how to deal.....

[troubled1122]

iv'e been addicted to prescription pain meds for 2 yrs. now.as many as 6 to 10 a day.iv'e decided to quit and went to my dr.and told her EVERYTHING.she wrote me a prescrption for percocet and gave me a tapering schedule.needless to say....i haven't followed it very well.down to my last 5 and having anxiety.....not sure why though.i def. want to stop,and wondering if tapering is just dragging out the inevidable or should i just go cold turkey and get it over with.my dr. said i could go cold turkey,it wouldn't kill me,but asked me why i wanted to quit which struck me as odd.not sure what i'm asking but any advice would be greatly appreciated! my boyfriend seem to think if i taper i'll be fine in a week,which is unrealistic to me,but i'm just worried about how bad and how long it will last....

[troubled1122]

i am not making excuses.we've had that talk.....but he is now trying to group me in with his exes..... sometimes...when he gets frustrated. plus he hates pain pillls because of what his exs put him thru....he almost lost his house because of them.....they never went through wihdrawls because they never tried to quit so he hasn't seen what it does to you.he is still trying to come to grips with it also,hes mostley very supportive,but he has his moments where he gets angry for me letting myself get this way.thats when the "just quit and you will be fine" comes in.we had another talk last nite because i didnt take hardley anything yesterday and he atually saw me in withdrawls.....and now he said he sees what i mean,and was so nice to me and trying to help,even though theres nothing he can do..it changed his tune because he acually got to see it.took some xanax lastnite to sleep,which ive had a script fot that for 7 yrs for anxiety attacks,and never abused,downers were never my thing,only took those when i had an attack.feel pretty good this morning! still feel withdrawls.....but i'm keeping busy and pushing it.IT WILL BE A GOOD DAY! plus i dont have anymore of the drug....took em all....so its on.whatever i go thru is i'm just gonna have to grin and bear it.keep telling myself it will not kill me....but make me stronger as a person.he is supportive,just upset,which is totally understandable.he always told me if i ever took that mess i would leave his house because he was drug thru the ringer by percocets at the hands of somebody else.almost lost his house,but with them it was a combo of percs and cocaine.he said hes just proud of me because i wasnt like them.....there still addicted and dont want to quit.at least i was trying to do something about it and went to my dr. for help.he understands.....it's just hard for him also because i hid my addiction for 2 years fom him.when i finally broke down an told him he said he already knew.he was just waiting to se if i would ever tell him.so we've talked.he DOES understand....he just has his moments of frustration as well.i know what its like to try and hide it.i went thru withdrawls a year ago and told him i had the flu...but fell off the wagon.i hope you can make it this time! it is the most difficult thing ive ever come across...but the advice helps so much.just to talk to others that are there with me does a world of good! i hope and pray that you make it through this time!

[Storme]

You say you can't justify going through withdrawals to your husband? Why not? He is your husband and he loves you. Tell him what's happening to you and what is going to happen when you stop but that you NEED to stop this vicious cycle of addiction you are on. I am certain that even though he may be freaked by it all, he will stand by you and help you through this. You are just making excuses to continue taking the drug and you know it sweetheart. Take a deep breath and go and tell him now, please.

[ohtolove]

yeah man i hear that. when ever i make a plan to taper, i freak out and get wasted and take 10 in one day, and then i have to go get more, ands its crazy, i also feel when i take just one i am wasting it, and that my last few times using were lame and not right because i was not totally euphoric and in it. but on the other hand the withdraw is so bad that i can never make it threw. day 2 or 3 i always find pills.i have a husband who does not know whats going on, so i can not just lay down and wait it out like i used to when i lived on my own. so that makes it hard for me to have any kind of bad w/d. honestly dont know how im going to taper because right now i have 15 pills and i know when i wake up tomorrow i will take 3. i have to take 3 in the morning so i feel high for a couple of hours, then i just maintain with a pill here and there threw out the day. so that means if im going to taper down i cant take my morning 3 and thats hard. but i guess i have to get it together because like i said i cant justify bad w/d to my husband, and go threw them with 100 things to get done everyday. and by the way, i am doing soooo much better than i used to be iv cut back A LOT. but never really got threw to the end. maybe this time?

[StillLost21]

When it comes to tapering versus stopping cold turkey, I always stop cold turkey. I have never been able to taper. If I have them my head always comes up with some reason why I should do more now, or even just do all of them now. Sometimes i'll convince myself that there is no point in tapering, that if i'm gonna be using I might as well be going all out and getting super high, like one last bang before stopping. Whatever the reason is, my head always comes up with something to justify taking more in the moment. With cold turkey though I prepare myself mentally, that I am stopping. Not taking a little bit for the next week, but just all out stopping. With tapering, I find that although you avoid full on wd's you're not getting high, mentally you don't feel the euphoria, and for me personally, something about tapering, I don't feel as good about a taper plan, as I do when i've stopped, and can go to bed and think, "today I did not use," versus, "today I used less, and soon I will be stopping" however this is just me personally, and I have no judgements towards somebody who tapers, as long as you're trying to stop, that is really all that matters I believe. Anyways, you can fight through the wd, it won't kill you, and each day you're sober you will feel a bit better. So that's my opinion, I hope you find a way that works for you!

[troubled1122]

i tried weening before,and just about had it licked...when a "friend" came over and said i looked like i felt like hell,which i did,and gave me a 15mg percocet.and here i went again.and even with weening,i still felt withdrawls.feels just like the flu.but i'm tired of the cycle of craving,depending,and spending my $! i hate the day i ever put one of those things in my mouth......and when i'm done with this,i don't ever want another one unless i'm in the hospital for something major like a car wreck,surgery or absolutley necessary! and dont really want it then.....

[ohtolove]

man this is so funny that you guys are going threw the same thing as me. i want to tell my doctor about my problem, tho im sure he already knows... he gives me 30 7.5 vicodin with a refill every couple of weeks, but i guess the fiend in me does not want to ruin my future high possibility's. i am DONE being dependent tho, i cant handle it anymore, and it is starting to get ugly... so maybe i should tell my doc. i do live on a military establishment, and go to the doc on base, so i am also worried about the implications it may have have on my husbands career, i know he cant tell anyone, but i still dont want to be on some black list. plus i have to go see the same guy as long as i live here, so i feel embarrassed just thinking about it. anyway, say i can ween off, which will be hard but im going to try.... will i not feel the withdrawal? will it be considerably easier pain and anxiety and overall just feeling sick wise?

[troubled1122]

my dr. really wasn't that concerned with my addiction...which suprised me.i found it odd that she wanted to know why i wanted to quit in the first place....and handed me a script for percs.she said she really couldnt offer me anything but that.my options were taper or cold turkey.she gave me 30   five mg percs and the taper was4 first day,3,2,1 for 7 days,1/2 for 7,and a half everyother day til they were gone.and of course i took more than she said the first cpl of days.yesterday and today ive cut it in half and will continue to do so every day for the next 4 days,they will be gone then.my bf has a prescripton for his own so they will be in the house.he doesnt think its thats hard to quit and i should just stop,but i remind him "why do you think your exs are sturng out on them?" not by choice....but they dont want to quit.he says hes proud of me for admitting i have a prob,as well as my family says there proud of me,which held.i thought they would all turn on me.hoping and praying all goes well! thank u for the advice,it helps more than you know!

[troubled1122]

thank u so much for the advice.i have taken 3 today,and feel ok.tomorrow is 2,nxt day 1,then a haf nxt day then last half the next day.i know it's going to be the hardest thing iv'e ever done,but i'm bound and determined to do this! he has 2 exs who are STRUNG OUT on pills and i hide it from him for 2 yrs. til last week for fear that he would leave me.he was very undersanding....but at the same time he said if i give them to him and i beg for 1 he will give in cause he doesnt want to see me hurting...which is no help.when i went to the dr. last wed.,i went at 4 30 in the afternoon and hadnt had a pill all day because i wanted her to see me whithdrawling.i had chills,diarreah,and the beginnings of a migraine,and energy was low,but i hopped out of bed at 5 30,cleaned,visited family who were moving,and layed on a float in the pool,which to my suprise,helped more than anything,i kept busy all day and felt bad,but not as bad as i thought i would.i know the 2nd and 3rd days are worse,and i work at a daycare and cant miss work,so it will test my willpower definatley.i'm taking 1 day at the time.i will just be glad when the physical part is over .i know i will always have cravings from what iv'e read,but when i get thru this,i can honestly say I NEVER EVER EVER want to go down this road again.                                              

[fedup710]

going c/t wont kill you but it is uncomfortable!  I have been a taper plan for a wk  tapering from  20  10/325 percs a day for the last 3 yrs.  I am now taking 6 5 mg vics for the next few wks then nothing.  I gave all my meds to my sister so she could hand them out to me as prescribed (would not stick to it on my own).  You have already talked with your doc so maybe go back and tell er what happened. Take your boyfriend with you and put him in carge of yor meds!  Remember we are addicts and cant help wanting them!  Good luck and keep posting here this site is a life savor!

Chet

[tiggz1977]

if you can't taper yourself we've all tried and all failed. it take a certian will power that is very difficult to find during self taper. also taper off of percs is very difficult as it is very strong! tell your doctor to give you something weaker like norco. find what your daily dose is and how many you take at once and cut it in half. it's difficult, get out of the house if you can during this time, strt to feed your body so it starts to heal. push yourself inbetween dosing, try to go an extra hour, 30 mins even 5 mins each time try to go longer, you just have to want to get clean. start a journal write in it, read it when you start to get cravings, it will remin you everyday what your goal is esp. during cravings. if you feel that you can't taper which is quite common tell your bf, tell a friend to hand out your pills. tell them what your trying to do, tell them you need there help. most people jump at this to help someone they care about!! don't be afraid and stick to your goal. be strong! ps if you let your bf hand out your pills tell him to come here and post questions about how many or how much we will answer any and all questions. as why happens is they hand out too little and you wind up jonesing and going through a difficult taper. just tell him or any person you get to come here we will not judge any person esp. when your looking to get out.

God bless