hour one is here

[Me1025]

Well here goes nothing, I'm done with the oxy's and I'm scared. I took my last oxy 5hrs ago and going from so much to nada is scary. I have noone to talk to, noone that that understands. All my family sees is that this is just another "thing" with Mel. They have been down this road with me before and are reluctant to go down it with me again. They think I have chosen this, and in a way i suppose I have, but I def didn't choose to have this chronic pain. I did everything the doctors told me to do, tried every alternative presented to me and found on my own my doing research but I seem to be the small percentage of the pts that don't respond to treatment. I've been through the recovery before with cocaine and that's still a struggle to this day and I've been off coke for 7yrs. Will the cycle ever stop? What's gonna give this time around? Coke was a recreational, oxy's never were so how did this happen. Nevertheless, its time to start over again. I can't live in the past and why did I do this or why didn't I do that, I can only learn from the past and hope that it will make my future better. it has to, i have no other options.

[Me1025]

I'm going crazy, the abd cramping, sleeplessness, pain in every bone in my body! I feel like I may break if someone touch's me. My family treats me as if I don't exist making this that much worse...I guess if you avoid something long enough it will go away...I haven't eaten in days & I'm not even into the withdrawals full blown yet, I can't do this, can I??

[Dav125]

Do you have some immodium? If not, get it or get someone to get it for you..The lack of eating with the possible stomach/bathroom problems will dehydrate you fast..Make toast if you have to. Try to eat something..Need to change that last statement you made too : I can do this,,can't I?  Heck yeah you can...No fun at all but fight for these next three days with everything you've got..Try deparately not to think too much about the feelings..The more you dwell in them the worse things are..Same as laying in the bed too long staring at the ceiling. Get up and move around some. Even if its a lap around the living room..Stand strong..This is a battle to take your life back..

[Me1025]

No immodium, no need yet. I'm trying to get down some tea..I can't get comfortable, the blankets are either to heavy or not warm enough. This is hell!!

[Dav125]

Your darn right it is..Get some immodium though..Really..the first two times I didn't appreciate what it could do for a person except at the tail end of the second round. This past round that started for me Dec 31st I had it on hand as I knew the value of it..Please get some if you can...And keep the fluids going along with what food you can eat even if its toast. If the stomach problems hit, they need something to "move" if you catch my drift..Diarrehea on an empty stomach makes things ten times worse..No Lie..

[Me1025]

Is anyone out there, I'm really struggling to hang on here

[Me1025]

I just need to hear that there is someone out there that has chronic pain & is able to live life without narcotics. To top it off my pelvic pain/problems are flaring up & I'm in excruciating pull out my hair pain. I want this, I need this but I'm having a hard time seeing the light at the end of the tunnel