getting clean without honesty

[notgoingdown]

my ah is clean right now... i am sure of it. not sure what brought this on but a couple days ago he said he hadnt had a pill in a few days and that he wasnt going to take any more. i am sure that he is clean right now and he seems to mean it when he says he is done. the thing is that he is still guarding his secrets... not being honest about how long since, how often or how many and still maintains that he never took anything other than vics. i asked him about the roxys and if he was sure he never took them. he did say that someone gave him 1/2 of one once but that he gave it back. i didnt tell him i had found them on him several times.

is it possible that he could manage to get off of these without being honest about the seriousness of it? i keep hearing the saying only as sick as the secrets and it scares me. but he is definately old school and would never be the kind to admit mistakes or ask for help or talk about it... about anything so this isnt really out of character. i just wonder if this type of personality means he will buck up and kick this on his own or that he will relapse till he steps out of his comfort zone to get aftercare.

i know no one can predict what will happen in his situation just asking for opinions from those who tried to quit and still keep secrets.

[martikadragoon]

personally... to me, he could be hiding the worst of the w/d, and I know that until I was ready to tell the whole truth I would say I took around 1/2 of what I actually took. When I took soma I could easily take 8 at a time (2800)... and i'd tell DH I only took 3...

It wasn't until I could admit I was having problems with it that I admitted I routinely took that many.

[notgoingdown]

thanks all.
not sure on his usage but i would guess under 80 mg of hydro a day. i think on days he took the roxys he took 1/2 of a 30 mg morning and evening so total of 30 mg a day. again all this is a guess based on what i was able to find.
my big worry is because his main source of pills is out of town right now and i am wondering if this is just cause he doesnt have access to them.
i have seen SOME wd's... sleeplessness, rls, sneezing. he says he feels pretty good. when i reminded him that we have immodium in the cabinet if he needs it he said he hasnt had that problem. it doesnt seem bad. if not for the fact that his pupils have been normal sized for the first time in a year i would wonder if he was just cutting back till his guy gets back in town. guess that begs the question will tapering cause pupils to get large in low light. i know it will bring on mild wd's but in addition to him seeming really 'clear' for a few days the pupils was what cinched it for me.

[Trying_hard19]

My wife knew I had a pain killer problem but had no idea to what extent.. She did not know what I was using or how much..  

I didn't tell her the truth until day 2 of Detox.. She was telling me she was calling 911 and I asked her to hang up and sit down..

Telling the truth was liberating.. it gave me a sense of freedom. It was also very hard to bring myself to do it.

  I wish you the best in your situation.

[GA Guy]

Secrets keep us sick. To think otherwise is a symptom of the active disease.

[taperme]

I'm going to ditto Vicki. My husband had no idea the extent of my use. He knew I was on painkillers but not the extent or how often...they were dr. prescribed. I came clean to him when I decided to taper and quit them on my own. I know I never could have done it without telling him. And in all honesty, we have probably been closer than in years because of that. Wow...just this minute realized that. Cool! I hope your husband will talk to you.

[vicki595]

Does it appear that he has gone through any kind of withdrawals? Feeling flu like?
Do you know if his use was daily?
I feel for you...I think you may just have to watch closely and look for signs of withdrawals.
Personally,I kept my addiction a secret for a very long time. I got away with it. But,when it came time to stop,I told my husband. I knew I needed to be honest if I was ever going to make it.  I've made it so far...   Our secrets do keep us sick...and the pills make it so much easier...

Vicki