re-gouping and staying clean

[Bre2009]

Although I have a 'time' in recovery, I am currently struggling. Two weeks ago I went through -another- surgery and unlike other recent surgery's this one has been a constant struggle not to step over the line of abusing pain meds and even contemplating getting drunk. Due to my medical problems I am always aware of taking drugs as perscribed and always aware to be overly cautious with myself. I'm active in AA; however, over this last couple months I have withdrawn. Not sure why? Is it normal to go through a slump of this extent after 'time' in recovery? How does one know if they are depressed or just going through a normal faze of emotional awareness and change?

[Bre2009]

Thank you'all for your insight and support. I have rtied to stay active with various support systems-mainly AA, yet as mentioned I seem to be pulling away. In March I will have three years, prior to that I could not put together 3days for almsot 20yrs. I have yet to figure out what changed in my life to help me get this far, but I can say over these last couple years I have definately learned new-healthier coping skills. As far as my current slump, this baffles me because I haven't felt closer to 'giving in' since day one. I know I have been feeling extra anxious and perhaps even a little down recently. I'm not sure if this is a combo of different stressers or some changes in my body/mind that may also need to be addressed. No matter what I know I have this constant internal fight that I have to deal with. Thank you again for your support.

[road2recovery]

Hi...Like you i have also hit a bump in the road...many personal family issues, that is hard for me...but i think first by us recognizing that we are stuck is the best sign of all...I am not sure if i would even call it depression..I think it is just called "life" at least for me...And the Addict in me, IS the first one to jump in a say , just taking one here and there will make u better...But we know that is not the case...
I think you realized that slowing down in AA has not helped, so i would jump back TODAY...
I see a addicton counsouler...It ws working for a while...Then i needed more..SO she set me up with a womens group..All i have to say is WOW!!  I can't wait to get back there ..I am starting the steps again...Even though i have done them before, obviously i need them again.. 2 yrs ago I will admit that i thought i could do this without a program...I was 100% WRONG....I need it!!
Please try to get back on track, and let us know how you are doing...You have alot of time under you, don't lose it...
god bless
r2r

[gizzy32]

OH WOW!!! I just saw you had 1044 days clean, you need to be telling me what to do instead, lmao. Serious though, congrats on all that clean time, amazing. I really do think you need to get back to AA and get some support going again.

[gizzy32]

Over the past year since i got serious about my recovery i went through so many stages. When i worked it and got support when needed i made it over 6 months clean, beating my previous record of 11 days clean. Then i got lazy, i started to think i had it, i went through a rough time, felt a relapse coming and did nothing about it. It's very normal i think and maybe right now you should force yourself to get back to AA more and work your recovery. When we get lazy, we can fall back to old patterns so fast. How much recovery time do you have right now? if you contemplating getting drunk, then you need to get some support right now. You know what your doing as you recognized this before it's too late. Best of luck and i hope you stick around here:)

[newmanagment]

im sure ya heard .... it works if you work it.
AA is an amazing program, and they do retain the key to stayin sober. for most it is an amazing way to share and help. For me it became a trigger.
I think maybe where you are now is the same stage i went thru not long ago. when we clean up, we have to learn to love and appreciate life sober. I believe what your goin thru is on the norm for most of us. but to get past that is esential to us stayin clean.
Try finding a hobby, or anything that can help ya feel happy bout life again. some need new jobs, homes , etc.... for me it was all inside of my own head, and to deal with that I had to do some major soul searching.
best of luck to  ya, and keep ya chin up!!