitty
YAY!! Your doing great! Keep it up, You got this! Make sure your fiancé holds steady. One day at a time.
hi first things first GEWT RID IF THE PILLS if there is one thing I know about addicts is we will use mabe not today or tomorrow but there will come a time where we will reason ourselfs back into using as addicts we need to change the very way we think and reason are best thinking got us here
this is not an optioal thing trust me I have done this forum for over 2yr you will use the pills if there there congrats on your clean time now its time to clean house......Gnarly
this is not an optioal thing trust me I have done this forum for over 2yr you will use the pills if there there congrats on your clean time now its time to clean house......Gnarly
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