my meltdown for the week

[akitagurl12]

i am just so frustrated right now.  I am on day 2 with no xanax and i feel so weird.  It doesn't seem like there is much talk about xanax on this forum besides go to a doctor & taper.  I tried both of those.  I can't find a decent doctor and I don't have anymore time to search one out.  My supply of xanax is out, i tried tapering best i could over this last month or so.  So here I am on day 2 without any.  I tried checking out other websites for support but again all the advice i am getting is to go to a doctor.  Eventually, even if i did go to a doctor, i would get to the point i am right now.  Tapering would eventually end.  What then?  I am pissed off at google right now because WHY isn't there anymore information out there for people.  I am even more pissed off at myself for getting in this situation in the first place.  This w/d is worse then quitting vicodin for me.  I just want to be normal.  I want to sleep like a normal person.  I want to eat like a normal person.  I want to work like a normal person & I want to have fun like a normal person.  But instead all I want to do is curl up into a ball and hide under my desk.  I just need to know how long this is going to take.  Please, anyone who can tell me a timeframe.  That is what got me through the vicodin w/ds, knowing it would be over at some point and how much better I would feel.  But with this, I have no idea how long or how bad or how much better i will feel.  Will I ever feel better.  God, I am soooo glad this forum is annoymous because i feel so dumb for writing all this right now.  

[Ben727]

Scroll up to the top and find the orange button that says "Post a Question". Also, look for the search bar and search on "Xanax" after you post...

[dmarqu]

how do i do that because letting people know how i feel and getting feedback helps alot

[Ben727]

Hey, sounds like a rough time for you, sorry. Why don't you start a new thread to get the most feedback! This is an old one and your post may be overlooked...

[dmarqu]

thanks that does make me feel alot better because everytime i ran out thats what i am worried about because i kept reading on sites about that problem they had with siezures so it always made me worry like i said ino u can do it just needed to hear from someone thats went thru this cuz honestly my gf telling me you'll be fine doesnt help at all shes never been where im at so she doesnt know thanks for the words i appreciate it ive looked at this site quite a bit being that i knew this day would come n its here n its hell right now i have very bad anxiety and it has made an impact on my social life and all around when i feel like this i dont talk to anyone just am a hermit and i hate it u wish i didnt have anxiety but i do and when i have attacks i really feel confused like im going crazy cant breathe cant sleep i feel my blood rushing thru my arms and my hands even feel wierd sorry for writing a while page but i have noone else to talk to about this i dont know anyone who will understand

[candy_17]

I quit taking xanax 39 days ago ct after 16 years of 3mgs, sometimes more daily. I too was very worried about the seizure thing because that's what I've always heard too but personally speaking I didn't encounter any problems other than the normal withdrawls, which was a living hell but its do able. Good luck to you, it will pass.

[dmarqu]

im on day one and this ***** im feeling so wierd and lathargic and just really down,ive been taking 2milis a day for almost a year but have been slowing down a lil but not enough to just quit ct ,im really worried about the wds and also the whole siezure thing if someone here could respond to let me know how worried i should really be ino i can do this but it would be nice to hear from someone that knows what im going thru thanks

[minn66]

Hi akita, I know exactly what it's like going through a benzo taper. Just wanted to offer support. I'm thinking of you, hun.

Big hugs,

Minn

[ImDONENoMore]

It's NOT the real you.  The real you has been covered with drugs for a long time so don't try to figure it out just yet.  Get through this initial physical stuff and your thoughts will begin to level out.  Everything won't seem so weird and surreal.  The real you is returning and you are going to be so grateful (and happy) that you made this decision to quit.   And you will begin to relax. You'll see.  :)

[Pat1956100]

No I think you are just detoxing.  I feel so biotchy too and I know I'm a nice person lol.  Not today though.  I should probably lay low today because I could easily rip someone's head off.  People on game shows are complete idiots.  Everyone but me is an idiot and of course the people on this forum are cool too lmao.

[akitagurl12]

thank u Pat!  How are u doing today?  I gotta say, without all these chemicals in my brain, my imagination has really been heightened.  I just had this 20 minute daydream of walking through my office kicking holes in the walls. lol  I really hope all this rage I am feeling isn't the real me starting to surface & i never noticed before because i was always on something.  My dad has anger issues....i hope i didn't inherit that from him too!

[Pat1956100]

Just want to say I am thinking of you.  You have helped so many people on this forum.  Hope you are feeling a little better.

[dominosarah]

Coming off zanax is tough but you will get thru this.  ImDone gave you great advice.  Focus on the journey now, not the destination~~sara

[Sonrissa]

Hi Akita! Man I'm so sorry you are going through this! You are one of the rocks here and I can't tell you how much you have helped me! This is so frustrating cause I wish I had something to offer you! You are getting some good advice! I would guess exercise would be the best thing, that and some sort of distraction to make the time go faster! Time is the key! I know, as I sit here and watch the clock! Feel better soon please! Feel free to let it out, scream, yell, and throw things like maybe a tennis ball at the side of a wall. Wish I had more!

[Dixiechick72]

Well come visit me in Cali then!!!;) ride away. You'll feel better. Plus ur body with start releasing the natural stuff it was meant to release when u do. You'll feel better and I'm glad u posted this. Hang in there ok!!! U got this!!!

[akitagurl12]

exercise is a great idea too!  This is the first time in a long time I have had enough energy for that & now I have motivation too.  I just bought a bike so this weekend i think i will be riding it across the United States of America, like Forrest Gump!  Thank u for your support.  I am so glad i decided to post about this.  Feeling so much more mentally stable now.

[Dixiechick72]

Hey Akita. Hope ur doing ok!!!  I was on the lowest dose of Xanax before and it seemed like at the time I stopped my moods were off for about a week.  I'm not sure of ur dose or how often u took it but I'm sure that will play a role in it too....but I worked out. I had to take my aggression out somewhere so I hit the gym.  So hang in there. U survived one set of WD u can do another. Plus ur advice has helped so many. I wish I had more then my hand to offer u... Then again I can actually hide behind a covered desk for u to throw things at and yell good job each time u do!!!;)  u got this sweetie. Just hang in there

[ImDONENoMore]

<<>> right back at ya! :)

[akitagurl12]

i seriously wish i could hug u right now.  Thank you so much.  

[ImDONENoMore]

OMG YES anger is a part of this.  A HUGE part.  And I, like you, was surprised by it because I'm also a pretty easy going person, it was never in my nature to get that angry.  But I did.  And again, you HAVE to let it out in a constructive way.  No, going psycho on your tenants isn't going to help and will only give you a whole NEW set of problems right?  And we both know you don't need that.

Yes, samE is sold is all the drugstores - I got mine at CVS.  And it helped so much - calming and helped with that overall "twitchy" feeling that came with the withdrawal.  And I mentioned briefly the breathing exercises but they are a huge help.  Breathe in for 5 seconds, breathe out slowly for 10 seconds and repeat for a total of five times.  That will help to calm you too.  

And remember it WILL end.  These feelings will end and you will begin to feel better.  There is NO doubt with that okay?  It will happen but patience and time, girl, are your new best friends okay?  Just breathe.  :)

[akitagurl12]

i am already feeling better just from reading your post.  So anger is a part of this?  I don't normally get this mad, I feel like a time bomb right now, I don't know where it is all coming from. I manage a large property with very agressive tenants and I am scared i am going to lose my usual mild demeanor and go physco on one of them if they give me trouble today.  Do normal vitamin stores sell samE?  I have never heard of it.  Where did u buy yours?

[ImDONENoMore]

Oh yeah, one more thing.  LET YOURSELF GET ANGRY.  No, not in a violent way or against anyone you love of course - but allow yourself that anger.  It will keep you motivated and it's a good release.  I actually went out to our garage a few times and kicked the SHI@ out of whatever I could find - empty boxes, whatever.  And honestly, it felt great.  Yes, I felt like a freak doing it - and NO I wouldn't let anyone see or hear it.  And NO I don't do that anymore LOL.  But it helped.  You gotta release it somewhere right?

[ImDONENoMore]

Hey akita - I'm sorry too that you're having such a tough time.

But I can tell I TOTALLY relate.  I quit xanax and tramadol on the same day almost two years ago and it was a nightmare!  Seriously, the withdrawal from the benzo was definitely tougher for me than the trams.  Both bad but there is something different about withdrawing from a benzo, no doubt about that.

Okay here's what might help because it was a huge help for me.  Vitamins and supplements.  Seriously you gotta do both.  I was taking a mulit-vitamin, fish oil tablets, b12 sublingual tablets (good for energy) and samE - in fact, the samE was of most help to me.  Not sure why - and just a warning - it's expensive (about $40 per box, varies from place to place).  But I took all of these things for the first 3 months and then stopped the samE but continued with the others.  And I began taking St. John's wort to help ward off any depression and I had very little, if none at all?, depresssion.  I stopped that too after six months.

Just go slow with it ya know?  Take hot showers whenever you can (epsom salts great as a scrub and help with body aches a ton) - eat what you can, stay hydrated (gatorade worked well for me since plain water made me nauseous), and bland food (comfort food).

I promise you the sleep will return and you'll begin to feel better but I won't lie to you - it's going to take some time so try not to think too far ahead, stay in the moment, breathing exercises are good and so is meditation.  You'll get there but you gotta put yourself in the frame of mind that it's going to take time.  Good luck to you - hope the day gets better.  :)

[akitagurl12]

thank u so much.  No, I haven't considered a homeopathic doctor before but that is a good idea.  

[smiles4eva]

I am sorry you are having such a difficult time.  I wish I had some answers for you but wanted to offer my support.  I just wanted to add you are one of the reasons I haven't gone to my doctor and asked for anxiety medicine because it is obviously such a "B"  
Have you considered a homeopathic doctor?  My friend swears by it for anxiety.  I am reluctant because most remedies require no coffee for 30 days.
Anyway, I hope you find the answers you are looking for.  Sending you hugs and strength to get through this :)