hi ppl messed up

[hydrokid]

How you all doing I didn't post any thing yesterday because I messed up and wasent gonna post today because I feel guilty if anyone remembers I was originally taking 10-15 hydro 10s a day I tried to quit got sick the next day I took 6 then then sat I took 1 in two halfs and I felt good so I was gonna continue 1 a day for a few days then quit well yesterday I took 4 but didn't get high I felt the same as when I took 1 I think in my case it dosent matter if I take 15-5 or 1 I'm not getting hi I'm just not feeling sick the problem is taking 0. I took 1 today and feel fine I'm gonna try just a 1/2 tomorrow and see what happens

[petroglyph54]

That's the nature of our disease and the pattern of narcotic use. It always starts out small, feels good and like other drugs, we continue to chase that first hi. Larger and larger doses wanting to recapture that original moment. Bigger doses, maybe think we got it back but we know, it just ain't so. But the desire is still there, underlying, somewhere back in our minds. It's the drug's and the disease talking, whispering, pretending to help us rationalize, "one more time". And again and again and again. More and more, just can't quite get hi like the first time. Does any of that sound familiar? I believe the national convention for n/a is coming soon in San Diego? Expected to be over 4000 participants with years of clean time, celebrating sobriety. One time they all thought they could handle it. I ran my game for decades, and I'm not ashamed at all. Any guilt, we put on ourselves because we are just basically good people with a problem, a disease,which can't be cured but can be kept in remission. It ain't easy, but it's simple. One day at a time, one hour or minute at a time if you have to. Your contacts won't disrespect you for wanting to get straight, regardless of what they say. For some it's just business, other's are suffering just like you are. The road ahead only splits so many ways. One is to get your life back, the other, not so much. Get a plan, check out n/a, it's free. Work it, make 'em all look up to you and when your clean or on the right path, maybe you can help someone else? Good luck

[udoschoices]

That's your biggest problem man- where you live, Houston or S.Florida?  I had to cut all ties and block numbers as well as not talk to people with access like that. It is very hard to resist on your own. Took me 5 years to figure that out and up to 30-35 10s a day at the end. I go to AA everyday now and had to do whatever it took to break free so depends on how bad you want it. Otherwise you end up on the merry-go-round.  Hang in there

[hydrokid]

Great now I'm a addict and a nut job just kidding I know what you mean it also dosent help as soon as I walk out of the house there's 10 different ppl with hydros for sale not a bad neighborhood just a way of life around here I guess

[udoschoices]

They finally let me out if the asylum ;)

[dede2121]

amen sara.

[dominosarah]

Definition of insanity----Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome.     sara

[ANewLife4Me]

Hi,
By now as you've figured out, it doesn't matter if you take 1, 5, or 10, they no longer get you high.  I think you either need to stick to a taper and have somebody dole the pills out to you as it's almost impossible for an addict to quit on their own by holding pills and tapering, or - just go cold turkey.  Flush what you have and buckle down and go for it!