Hey, I'd recommend that you go to NA or counseling to get some support. That is most important of anything you will do. Tell your doc that you want to taper off of them, and just do it! Have a positive attitude, and you'll get through it!
It's gonna get better. Hang in there!
Hi, welcome here :)... Admitting it is a huge step forward and yes, you deserve a better life and this is a good place to be now and to fins support at this time. First suggestion is that you read the thomas recipe ( health pages at the bottom of the page ) .. Be positive that you can do it, that your are saving your life, active addiction is always, always progressive, it never stops nor get better. People who use for pain, may feel more pain during the first days of wds, this is the so called rebound pain but it gets better with the days and in fact, some people discover that their pain is bearable and better than while on the pills. You will see what happens. Keep posting, you don't need feeling alone now cause you are not. Good luck !! :)