Isn't it funny....

[mo2000]

Day 17!!

Ok.. here is my dilemma...

When I was high, all I wanted to do was sit in my house.  I was so content to sit in front of my computer, read and play games.  Now, nothing is satisfying.  If I am not getting out of my house, I sit in an anxiety ridden state on my couch.. thinking of who I can hang with or what I can do just to get out of the house!!

It's beginning to drive me crazy... I don't necessarily think about using, because I really don't want to... instead I just want to be content again...

Any suggestions???

[laurel453]

i remember well that i went through exactly the same phase. I also was like you happy jjust being in front of something ( pc, tv, ...) while with the pills, hahahaha

after the wd's were gone, i felt full of energy ( for some days ) and wanted to do many things all outside, i felt like being caged at home....i couldn't read, watch a movie nor  concentrate in anything... i would think is part of the process, then i had days with no energy at all and no motivation, the cravings come and go...what i'm trying to tell u is that our emotions are all messed up and we have to ride them as better as we can...be open to whatever you feel ...don't expect it to last for ever.. .... ups and downs are on the road, i suppose that our body and minds have endured too much after abusing these substances and after a detox so it takes time and work and it's not easy, look for help as soon as you feel like needing it  and  be ready to ask for it, ok ?

but , hey, enjoy your days and your mood  now :)

[laurel453]

hey, you truly has changed in another person/name ;) ( jk).

i am really happy for you :) it might have taken 5 years as you said but what you've have achieved is worthed it, peace of mind at least and not needing anything nor anybody from falling...that's what i want....rebuilding ourselves takes a lot of time. I'm working on this and it's not easy at all (  a sort of deconstruction of oneself and then, reconstruction, sorry for my explaining in english ) , it's a mental struggle that of feeling bad to feel better later and it's not easy but ...i'm on the way... ( hope so )

ok, once again congrats for what you have achieved :)

[denverluv]

Thanks! It has been a long road and I can't say that what worked for me is what will work for anyone else but I do know that it takes You wanting it, and it can be done. It takes a much stronger person to be sober than a loser user LOL - (my own words to remind myself why I didn't want to use)

[ang_811]

Maybe try starting a journal. Write about all ur experiences in addiction. Y it's bad for u to use and y it's a good idea for u to stay clean. Who knows maybe u will become the next big author. It helps me even though I'm tappering from sub I can still go back and read it when I get clean.

[laurel453]

very good post and point.

[moonshyne777]

I heard someone in NA say "an addict alone is in bad company" I think it's very true. I'm new to NA but I find going to those meetings help me to "get out of my head and look ahead".

You need to give yourself some time to get re-aquainted with yourself sober. And for me when I was using I really isolated myself. My pills were the only "friend" I needed. Once the pills were gone I suddenly felt so lonely and am trying to get back into the world again and form some friendships and get into doing the things I enjoyed before I got hooked on oxys.

Volunteer work is a great idea too and will give you a much needed boost in self confidence and knowing your making a difference in helping out in the world and giving of yourself will be very soul healing. Give it time and try to utilize some of the suggestions others have given you. We didn't lose ourselves to addiction overnight and it will take awhile to rediscover ourselves again. Your doing great, 2 weeks is a great start and your on your way to better days ;)

[denverluv]

Sorry for jumping in but I had to. I have been sober for five years, and i had to answer your post because I understand that feeling of wanting to be content. The answer isn't really to replace your addiction with another one - be it constant exercise, food, going here there everywhere - anything to keep you from inside your head. The reason why you need someone to keep you from falling is because you HAVE to get inside your head to figure out why you are an addict.  And that hurts, and it makes you want to use to numb the pain. You are not going to feel content until you resolve whatever issues you have. Even if it's realizing that it's something you can't control, at least learning that about yourself will help. Trust me. I had to go back and remember every memory I had buried, every trauma, every painful thing, and actually feel it.  Actually grieve for it. It's very hard, but when you get to the other side - you WILL be content. It takes time though. It has been five years for me, and it HAS taken this long to get to a point where I feel normal. But you do have to get to your issues, otherwise you will just be barely holding on all the time, and that's horrible too. You have to come to a point whre you can actually be ok with you and the world around you being sober, and be ok with whatever made you want to cover up your feelings is the first place.  Good luck. And please remember - even if you mess up and use one day - tommorrow is another day. Every day is a chance to start over. But that is not a free pass to go ahead and use. You have to hold yourself accountable. This is your life - you hold it in YOUR hands.

[LeaAnn807]

All the above are good suggestions and some exercise.  Could you go for short walks?  Also, set small goals for yourself throughout the day.  Reaching your goals, however small, will make you feel good!  Being content and happy comes with patience and sometimes more than 17 days!!!!  In most cases, I would think that the brain would take longer than that to repair.  I started exercising a week ago, and it has helped me SO much!  

Give it a try!  

[GA Guy]

If you're open to it, try an NA or AA meeting. The service work there keeps me very busy. Volunteering somewhere is a great idea as well.

[dominosarah]

They are always in need of volunteer work at many places.  You could maybe give that a try.  I know the Humane Society is always looking for dog walkers around here.  An idle mind is the devils playground......sara

[IBKleen]

Are you engaged in any form of aftercare or are you just sitting around in your own head?

Have you thought about meetings? Certainly never hurts and you will make new friends and find "sober" things to do.

Boredom and anxiety are a set-up for relapse.