hydrocodone/help

[Mrs.robinson]

I've been doing hydrocodone/apap 10/650 for 3 years now.  I started out only doing 10 a month and have worked up to 10 a day!  I recently lost my job (due in part to Sept.11) so I no longer have health insurance and, of course, not enough money coming in to support this habit.  I was no longer getting "high" on this amount and just do not want to continue this whole addiction anyway.  I tried to find Thomas's detox recipe but could not.  I am only 6 hours into giving then up and my body is already screaming...can I go cold turkey?????  My boyfriend layed out my usual dose for today on my dresser last night before leaving and they are just begging me to eat them. (I had asked him not to leave them since I had shared with him my intentions, but he told me I could not do it cold turkey)  Is he right????  I tried several times to cut back and to wean myself off but that did not work for me either.  There's no way I could afford help right now...NO WAY.  I'm too old to be doing these things...48 and have had hepitis c since I was 18.  I feel as if these things have hurt my liver and my kidneys.  Could I be right?  Any help would be appreciated.  Mrs. Robinson

[butterbean]

Hi Jaynine, I just read your post to WW, and wanted to say hang in there, you can do it.  After about a week you will feel much better.  I still struggle with what to do about my pain, but, I will not go back to abusing vicodin.  Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I give so much thanks to being alive and being able to be with my family.  Just remember, you are not alone.  There are probably many, many people who will never come to this forum because they dont want to admit they are abusing the painkillers.  I pray for them, but, for us here, we have each other to help us with the strength we already possess.  Otherwise we would not have found this forum  We are all looking for help, and believe me you will find it here.  Glad to hear from you WW, sounds like you are doing OK.  You have gave so many of us here strength, and I hope I can give you a little.  Happy Thanksgiving everyone.
Love Butterbean

[Witchywoman]

Hi JayNine,
First..the way to post up above is to read one of the threads at the top of the forum. It is fine to post a response to a thread that has already been started.  So go to the first or second thread of questions, and post a response from there.  The software posts your response to the thread that you are reading at the time.  I hope that makes sense.

Second, yes, you can do this without hospitalization. You really can. I did, and so have many others on this forum.  Have you found Thomas's recipe on here yet?  If you don't find it, let me know, and I'll send it to you.  Email me at ***@**** and I can send it to you. Thomas is someone who used to post here a lot, a wonderful man, who has helped me and countless other addicts get through withdrawals.

You can do it, it is uncomfortable and difficult but you can do it.  You might get bad rebound headaches.  Ask your doctor for a med called Maxalt..it helps me with my migraines really well, and it is not a narcotic, nor addictive in anyway.

The thing to keep in mind is that you are fighting for your FREEDOM. The tools to get there are tons of self love, support from others, and a strong desire to have control of your life and body again. I got sick of being a slave to a pill, and finally got clean, but had to go cold turkey 'cause I failed over and over at trying to taper.

If you have the discipline to taper, it is the best way to do it, 'cause it is a hellish 4 or 5 days going cold turkey...but people do it and still go to work (though I would not have been able to work).

Please do try and post higher. Butterbean is just finishing her detox, and Gingerlee and Telby are working on it too. I think there is another poster named Tucker who is trying as well. You'll find support, and please feel free to write me.

love
WW

[JayNine]

WW.

Thank you so much for answering.  It was great to log in and see a reply from someone.  I was really depressed yesterday after reading about everyone's experience and having to really face the cold hard realization of what lies ahead of me.  It almost seems easier to just stay on the pills. I broke down to by best girlfriend this morning and shared with her how scared I am and that how I cant imagine getting through this. She is very supportive and has dabbled a little in the glory of painkillers so I know she know's what I feeling.  I've referred her to this forum as well.

I also went to checkout my possible new job location this morning and needed 3 V's before I could face that.  The company I have worked for, for the past 5 1/2 years is closing, I may or may not be placed somewhere, I just don't know yet.  The only way I'll have time between jobs to detox is if I do not have another job to go to.  Maybe that's best, but them I'm afraid of being home no job, detoxing, YIKES! Doesn't add up to a pretty picture.  

I know what I have to do and I know there's no easy answer to this, the last thing I want to happen is that I need to be admitted to a hospital.  Please tell me again that I can do this and can do this without hospitalization.  I'm open to any advice you can give me. Along with, how do I post up higher?  I hit "post comment" and it puts it where it wants.  What control do I have to put my message on top or at a more reasonable level?

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond.  I greatly appreciate you I hope to continue talking with you in the future.
J

[Witchywoman]

Hi both of you, and welcome to the forum.
I encourage you to post further up, since a lot of people don't scroll down this far, we assume that the threads this far down are finished, though occassionally someone new posts.

Jay, I completely can relate to your fear of going off the pain meds. Tapering never worked for me either. I had to just make the decision to stop mostly cold turkey.  It is scary and very uncomfortable, but I promise, it won't kill you. If you have 10 days before you have to start a new job, and free time unti then, now would be a good time to start getting clean. Within 10 days you'll be through the withdrawals.  Search around this site for the thread that contains Thomas's detox recipe, he has suggestions for nutrients and a few other things that make it a bit more tolerable.  And feel free to post here for support, there are a lot of caring people who will help you here.

Charity, thanks for posting your story,it sounds like you are getting a lot better, and your story should be an inspiration to all.  I hope we get to know you better.
Try posting on one of the top threads, you'll get more responses.

love,
WW

[Charity1]

I've been off all pain meds for a couple of weeks. I wanted to quit before that but just couldn't. I'm pregnant so I felt that it was now or never. I was taking 2 at the most of anything Vicodin, Lorcet, Percocet whatever I could get  a day for the past two years. I ran out this time and decided enough. So when I started getting low I weened myself down to 1 and a half then to one andthen to half and then I ran out. I have to admit that helped quite a bit more than just going cold turkey like I did before. The reason I was taking them was for severe headaches and then I couldn't stop because when I did I didn't have any energy. My husband was pressuring me about keeping the house clean and other wifely duties. He knew that I was hooked but he thought i had quit months before. I couldn't tell him because I didn't want to hear him use the words drug addict. Me? Never! I am so against drugs. I just didn't consider these drugs until I couldn't quit. I want at least one every day. I have 2 readily available whenever I need one. Somehow some way I haven't felt that I needed them so far as much as wanted them. I still get the headaches but I deal with them the best I can and I think it's worse now from getting off the stuff. I liked the person I was on them. I just didn't like depending on them or worrying about where I was going to get more from. I feel a lot better now, I'm starting to get my energy back. When the craving gets real bad I take a vitamin. It helps maybe it's psychological but it helps. I would also like to find the detox recipe just in case. I'm glad I found this website because I was beginning to feel like I was the only one with this problem. Another thing that helps is listening to that new song by Sting. It's Been Awhile. I hope my story may help someone out there reading this. I do know it helped me to finally admit and be open that I am addicted to these things. So thank you for listening.

[JayNine]

Please Help!!  I've been treated with Hydrocodone for the past 15 months for migraines .  As much as I've tried to convince myself and others that I'm not addicted, its just not true.  I refilled a prescription today at noon and have since taken 8, and so far I'm experiencing very little affects. Its 7pm and I'll probably take another 4 before the days over.  At this point I'm into the 4th week of weening myself off.  Obviously not working so well.  I want to stop!  I need to stop!  I'm very, very scared to stop!  I have to start a new job in 10 days, How can I do that and detox at the same time?  Someone please help if you can.

Thank you.
J

[Mimsi]

My son (18)took Percocet 10 for 5 weeks folowing oral surgery, which resulted in a staph infection.  He took the medication more frequently than prescribed.  He ran out on Wednesday and since then has been unable to sleep, is irritable and has diarrhea.  I reas the recipe and was ready to run to the store when I saw the warning regarding Paxil...he takes 40 mgs a day.  Any altenative suggestions out there?  Thanks for your help.

[popi]

Hi,
  Just a quick post, you said you would like to get back to your dance!
   Guess who took Tap, Acrobatics and BALLET from age 5 to age 15.  ME!!!!!
   As a matter of fact, my brother was one of the top dancers for the movies, he made many of them, best dance one in my opinion was "Carousel", he did some dancing on the roof that was awsome.
   I'll post again this evening when I have a little more time.

p.s. The other half of my brain that I was trying to trick, gave me a message!!! B----IT.
             Catch ya tonight       Popi

[Witchywoman]

I think you gave excellent advice Popi, and I 'm very glad you have decided to be an active member of the board.

How are you doing with your own taper?

I loved your strategy of fooling your brain with half a pill!
LOL

That never would have worked for me though...I had both sides of my brain scheming to convince me that the dose I should take was way too small...oi!

It is good to be on the other side. I can see sunshine again, and I never thought I would.  For anyone who thinks I have it totally together...naaaaah. I don't. I am clean. I am working on myself. But I struggle with mental cravings and insecurities just like everyone else. I have back pain that sometimes is very low, but other times spikes reallllly high (like today) I have some very tough marriage issues that keep me on a roller coaster.  What keeps me going are my friends, my cats, my spirituality, and my love of life...not necessarily in that order. Oh...and my hope that someday soon my back will be ok enough for me to get back to my dance.

love,
WW

[Witchywoman]

Wow, that is an excellent idea! If you can afford to pay a private nurse to come and help with the baby, that would be great. I'm sure there must be a registry of private nurses somewhere..try looking under "health care" or "home health care" in the phone book.

If hiring a nurse is too expensive, maybe you could hire a temporary baby sitter, someone who could look after the little one and cook and clean for a few days. You can look into temp agencies for both these positions.

I'm very glad you thought of that! Go for it..anything that makes it easier for you.

love,
WW

[popi]

Hi,
   I hope you have faith enough to listen to "Witchywoman and Shotsy", believe that they are going to be your "crutch" through this tough time, and we all know it's tough.
   I must say this, the doctor who left you without any means of tapering down your meds, should be reported. It is the doctors DUTY to help you get off of your medication, in a way that would not cause you any harm, he prescribed it to help you, I am curious to know if you told him of your intent to get off of it, because if you did, then he should have came up with a plan for easy withdrawal for you.
    If I were you, I would tell him of your intent to withdraw from this medication, and ask for his help in tapering off, if he refuses to listen to you, then I would try to seek another physician who, after you tell him of your intent, will help you get off the medication in a more easier manner.
     This forum is full of people with TOTAL commitment in helping, so place your faith here, it will not be abused.
     And, Witchywoman and Shotsy, if I have given any wrong information to Starling, please correct me, you know what faith I have in your opinions.
     Starling, hang in there, you are as close to all of us as your keyboard.
                God Bless       Popi

[starling]

WW,

Thank you so much for your vote of confidence. I wish I had as much faith in myself as you appear to have in me. :)

I was just thinking...wondering...because I don't know about such things, but are there emergency nurses or something like that whom a person can hire "as needed?" Someone to look after my baby and cook meals until my husband comes home from work? Just until I'm back on my feet again? Do you (or anyone else here, for that matter) happen to know about this kind of thing?

If there are, that could be the answer to my gut-wrenching dilemma. I'm sorry if I sound dramatic, but I am feeling very vulnerable right now. I know what I'm facing because I've been through it before... only, at the time, I thought it was the worst flu that I had ever had in my life. I literally thought I was going to die and told my husband so. It was about 3 weeks after my last c-section and I had been on about 10 vicodin pills per day, and when I started feeling sick and then on top of that ran out of pills, I didn't ask for a refill as I thought that was the last thing I needed while down with the flu. Little did I really know at the time what I was going through. Granted, I was sick...I really did have the flu...but I was also going through tremendous withdrawals.

Anyway, I don't mean to ramble here. What I'd really like to know is, if there are any type of nurses around that I could hire on a very temporary basis until I'm through the worst of it. And if you do happen to know whether or not there are people like this, how in the world would I go about finding one? Through the phone book? Some other avenue?

I'm totally at a loss here and trying to think of anything... ANYTHING to get me through this with my baby well taken care of.

Thanks so much for listening, hearing me, and most of all for understanding.

"starling"

[SHOTSY]

Listen to WW. She's got it together and will really help you thru this. She's been very kind to me. I owe her a special thank you for her patience and kindness. She's been kind of like the eye of a hurricane to me. With all the turbulance going on, you just go to the eye of the storm. And you see sunshine and it's very calm there. I agree with her. It's do-able. I'll be here for you also. I'm just figuring out that alot of times when I didn't feel good. I may have been going thru withdrawal. So I understand. Shotsy

[Witchywoman]

Hi Starling,
Let me just start by saying you can do this.  
I say those words to you because those were the most important words someone here said to me when I decided to go cold turkey. I needed to hear them, and I just let go and surrendered and trusted that yes, I could do this. If I could, so can you.

Next, please feel free to write me. Email support was part of what got me through my withdrawal.  Write me at ***@****.  Also, post here, as often as you want or need to.

Next....if you really have no option other than to stay home and take care of your baby while in withdrawals, I'll give you some advice, but I do wish you had the ability to taper or get rehab somewhere. But given your situation...

In withdrawal, we are extremely uncomfortable, but still able to function. I hardly slept, so being available and awake to take care of your baby won't be as big a problem as you may think it is.  I was way more alert than I wanted to be, trust me.
It helps to have a task to perform to distract you, and maybe taking care of her will be that task.

Thomas's recipe helps a lot, do take the immodium, and you won't have diarhea to battle. Do take the multimineral supplements, and low doses of 5 HTP.  Drink tons of water, and soak in hot baths whenever you can.  Breathe deeply. Watch escapist movies when your baby is sleeping. Go for walks with her in the stroller if you can..I went for walks ever day of my withdrawal and it helped tons.  If you can possibly see an acupuncturist, please please do, and tell them you are in withdrawals..there is a lot they can do to speed up the body's own endorphin production and stop the creepy crawlies.

You will sweat a lot, get the chills, get skin tingles, and feel very restless. I never got the shakes, but some folks do.
But you can do this.

Also starling, and maybe most important...please, please be gentle with yourself. Love yourself through this. I am worried about the harsh tone you took with yourself in your post, like you've brought this upon yourself and you deserve to be punished.
You have succumbed to addiction, like many fine people before you. Like me, and Skipper, and everyone else here. You deserve love and compassion just like anyone else...and it is LOVE that heals the shame of this disease. Please make a commitment to love yourself through this withdrawal. Love will help you get through.  You are not a horrible person. You are a normal human being. And frankly, I've found more wonderful human beings among my addict friends than almost anywhere. You are in good company, and we will love you until you can love yourself.

So..reach out. I am here. We are here. You can do this.

love,
WW

[starling]

Shotsy,

Yes, I have to quit cold. My doctor has not approved a refill and I've only got one vicodin pill left. The way my health care provider works it would be at least two days before I could even get any more pills to taper with, and by that time I'll have already been in withdrawal for nearly 48 hours. There'd be no sense in turning back then. My husband is only home two hours per night of my daughter's waking hours which is not nearly enough to help me take care of her. And I already know that he would not, and cannot, take time off of work in order to give me extra help. He also doesn't know anyone at all who could help me during the day.

I'm in a real mess. I could just kill myself! :(

"starling"

[SHOTSY]

Do you absolutely have to quit cold? Are you not able to extend a taper period until you can get some asistance? What about daddy? Let me know. Shotsy

[starling]

Skip,

I only just printed out the recipe this morning, so I need to go get the stuff today.

I really don't care so much about myself and the hell I'm going to have to go through. I deserve it. Every last minute of it.

What I am very, very concerned about is how to care for my infant while going through the withdrawals. If I'm laid up and can't function, how in the world am I going to be able to care for her?

It's very hard to stay calm when you have a beautiful little baby staring you in the face, and you're so frightened that you will become useless to her, and that something might happen to her... and she cannot take care of herself in any way, shape, or form.

I'm at my wit's end! What in the world am I going to do???

"starling"

[skipper]

Starling:
so now it's time to pay up? well first of all lets try to stay
calm. ok have you assembled the items for Thomas's detox. if
not get what you need befoe the withdrawal really kicks in. just
remember opiate withdrawal will not kill you, you may wish to
die, but it will not kill you. also remember that though you are
alone, there are many helpful people at this site to offer help
and suggestions.
gods speed and keep an angel on your shoulder!
kip

[starling]

I forgot to add that I have been taking the Vicodin for 6-1/2 months, and the oramorph sr for 2 months. So, yes, I am seriously addicted. :(

"starling"

[starling]

Okay, I'm facing 'cold turkey' withdrawal from taking 5 Vicodan per day (5/500) and 1 oramorph SR per day (30mg). I'm so scared!

WW, I printed out the long post above and am ready to take the trips to wherever necessary to get all the recommended aids in helping me through the withdrawals.

This wouldn't be so scary if it weren't for my 11 mth old daughter. I take care of her everyday. I have NO ONE to help me, so I will have NO help while withdrawing. I am so scared that I'll be laid up on the couch and won't be able to properly take care of her.

If anything happened to her while I, in my PITIFUL SELF-INFLICTED SHAMEFUL ADDICTED self, lay there immobilized because of my idiotic choice to become an addict, I couldn't live with myself anymore.

What do I do? I am dead serious. I have NO ONE to help me through this, and NO ONE to help take care of my infant.

I am so sad...sad...sad...and scared out of my wits!

Any comments, please, from anyone?

Thanks so much for reading,

"starling"

[skipper]

Popi:
the most difficult task of my 35+ years of drug addiction seems to
be right in front of me every day. see i take 40mg of oxycontin 3
times a day. every day i struggle to take the medicine as it is
perscribed and not the way my junkie instincts tell me. i think the
only reasion i haven't tried to shoot my oxys up is i have so lit-
tle useable veins left! i may be able to conceal what i am to a
doctor, but not the nurse anesthetist! and besides i seem to have
become quite uncomfortable with hpyo equipment in my old age.

Popi, you must be slightly apprehensive about your upcoming surg-
ery. in the last 2 years i've had 2 surgerys on the cevical level
of my spine. both times they went in thru the front of my neck. it
wasn't any easier the second time. i guess the way i got thru it
was to turn it over into the hands of my surgeon (well i took a lot
of drugs too)

best of luck
keep an angel on your shoulder
kip

[katie r]

What does a person do when both sides of their brain wants the whole pill and then some? That seems to be my problem. I can always find a way to justify taking more than I need. But I've been unable to convince myself to only  take "as prescribed."
Oh well......maybe someday, I'll tire of letting these pills rule my life....maybe I'll tire of them deciding when I can go shopping or spend time with friends. Right now, I can't seem to function normally without them. I even plan hair cuts and manicures around them, for crying out loud!
Ok....it's after midnight. Time for me crawl into bed.
Goodnight everyone!

[butterbean]

I also take Percocet.  It to me is much stronger than Vicodin.  The Vicodin does not make me feel high at all anymore, but, Percocet does.  Be careful, ask them to only give you Vic's, because believe me Percocet is much stronger. Also, the withdrawal is worse.  They are very addictive.  I have heard people say Vicodin is strongest, I guess it is the body chemistry on different people.  Are you doing stretching and limbering up before your surgery?  This will help the withdrawals when it is time to go through it.  Take care granddad!  SMILE!!!!!!!!!!  Goodnight everyone.
Love Butterbean

[popi]

Hi,
  Thanks for the kind thoughts. I like you am now taking "as needed", my only problem that I was having was? what part of my brain was making the decision to take for pain or take for the taking. (If you follow me!)
   So, I came up with a plan to fool my brain, I cut one in half, now my reasoning is this; my addictive side says TAKE ONE!! while my other side that I try to use for reasoning says: But your trying to quit.
    SO!! I deduced that neither of these sides can tell a half pill from a full pill, so I take the half pill!
     I have been doing this for 2 days now, and darn if it isn't working!
     I know that when I have surgery, I am going to be put on Percocet, I was already told this, now, I have never had Percocet, anyone out there know what kind of parallels these drugs have, if so, please let me know.
     Oh, by the way Bellybean, I was in the Northridge Earthquake, and although California is  a beautiful place, theres too much shaking for me, after 40 years, I called it a day. I am happy in New England, and the other day driving through the highways, I have seen the most beautiful transformation of leaves I have ever seen, it was breathtaking.
    Well, gonna sign off for now, I'm watching the movie "Uprising", and part 2 is on tonight, so take care, God Bless, see ya tomorrow.
                             POPI