drank this weekend

Question

hi i had a slip this weekend i was downhill sking and thier are bars ever where at ski areas well i didnt think i was going to drink but i the idea of having a drink  got the beter of me and i had onley two long islands on saturday  and three of sunday i know that i would have had a lot more if i hadnet been with my mom at hotel. i m feeling so sad and bad. i couldnt stop my self from drink i batteled the urge for hours but lost. i feel so hopless i just cant stop drinking i already been thinking about drinking tomrow and its appiling then i can kill the pain and fear with alchol. i just hate life now, its a nightmare when oh when will stop being so stupid. i hate hate my life and my self. 
david r

sway1 · Answer

the fact that it bothers you so much means that want a better life deep down inside. you deserve that better life. no, it won't be easy. the good stuff rarely is but it will be so worth it.please keep trying. keep posting. maybe just mention at the coffee urn at the next meeting you go to that you are in need of a sponsor, you know, get it out there. you may not get one right away, but you will probably get a handle on ways of finding the right one. shoot even the wrong one can do in a pinch. fill that sheet with phone numbers and use them. i know it's hard to call strangers at first. but hey, what's the worst that can happen? you are worth saving man. i'll be praying for you.     sway

SophieShine · Answer

hey david,
you are not all you said, you are a human being worth having a good life. the booze is in MHO one of the most difficult addiction to fight coz it's everywhere, but you did half of the work by coming on here, admitting your addiction and opening to all of us, Now how courageous is that? YOU CAN AND YOU WILL DO THIS. make a lot of friends here and you'll get a lot of support. and get your but in an AA meeting.lol. xxx.sophie.

mojorisin64 · Answer

hey david,everybody here has a drug that tries to control them...and even tho you drank,it wasnt 15 long islands...you did control yourself..if there were oxy bars i dont know if i would have been able to stop at 2...and i would have found a way even if my mom had been with me lol...the more you read here the more you will see that there is no perfect recovery,if there was there wouldnt be much to talk about...stay strong and keep posting,

10356 · Answer

Hi david.. my name is lesa.. you are not stupid worthless or any of the self defeating words you are using against yourself.. You are a person helpless in front of there addiction.. welcome to the forum.. we all are helpless in front of our addiction.. you are not alone.. You have coe to a good place for support.. I'm clean from alcohol 13mo. tomorrow and you will find many much longer then that..  so please do not feel alone ok.. Good job on getting rid of the booze we never fail unless we stop trying.. if you ever need support a friend what ever contact me.. warmly lesa

cathy5841 · Answer

you can do this but you will have to make some changes. you wont be able to associate wil booze pr ppl who drink booze. dont go to bars...dont have alchohol in your house, dont go to bars, and commit to meetings...and then go to meetings...if you had cancer your would take radiation or chemo to protect yourself from the disease progressing right? well think of those meetings as your chemo....i know that is not a very good example, but if you dont stop you will die...sooner or later...so start making those changes

gizzy32 · Answer

Make some friends here, i know it will help you. Stay strong!

gizzy32 · Answer

I am so glad to hear from you. Addiction makes us feel hopeless, worthless and sad, but you can stop man. The fact you dumped the bottles says deep down you don't want this. You have to come up with a plan or other way to stop. What do you think would help the most? When you crave a drink you need to admit it and get help cause your right, YOU CAN'T AND WON'T do this alone. You also just admitted your powerless so your thinking on the right track. If you need someone to talk to, we are here ok. Addiction wants us weak david, it wants us to die so it's time to dig deep, pray and get some help, your worth it man. NO MORE BOOZE!!!

davidr714 · Answer

hi i drank again yesterday but dumped the rest of the booz out before i went to bed. i dumped it out because i dont want to die of this addiction it will kill me and i dont want to die. i am powerless and i cant beet this alone. i know i need a sponsor but i not been able to find one my anxiety makes it hard for me to ask for one. anyway i had sponsors before. i dont know how i can stop drinking. i know i need to stay stoped. i need to make friends at aa but i am not good at makeing friends i have only one friend and he is from highschool. i dont really have anyone to talk. my psycholigist is no help he doesnt understant me. im sorry for rabling it just seems any time i make progress i go and drink again.
david r

cathy5841 · Answer

i think you should get back to the meetings.  the sooner the better.  you do not have to continue to drink.  it is YOUR choice...you can do this, but you have to work at it to stay sober.

gizzy32 · Answer

You are not hopeless david. You were sober almost 3 weeks I think right? It's simple what happened, being around alcohol is a HUGE trigger for you, just as cocaine is for me. When I see it, I shake, my mind instantly changes into something I can't explain. People, places and things right. Of course these thoughts are gonna be stronger now, you just fed your addiction and it gained strength, but you are here posting and fighting. Please get yourself back to those meetings, force yourself if you have to. Your not stupid, you are completely powerless just as I am. Don't set yourself up for this again david, it was just a tiny step back so keep moving forward.  YOU CAN STOP DRINKING!