boyfriend does crack occassionally

[GingersnapLiz]

My boyfriend tends to do crack once a month. I did not know he did this when we first started dating. He is otherwise a really great guy. I have forbidden this in our home and yet I have come home from work (I work late shift) at night to find him hiding in the bed smoked up. I don't know how to handle this situation. He knows it makes me furious and that I worry about his health as well. He knows that we could lose our apt (really nice place) and he still does it. This past month he actually scored 4 times in 5 weeks when it would have been 2 times before (the first of each month). He does not have an addictive personality with anything else. He seldom drinks and when he does it's only 1 or 2 drinks/beers. I want to make sure I do not enable him but, I also don't want to push him away. I want him to know that I am there for him. His family tends to pretend that it doesn't happen so I really get no help from them as far as getting him to talk about it. He is only recently begun to actually talk to me about his problem, this is something he refused to do before. He gets very upset because I use the word crack and refuse to use the word cocaine. He said he doesn't like the word and he gets very upset if the term crack-head is used, he said these words were forbidden in our home, I say the words leave when the drug does. If there is someone out there who can help me out I would greatly appreciate it. I have looked for local meetings and have found none. We do not own a car, so I really have to look close to home.
Liz

[GingersnapLiz]

Because of what I did it is talked about a lot more in the open now, even with his family who never talked about it before. He actually didn't get very upset at all when I told him I'd turned in his dealer's number (anonymously) to crime stoppers and a local deputy. Because this man is coming into my neighborhood I feel I had every right to turn the dirt bag in and I would do it again in a heartbeat. I know when he has money and we are together 7 days a week and because of how long his eyes dilate and the way his behavior differs is how I know when he's done crack, that was how I knew even when it wasn't at the first of the month. That's the thing that has us all so confused, how do you only do something like that every so often, I would think it would be a daily thing, the way one of his brother's was before he quit. He was doing $1000.00 a day and stealing, etc. to get it.  He doesn't abuse anything else either, not even pain pills or alcohol. I am very confused about that as I keep reading how others are also abuse alcohol and any drug they can get their hands on, especially if they cannot get a hold of the drug of choice, he does none of these things.
Thank you all for reading and responding to my rambling, this is the only place I have to go and he does know I am a member of this forum, I let him know. As of yet I have been unable to get him to read any of the postings but, I will keep trying and so far he has been clean for 11 days, which is a common thing but, the first is getting closer and I am watching and waiting to see what happens, he has skipped a month before so I do realize we are not out of the woods even if he doesn't score around the first of December.

[wayway1414]

Well, IDK about turning the dealer in. That's kind of not your place, just because your B/F makes a decision to buy drugs from him. I also think he does crack more than you know about! Probobly a LOT more! But i also think that you need to give him an ultimatum, or he will continue on the path, thinking you will always be understanding about his problem.....IE:not leaving!

[gizzy32]

10356 is right, you need to be careful about the dealer and stuff like that. Soon he won't be paying the bills and it will all go for crack. The destruction this drug causes is something you don't want to be a part of. People need to know what he is doing, family friends, etc. It sounds like he is in some trouble now and it will get so much worse. In my opinion you have 2 options, get away if he does not stop or get him some help now before it's too late. im sorry you have to see this:(

[10356]

It would be good if he at least read as he will recognize himself in a lot of the postings..... As far as money being the trigger it is more a Means to an end.. If he dose not make an effort now Soon all the money will be going for crack.. As far as turning in the dealer I would be careful how you go about helping him.... Not always a good idea to get between like that... It will not stop him from finding another... You really have to want to get clean...

[GingersnapLiz]

Thank you,
I have turned his dealer's number into the local law enforcement, and after doing so he still called the guy and had his crack delivered to him. You are absolutely correct, it is the only thing he lies to me about, how much he has spent and how much he has done. I can actually tell by how much his eyes dilate as to the amount he has done. I will ask him if he will at least read the postings here, even if he is not ready to post anything here yet himself. Is there such a thing as something that triggers someone? His mom says money is his trigger, as can go an entire month without doing it and then as soon as his check comes in he pays his bills and then takes everything that is left and buys his crack. This past month he has had more money available to him than usual and he used it all for crack, nothing for any bills except at the first of the moth to help cover half of the rent.
Until recently I have had no one to talk to about this, thank you all for being here. I have one friend who recently found out about his addiction, but none of my other friends know.
Liz

[10356]

It is no longer once a month....... Crack is very addictive.....  He probably uses more then he will admit to as that is very normal for an addict.. Sorta like a drunk driver.. How many drinks have you had.. 1 or 2 after they test he/she is off the charts.. It is good he is talking to you.. Getting away from crack is doable He needs to cut all ties to those he gets and uses with.. You have to take a stand... If you say not in the house and he does then leave or kick him out..
He has to know you are serious.. As far as a name it is all the same a drug that can ruin everything........ I wish you both the best.. lesa

[gizzy32]

Well at least he is talking about it now, but he is going to need some help and support to stay off this evil drug. Unfortunately, you can't make him quit, he has to truly want it and even then it's very difficult.  He is already starting to use more and will continue to do so until something changes. Crack is an extremely addictive drug and by the sounds of it, it's already starting to take him down. Would he be willing to come on here and read some posts? If he continues to use like this there will be no turning back so now is the time to get him some help. Do not enable him and if he is not willing to get help and continue using, then you have to think about yourself right now. Not only will this drug take him down, but it will take you down too if he does not stop. Meetings, a counsellor or posting on here is a good start and i hope he is serious about quitting. Best of luck to both of you.