im so ******,im trying and trying,its like im possessed,one more ,,just one more,,i hide it ,no one knows.but its killing me inside,,i go to work ,i do everything,,my home is flawless,everyone talk about how good i look,exept im falling apart (so skinny) im afraid im going to die or loose my mind,im trying soo hard to be the perfect housewife and hiding my **** at the same time,,i cant take this,everytime i smile and pretend im such a fff good wife and a housewife,,i want to brake in tears..and just cry,im so helpless and longly,,i dont dare tell anyone,im so ashamed,when i decide ok,,tomorrow only coffee for you girl,,i get this horrid feelings like something is wrong,,i cant relax or enjoy anything,,i JUST CANT feel like normal ,exept i have some little alch in me,what can i do ,i dont want rehab,and i dont want to tell anyone,(if youve seen despered housewifes,yes im the red haired one)im a perfectionist.but i KNOW i need help.Can i do this by myself.is there a way.?? pls anyone???