Im into day 20!! But...did something soooo stupid!!

[findmyway]

I feel so awful, I almost cant say it.  Boy, our addictive minds, along with satan himself, are soooo very sick, and tricky.  Well thank God, Im still opiate clean, this is day 20 for me, but I have been 7yrs clean of alcohol, and crack, until this Sat!  I am so ashamed for drinking myself into a drunken stupor this weekend.  i was just feeling sooo good, then BAM outta no where, I decided to go see a dear friend of mine that I had stopped hanging around, but she lost her only son a year ago, then about 5 months ago she lost her mom, then 3 months later lost her Dad, then 2 monts later she lost her brother!.  I felt so strong, and my mind was so strong, I just knew I could be of support for her.  I will not blame it completely on her, because I decided to take that first drink.  Anyway, Im still a little dazzed, but back on track.  I had a weak moment which turned into a nightmare.  Im just thanking God it had nothing to do with pills.  I just can not believe I let myself do that, after 7yrs!!!  Well we live and we learn.  Thank God I do not have cravings for the alcohol, and do not wish to drink ever again.  So Im still clean from opiates, but relapsed on A drug that I put out of my life 7 *** years ago.  I am really very sad, and ashamed, but must brush myself off, and get back on track.  Cannot do anything about yesterday, just gotta forget it happened, and move forward.  *** I am soooooo upset with myself.

[Ann2497]

I am glad you are getting back on track.  At least you didn't take any pills.

[Back2Me]

I think being off the pills also had something to do with it. It's like clockwork for me I hardly ever drink but give about 2 weeks clean or so and I am drinking like a FISH! And I mean like every time I detox, which now is just too many times to talk about. But yes the alcohol cravings hit me HARD and I don't even drink.

[dominosarah]

You gotta keep your guard up, even with alcohol.  Dont spend alot of time beating yourself up over this.  Hard lesson to learn but you did and that is what is important.  Time to really dig into your recovery now.  sara

[findmyway]

Well thanks for the congrads, even tho I dont feel very victorious right now.  Guess that might have been part of the problem, I got to confidant.  i really felt very good, considering all I went thru to get to this point off of them pills.  So I probly let it go to my head.  Anyways, I have no intentions of doing that again.  I still feel the effects of all that alcohol.  I guess subcontiously, My body and mind wanted something, especially since I was not feeding it the pills huh.  I swear to God, I really dont truly understand how that just happened to me, I never had a weak moment like that in 7 years!!!  i am really disappointed in myself, but also confused, i dont know how that happened.  But I will get over the shame, Im back on track now, and again...I thank god It wasnt the pills!  I have no desire, and have not had any desire to drink or drug in 7yrs. besides the pills.  So I'll be ok.

[paleflower]

Don't beat yourself up, we all slip and fall, the most important thing is to learn from our mistakes and don't go back to our old ways. Congrats on 20 days free of pills!

[gnarly_1]

it ez to become cross addicted or substitute something else for our DOC you have to be mindful and you cant hanfg around toxic people if they user you need to break tyes no mater how long you know somebody or stuff like this will happen alcohol is a tuff one for me to my mouth waters at the sight of whiskey bottles and its been 6yr7mo since I have had a drink I dont think it ever goes away just distance yourself from those that use I know it s u c k s with good friends but your addiction is out to kill you keep that in mind
good luck and God bless.......Gnarly  

[ricart70]

Don't be so hard on yourself.You will be ok.Just don't drink anymore.You'll be fine.Great job on the 20 days.