help me please

[kat456]

Hello,
I have been told this morning by a concerned friend of my 24 year old daughter that is seriously involved in cocaine. I have been completely blind as I have just been thinking she is run down and her mood swings are because she is so tired all the time. I called the family together today and we all sat down and tried to talk to her about it,However she denied taking any drugs and said she didnt care about anybody or anyone and wished we would all just leave her alone, i know she was lying and when I look back at all the signs she has been exhibiting I cant believe I have been so blind. What can I do to help her ,she has gone to a night club tonight and I have called around and found out that it is a particularly bad club for drugs .......i am desperate and just want to know how to handle this without making her turn away from me!!!!!!!!
Please any advise would be good
Kat

[scottt]

I too am an addict (pills) in recovory so I do know what your daughter is going thru. I used coke for many yrs when i was younger. I found that it was easier to get off than opiates just mental not physical. Speaking from experience an addict of any kind has to hit their personal bottom and make the decision on their own to stop!!! YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING WRONG!!! Just keep loving and talking to her! She will find her way!  

[confused456]

Good luck and Happy Easter to you!!

[kat456]

That mightnt be such a bad idea, a holiday may be just the ticket,if i can get her to agree. This has been very helpful its nearly 1am so I am going to try and have some sleep.thankyou everyone I will definitely call on you all again. God Bless and a happy easter.
Kat

[Shotrock]

I started snorting coke in high school, recreationally. Went to college and did it some-more, found that because I had Coke I always had a hot girlfriend, Hot but Coke addicted. I didn't care. Started shooting coke in College, when Belushi died it was a wakeup call for us all, didn't stop us we just got safer with our needles. Went on a 2 week vacation with family, and the 2 Eight balls that I had sent to the Hotel didn't make it. Hard to trace your package when it contains 1/4 ounce of blow. LOL.  That 2 weeks allowed me to step back and realize this wasn't me, stickin a needle in my arm WTF. The good news about coke is atleast for me there was really no physical WDS. Just mental stuff. That vacation may have saved my life. So I guess my point is if you can take a family trip and get her away that might help. Never did Coke again been 22 years, and of course my girlfriends were never quite as Hot. LOL     Of course I'm here because I'm an addict, ( Pills ) So take my comments for what there worth. Hang in there your daughter will make it back home........

[confused456]

Kat, no need to thank me sweetie. I just know exactly how you feel, and I am so sorry that you are dealing with this. I know your post hit home for me and made me cry. I know all the emotins that come along with knowing that someone that you love so much is an addict. I can and will offer you my support and prayers. I can offer you insight and discuss you the emotional things that you are feeling because I too feel them. I have confronted my parents, but they both admit that they are addicts, and just do not seem to care. It is so difficult and frustrating for me not to have all the answers that will make them see that they need to stop, but like New stated, they must see this in their own time. I am here if you would like to talk. Best of luck and Happy Easter even though this was the last thing that you wanted to hear I am sure, but at least you know and can try to go from there. God Bless You and your family.

[kat456]

Thankyou so much!!!

[confused456]

Kat,
I am so sorry to hear that you are having these things in your life to try and deal with. Although I do not have experience firsthand with cocaine, I too am in a situation like you. I have both of my parents who are coke addicts. It is the hardest thing to have to deal with. I am so thankful that newmanagement heard God tell him to check the forum this morning! He is an absolute wonderful person and he is one of the best and most supportive people that we have on this forum. Everyone here is very helpful and supportive, but dealing with this issue, he is in the top 2 in my opinion!! As he stated, Gizzy32 is another one you may want to talk to. I am praying for you and your daughter. I can only offer support and prayers at the moment. I really wish you all the best. God Bless.

[kat456]

All of the above,I was putting the sniffing down to allergies and the money worries down to finaaly spending too much on herself(clothes etc) shes always tired and I have worried about her sleeping all day on the weekends,,,,,,,,,I appreciate the advise so much and I will try to be more positive.I would love to keep reporting and getting feedback from you its the first time ive done anything like this before i cant thankyou enough, Ive just lost my dad recently......beccy was his rosebud and I think he might have been the one that woke you up...god bless you!!!

[newmanagment]

well, do the same thing, love her , support her and tell her your there for her. do ya notice ne symptoms of coke abuse. has she lost weight, is her money going bye bye, does she sniff alot, or have ne nose bleeds? is she "hung over" alot ?  does ne other family live close that may be able to monitor her and keep ya informed? and mostly, dont beat  yourself up, its easter,and no matter wut, your daughter loves you!!

[kat456]

I dont know if I could ask her to look at the forum at the moment as she still insists she isnt on drugs even though she said it and laughed at the same time...Thankyou so much for talking to me Im not able to sleep. I am in the process of selling my home and moving two hours away from her what the hell do I do now?
Kat

[newmanagment]

first off , dont approach her "friends" , as they are not your concern, and they may not like the fact that you confront them. second, if they are partyin at her unit, inform the police of your suspicions , they can pull over cars, knock on door for music complaints, and just generally make her friends want to hang somewhere else... as for giving her the cocaine, either they are dealers, or she is putting money up too, very few people give away cocaine. the job she is spending less time at may be lost, which will help her hit her bottom. please cheer up, your lil girl is in there, and im praying she will come out.  you must keep your chin up and realize the cocaine hits all types of people... we use when were happy, sad , angry , to celbrate, to mourn.... it is an evil drug that seems to hit people that have the most to lose.  support her tell her ya love her, and is there ne way she would come on and read this post?

[kat456]

thankyou.... now I cant stop crying. Beccy lives in a unit and has become involved with a group of friends I dont know, she has lost all of her old friends and seems to have developed a very abbrasive nature, she used to be such a loving person Im so broken hearted. These new friends apparently have a lot of money and are giving her the cocaine I dont know how to approach them they are out of my league im afraid. Beccy works and has had a very good job that she is spending less and less time at.God how did this happen I thought I did my very best I thought she was happy.......

[newmanagment]

what magi is talking about is called "enabling" , and she is 100 percent right, something i dint think of, i only just woke up so my mind is foggy!!
you must not enable her at all.... no money , no rides to clubs, no bailing out of jail!!
please repost and let us know the ? magi put up...

[flmagi]

Sorry to hear about your daughter. Everything Newmanagement says is true. I'm not a coke person, I'm a pain pill addict, but we all must find our own way.  
But, if you help her in any way, you must stop now. Does she live with you? Do you give her money? Does she work? School?
You can help push her to rock bottom, by stopping all assistance.
Good luck. Just be there for her when shes ready.  Keep posting

[slk714]

newmanagement said it best, and we are all here to support you through this extremely hard time. as addicts we become experts at the art of lying and decieving even those we love the most. please hang in there, you need to be strong for he right now, and, as newman said, let her know how much you love her and support her. i am praying for you and your daughter, you are among good people here.

take care, and keep posting

[newmanagment]

wow , something told me to get up and check the forum. God telling me im needed!! first let me say, you have come to the right place for support, and im glad you found us!!
i am a 25 year cocaine addict, and ihurt everyone i love with my addiction, so please do not feel anger at your daughter. she is not in control right now, she is on the wrong path and needs to find her way home. unfortunatly you can not call her home like when she was little, she has to find the path on her own this time! untill she realizes she needs help, or admits she has a problem, she will continue to party with her friends. im sorry , i hate to have to tell ya that about your little girl. as cocaine addicts, or any addict, we have to hit our "rock bottom" on our own, and decide we want control back of our own lives. they only thing i can suggest since she is in denial. would be to talk to her, which all of you have already done. so try this, everytime you see her or talk to her, tell her you love her, you support her, and you will be there when she is ready to help herself. tell her this EVERYTIME , with the love of a parent. let her know she is not alone, and cocaine is an evil drug, that will quickly drag you to hell. have her come on the forum, and read some stories. unfortunatly i had to take my journals down, she woulda got some insight as to where coke can take you. but others have gone thru it, i believe Gizzy , inmy friends list, still has his journals on....... Im again sorry for your pain, it sux the things we do to the ones we love when addicted to cocaine. please stay strong, i'll be praying that God brings your baby home to you soon... much , much love