mania

[spider6]

Is it possible that being clean for a little while can trigger manic eps?

[Wildewoman]

where is the LIKE button??

[VICourageous]

Spider, besides PAWS which has a emotional and physiological aspects that are very difficult to endure..We also go through a Grieving stage when we give up our substances. Like Denial, Bargaining, Anger, Depression and Acceptance. It says that the Anger manifests even greater at this stage.
I went to get set up for the Mindful classes..The lady wanted me to go back in time about the death of my Little brother and other issues. I told her NO..I have already grieved and went nuts and it was so long ago. This is gone..Well she said that we might Grieve but these emotional things are still tucked way deep down and like are like shadows that have build up..She said that we have to release them little by little..WELL I guess this is where some meditation come in..I am still working on it..Just thought I would throw this at you..I sure wish you the best..BECAUSE YOU are the cutest little spider we have around here..lol
Bless

[BearsFan1966]

so glad to see you are still around! lol Missed seeing your posts! xoxo

[Wildewoman]

WOW - that is really scary!! Are you okay now??

What is your action plan? See a doctor or counselor?? Maybe some meds to level you off??

Keep praying sweety!!

[tooter212]

Spider msdelight is right, forgive yourself. My anger is very high also. I try not to say anything because if I get started I won't quit !!!! I've got a good husband but not very helpful he just wants this to be over!! It makes me feel alone. He never was affectionate just horny. That's the way he was raised. I know how young people can be that live with you. No matter how much you love them it gets to be too much at times. And being female it really makes it hard. you know the saying "no house is big enough for two women". Lol  Just tell her you need some space right now and you love her. and know this too shall pass. God Bless you and comfort you

[msdelight]

Hey spidy I'm sorry this happened. I agree that it's probably not mania but built up repressed anger/emotions. Please forgive yourself. You've been so sick lately. You're worn out and hanging by a thread. Apologize to her, and then forgive yourself. Let it go and move on. These things happen!

[weaver71]

It is crazy I know. My therapist says that she thinks all my addiction was primarily medicating mania. Since I don't crave or have other addict norms, I think she is right. That doesn't mean I can ever use drugs again, but it IS a wacky disorder. Protect that family and your mind okay. Let me know if you wanna talk. I so relate to losing control, even sober. My cycles got closer together and more and more intense. Don't underestimate the potenti here. We can do this, but not alone or online. See you when you get back.

[spider6]

I was just scaring myself with those thoughts, I'm trying to "change the subject in my head"  but ya know what Weaver, I think this is why I starting drugging myself all those years ago....I think I am rapid cycling by the 1/4 hr.  Thankyou so much for your comments, I just don't think I can type anymore right now.  thank you I love you guys

[MYoungAtHeart]

It may not even have been a " Manic" episode, it could just be intense anger that has been kept hidden by drug use.  No one uses drugs just for good feelings, we may start using because we feel better while we are high, but after using, the using keeps us from the feelings that we don't want to deal with, a lot of times that being anger, and once we start coming off the drugs, the anger that has been pushed down comes into play.  On the day that a person starts using drugs, he/she stops growing and stops dealing with emotional problems and all the stuff that was a problem when starting the drug use will be there to revisit you when you are not using drugs to hide your feelings...It is also important to know that many many times, a person will go back to the drugs or alcohol just because the unresolved emotional problems are too overwhelming.  You don't say if you are in therapy or group or going to NA/AA meetings, but these are a very important part of rehab.

Wishing you the very best.....

M.  

[weaver71]

Oh yeah, if you fear losing control or hurting someone, get help now. I waited until I had a nervous breakdown and almost went to Mexico, you know how it can be.

[BearsFan1966]

Oh my spider I am so sorry you are going threw this! You are always in my prayers and thoughts! I am here always for you sweet spider just do not turn into the black widow! lol We will get threw this together!
love you very much!! xoxo

[weaver71]

As my opiated brain healed, my bipolar1 elevated untesely. One of the reasons I recommend counseling to gauge pre existing conditions. Our brains were dampened by meds a long time and when they are getting back to full function, emotional pain, chemical imbalance, and psychological pain can amplify. At 4 months off methadone was my first full blown mania episode. Had I been alone all the time with family, I may not have realized it was a bipolar episode. I suggest you get in to addiction and/CBT treatment.

[spider6]

From 5 to 8am this morn I went apeshit on my 25yr old daughter that lives with me. I put hands on her twice....this has never happened before.  I hate everything the last few days, anxiety high. I've been in my washroom since and just trying to catch my breath. It was very fuc#ed up and I didn't hit btw, shed and pulled.  But it easily could have got worse. I feel sick

[Heather8448]

yes,
My sponsor and friends say give your brain time to heal b4 u get on ad
I am up and down wondering if its bi polar
but everyone says they went through that give it time and it will level off