the road b4 rehab

[youngdude421]

thanks 2 everybody who responded to my post reading what u guys have to say really helps me, my dilemma now is telling my father, my parents are divorced so its not like he will just respond the same as my mom and bro did. On the phone 2day my bro was pressuring me to tell him asap and i wanted to jump through the phone and ring his neck i already told him i will tell my father when im ready pressuring me just makes me mad and u guys know what addicts do when they get mad so i dont need that. i told him pressuring me will only make things worse. I am going on a little road trip with my dad to visit family they want me to tell him than but ill tell him when i feel i can their not the ones bearing this cross i am.  I keep remembering a visit i had with my dad in one of my previous rehabs and he was referring to my felow patients that were much older than me and clearly severley mentally ill and him saying "if this dosent teach u to stop i dont know what will" i hate to have to tel him this and let him down i hope it dosent break his heart but i doubt it will my dad is a pretty tough old guy and not much phases him when i got arrested when i was 17 he didnt even get angry than so  its just a matter of me working up the courage to confide in him about this.(but he was mad when i went to rehab last time) anyway i wish everyone here the best this is like a online support group and its great lol.

youngdude

[rue10]

sorry didn't explain that well.  Most every angry reaction is driven by fear.  Hope that makes sense.

[rue10]

I just wanted to add that most every reaction a parent or person for that matter is driven by fear.  Your Dad is probably scared for you and your future and doesn't know how to express it other than being angry or pissed off.  Deep down he's probablay afraid.  Try to remember that whenever you do tell him.  I also agree with marcatj.  You tell him when you're ready.  It's your decision not your bros.

I'm rooting for you.  Please keep us posted.

Blessings.

[marcatj]

hun - you tell him when you are ready.

you are old enough to make your own decisions.  if you are not ready to tell him yet, that is fine.

it's not going to effect whether you go or not.

do it when you're ready.  and to me - that is totally ok.  it is your life now.... when the time feels right, you'll do it. it's your decision,

good luck.  and good for you!!! for going.  that takes courage....

warmly,
mj

[Flowergirl43]

Wow I really feel for you, I have a son who has been in and out of rehab and I do not think I knew how he felt until I read your words.  I chewed him out and said things I should not have but I wanted better for him. Being humble and honest is a way to talk to your dad and sometimes as parents we say things out of frustration and hurt and we feel like we failed. Imagine if you saw your son struggling and all you can do is think "where in the heck did I go wrong if I tried harder he would not be here".  Words are just words but parents love and cherish their children so just announce that elephant in the room and move on.  We are all humans and we all feel your pain and so does your father.  Prayers and strength to you and let us know how you are.