irritability and rage

[lostmarbles]

Hi guys, I am coming to the end of day two, it's been difficult to say the least but I am also extremely irritable and quick to rage at family who have no understanding really of what it is like to go into W/D... I also live away from them so it's just phonecalls and of course trying to explain over and over is wearing me down as well ... I have just blown up at my mum, it's not her fault, it's mine obviously but I'm just trying so hard to keep it together myself for the sake of my own kids and now my kids have heard me shouting down the phone.. it's so ****!! who am I? i REALLY DON'T KNOW THIS PERSON!!! Has anyone else experienced this?

[GoingToMakeIt]

Marbles, the Thomas recipe is in my journals as well as a post on amino acids. Heed the warnings if on anti-depressants. Tylenol PM or melatonin or valerian rootall work for sleep.

[lostmarbles]

Thanks for that great advice, i will get to the health shop as soon as i can get in the car!!!  I cant sleep at this point, just an hour earlier but that's it. I am taking the lower dose different benzo but does not seem to effect me at all, certainly not taking the w/d's away.. i dont know, maybe it's accumulative, maybe it might start to kick in in a couple of days...   God bless you all

[Angel929]

I understand completely. My husband sometimes says..." Your just mad because you are out of your pills".  That really makes me angry.  But it is true. I hate it when he is right. hehehe.

[momwhosseenitall]

The thomas recipe says to take 1000mg up to 4000mg of L-tyrosine an amino acid to help lift the fuzzy brain (you need to take 100mg b6 to help absorb it)   take it in the morn maybe an hr before eating and it should "wake you up".     The best solution was to sleep thru these worst days, but with kids I guess you cant!   Also there is another amino acid  5htp that can be taken at night to help you sleep better (it also works as an antidepressant)      My nephew also could not take the baths, he felt like his skin was burning off.   but he is using the L-tyrosine and said it did make a difference.    You might need a health food store for these, but you might get lucky & find them at a regular drug store.   Also Imodium AD if you get diareaha   and there are over the counter stuff for restless legs.    But if nothing else take a good multiple vitamin or a b complex stress tablet,  exercise when you start to feel like it and REFOCUS when you start to want to give up.....Its temporary!    You're doing Great, take one day at a time!    

[GoingToMakeIt]

Benzos are tough. Did you start taking the new lower dose yet? I just want to make sure. Cold turkey isn't a good idea on these.

[lostmarbles]

Thank you both for your advice, it is much needed. I am praying and trying to stay focused.. it's the fuzzy head and disorientation that gets me. The knowing is the best advice when people like you tell me what I need to know, the not knowing scares me to death. I'm too scared to drive - my hands are shaking and everything else has started to deteriorate but your'e right Magi, we have done alot of damage to ourselves. I've broken out all over my face, blisters in mouth, My God.. I never really expected as many w/d's as I'm getting, I had no clue!!! this forum and all you guys have been my strength really, i'm so grateful.. My days are worse than my nights, even though I have only slept an hour in the last 2 days. I will never take another xanax as long as I live after this!!! I wish you all love and happyness.. God bless you

[flmagi]

I had the sensitivity to light and sounds too. I just hung out in my bed in the dark with the TV real low, sometimes put a pillow over my head. Tommorrow will be another bad day for you, so be prepared. Day 5 seems to be the day most people start feeling alittle better, most of the real sickness part should be ending then.  But if you can try to get outside for a few minutes each day for some fresh air. Forcing yourself to take a short, slow walk will tire you out alittle and maybe you can get a few hours sleep (or minutes).  After the initial sick days, you will get good days and bad, the good ones coming more often. Lack of sleep, no energy or motivation can carry on for awhile and the lack of sleep can cause you to get depressed or moody. They say 90 days before you really, really start feeling normal.  Remember, we've done alot of damage to ourselves and it will take along time to heal. So hang in there and don't get discouraged. Your doing great. Keep posting.
Magi

[MikeWithFamily]

I did not go C/T because I was knew I was not strong enough to do it. I admire you for jumping feet first into it. Just the decision to go C/T suggest you have a strong spirit. Remember that spirit is working for you. . I believe I read somewhere that the first 4  or 5 days of C/T are the worst. Sounds like you are more than half way finished with the hard W/D days. After that, it is more phsycological. I think its awsome you are sticking it out. I will pray for you LostMarbles and don't forget, you can pray too. Just ask for some strength and wisdom to get you through the next couple of hours and then say another prayer for the next few hours, etc.... You may (or may not) be surprised with what happens.
God Bless and continue to let us know how you are doing.

Mike with Family

[lostmarbles]

thanks for your note, it helps alot. Just the knowing seems to work for me.. it's the unknown that scares me to death! today I actually ate food.. took vitamins, drinking lots of water too and juice. Slept a little on the sofa for an hour, praying I will get more sleep later? who knows!!! I find the w/d's are worse for me in the day, handle it better towards late evening so far. Also I'm sensitive to daylight at the moment and loud noises!! feel like a bat.. should start to grow fangs by day 4 I think.. wonder if anyone else has?? thanks for here and well done to you, you have done so well, it's an inspiration.

[hopsing94]

I'm not sure,everyone is different. My fuzzy head and headaches are still with me. I wonder everyday when will it go away but I keep telling myself that it will. I've been to the dr and had blood work done. I've been taking my vitamins,drinking water and still I have this fuzzy head thing. I was at 3 weeks clean and was still having it. I'm coming up on another 3 weeks and still have it. When I relapsed a few weeks ago it went away so I know it's the meds. It is getting slightly better so I'm gonna stick with it this time. I have noticed when I wake up it's not so bad but later in the day as I start doing things and use my head more it starts to creep up on me. I think it has to do alot with my mind not knowing how to function without the pills and it is relearning how to. I think we just have to fight through it for the better good of what is to come. So lets do that. I'm with ya.

[lostmarbles]

thanks guys, you're great and I do take everything you suggest to the heart and do it to the best of my ability.. i thank you for that. Thanks hopsing - I NEED to know what to expect over the next coming days and weeks. I kind of feel that it's the not knowing that does me in really and then bam! it hits so hard and I wasn't expecting it to that extent. My head feels fuzzy and focusing is hard right now. I have had a multiple of different w/d symptoms that have hit me today. How long does this go on for? weeks, months? I know this may seem weird but I got in to the bath and the water felt so yuk against my skin that I immediately got out.. is that normal? I feel like you did though - I just want to lock myself away until it's over, whenever that may be!! but I shall keep on posting, I haven't stopped since I joined!! it's been such a great help to have people like you understanding and advising.. I just would not know otherwise.. thanks guys, I hope you are all well... x

[CleandUP]

Hopsing is right, keep your mind busy! It works. Accomplish things that you don't think you can do and that helps tremendously!!! You can do this

[hopsing94]

Hang in there. This is totally normal. However you are two day and day two is almost over. Tomorrow will be another tough day. Try keeping your mind occupied with something. Reading a book,crosswords,puzzles,something you can do yourself. I found at a time like this it is best to be left alone. As little responsability as possible. Take a hot bath,this will soothe you. Your edgey right now because of the detox and every little thing is a bother to you. Heck I stayed locked in my bedroom as much as possible and everytime the phone rang I would just cringe. It will pass in a day or two but it will be back. It comes and goes. I am only telling you this so you can be prepared. You need everything to be as light as possible right now. If you know there are things to be done try to do them when you can so you don't have any pressure to do them later. Good luck and stay strong. Keep posting and ask for help anytime it gets overwhelming,that is what this forum is all about.

[lostmarbles]

Hello cookie, well as you can see I have had a very bad day!!! almost to the end of it now, hoping I might get some sleep at some point. Thanks for your support Cookie, I so need it right now!! I hope you are well and things are good for you, xx

[lostmarbles]

thanks for your support. Honestly I feel so guilty on top of everything else.. this addiction is ****!! You are so right - it is easy to kick our own ***, that's what I've been doing for the longest time. God I feel better already!! I will stock up with what you suggested OJ, lemonade etc.. just spoke to my mum and dad and feel much better now for doing so, better understanding etc but I will keep my phone off I think as I can't predict my mood when it rings!! God bless you CGR, you are a star!!

[sickcookie]

This will pass just hang in and people really have sent good suggestions,try them.I took alot of advil in the beginning at the same time I would have taken the pills,in my mind it helped.Yes my temper would go 0-60 in seconds just try not to react this will pass.You are in the hardest part a couple of more days will make a difference.Your in the right place here.Your doing good even if you do not feel that way now

[toxictome]

It's different for everyone..depends on your DOC, how much you did and how long you did it.

From what i read on here..it will prol be w/ you for a couple of wks. for re...maybe months, but it gets better each day...so hang on for the ride...and know you'll get there soon!

Yes..i can understand feeling full of poison..that's how i picked my name...the vics were toxic.to.me

[lostmarbles]

How long do these feelings stay with us? the physical and mental w/d is awful.. i feel like i'm full of poison!!! thank you for your support and advice!! i do feel better just for posting..

[CGR76]

Yes we have all gone through this. It sucks and at times I found my self blowing up for the dumest thing. I personally stay away from phones when I get this way, and unfortunatlly I have found ways to kip the kids busy so that they dont come around me.

Just remmember it will all be over, it does end. Give it a couple more days, you will get there. I feel your pain and frustration, I too (at times) dont now who I am or who I have become. But I know I am still here, I now I still live, cuz of the grace of god. You are still in  there, dont kick ur own @ss so much...You made a mistake, you are dealing with it, and you will make it out OK. So just give your self permission to do and say what you feel (except the dope). Like always say, "Its Better to for forgiveness than to ask for permission."

Keep busy, drink lots of fluids, eat, and try to do whatever you can to take your mind off of this. Its just a really bad flu, keep saying that to yourself. And I will be fine soon.

God Bless....CGR

P.S -Orange Juice and Lemon aid helps me. A benadril can shave off some of the anxciety. Velarian root helps at night. For aches and pain, take hot bathes (as many as you need) take some aspiren, or a motrin 800 if you can get some (with Food).

[toxictome]

Do they know you are going thru wd's ? if not...tell them you have the flu and you feel really bad and irritable. that you  are sorry for yelling......and you will talk to them in a couple of days...i felt really irritable off and on the whole time i tapered( 10days ) and still get that way at times...one minute i'm calm..and the next min. i'm yelling...it's hard becuz sometimes it feels like my emotions are raw and i just feel really jumpy...but it will get better!  
hang in there and keep posting