xanax and alcohol

[dorian930]

My boyfriend mixes xanax and alcohol on purpose for a high.  He'll take a bar (2 mgs) and then have 4 or 5 drinks.  When he does this his personality changes dramatically - he says and does idiotic things, becomes angry easily, and can barely walk.  Besides the obvious extreme danger of this habit, I just can't understand why he would think this is a good high or a fun activity at all.  I've recently told him that I want him to stop and that I never want to be around him when he does this, but I'm not sure he can stop.  He does occasionally take xanax without alcohol to help him sleep, and claims he isn't addicted.  He isn't prescribed.

My question is, has anyone had experience with this before?  Is he addicted and probably taking it more often than he lets on?  How serious is this and why would anyone think the alcohol + xanax combo is fun?

Most importantly: how do I get him to stop?

[JENNA_MARIE]

SPEAKING FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCES I CAN TELL YOU HE IS AN ADDICT..WHETHER HE USES FOR THE HIGH OR USES TO COPE WITH OTHER THINGS HE'S DOING IT THINKING NOTHINGS WRONG. IT'S VERY HARD THESE DAYS ESPECIALLY WHEN IT SEEMS EVERYTHING IS SO EASY TO GET..UNLESS HE IS READY TO STOP HE WON'T CHANGE. ALL YOU CAN DO IS TRY TO HELP HIM AS MUCH AS YOU CAN KEEP YOUR COMMUNICATION OPEN WITH HIM DONT BE SCARED TO TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL EVEN IF ITS 10 TIMES A DAY. ALSO KEEP UP ON YOUR RESEARCH AND MAYBE TRY TO FIND SOME GROUPS OR CENTERS LEARN ALL YOU CAN ABOUT THEM AND PASS ON ALL YOUR KNOWLEDGE TO HIM. MAYBE SEE IF HE WILL GET ON HERE AND READ OTHER PEOPLES STORIES WITH YOU. HE MIGHT NOT FEEL COMFORTABLE TALKING TO YOU ABOUT IT AND DON'T FEEL BAD MOST PEOPLE ARE MORE COMFORTABLE TALKING TO STRANGERS THAN SOMEONE CLOSE. MY HUSBAND IS MY BEST FRIEND BUT SOMETIMES THESE THINGS ARE EASIER TALKED TO WITH SOMEONE YOU DONT KNOW. =] I HOPE EVERYTHING WORKS OUT AND IF YOU LOVE HIM DONT GIVE UP ON HIM JUST TRY, TRY AND TRY.

[SophieShine]

Oh yes he's an addict, he's in love with the high. The fact that he's claiming he's not really bring out the flags in me. I have been taking benzos for 9 years at a very high dosage. I never drink any alcohol but, once, I drank a glass of wine and wow, the benzos came right back at me with a vengeance! I couldn't walk, I had cotton legs, my head was spinning like mad, I thought I was dying. I really didn't like it but I really understand s/o would. I talked to my dr, when I went to get my refill and she told me I was soooo lucky it wasn't worse...
You're in a very difficult position here cuz you wanna help him and he doesn't seem to want your help. Sitting by him while he's getting high is, IMO, enabling him in a way. He doesn't even have to worry if something is going wrong, he's got you. Sounds to me to like a non drinker going to a bar with a friend saying drink all you want, I'm there to drive you home anyway. I really hope you understand what I mean. You are a very caring person and you worry for a friend, this is all very generous. I'm just afraid that in his brain, your care is interpreted in a wrong way. We, addicts, are very selfish people when we're in full addiction mode and I wouldn't want you to get hurt, he's very lucky to have someone like you around.

[dorian930]

thanks, sophie... this feels like a lose-lose situation.  if i voice my concern and stay away the worst could happen and he may abuse more, but i cant sit by while he does this to himself (and it really is awful for me to be around while hes like that).

do you think he is an addict?

[SophieShine]

The roots of why we wanna get high is very difficult to explain since it's different for all of us. Most of us want to get numb, forget about something....
His habit is definitely leading to disaster. Now watch out by trying to stay with him in case something happens, he might count on that and tell himself he can go all the way cuz you're around and he knows you're gonna take care of him.
His combo is lethal.

[dorian930]

yea i know right! he blacks out and always does something stupid. when i called him out on it he got really defensive. i'm not trying to change him, just this ridiculous habit which seems to be leading to disaster....

good to know that i should at least try to be with him to make sure hes ok if he does it again.  since he's done it countless times without ending up in the hospital, he seems to think he doesn't run that risk and has tried to convince me that it isnt very dangerous.

for those of you who have tried this combo before, and especially for those who have done it more than once, im interested to know what the appeal is. it's just hard for me to understand what he gets out of it that makes it worth the risk, so any insight on this would help alot.

Thanks to everyone for the concern and feedback.

[kmb22]

i have mixed xanex and alcohol several times.  the combo equals black out city.  and it's dangerous...and you look like a complete idiot.....

[122 Tactical Fighter Group]

When I tried that combo I kept waking up in ER;s with a ventilator running to keep me breathing - - -  Be aware of the signs of overdose and particularly watch for respiratory depression and then respiratory failure - - -   Happened to me!   Lord - its good to be alive today.................................................................  Give the EMT's as much time as you can to save him!! .............

[Calamity2]

I'm sorry, I have to tell you, your question really gave me a laugh AT MYSELF.  It is hard to understand why I thought (years ago in my alcohol addiction) taking valium then going to the bar was FUN. I was a MESS when I did that. I knew people that died from taking valium with alcohol. I was swimming with 2 friends and we were drinking and using 714s and one of my friend drowned. We were so freeked out I put on the dead friends pants when we were getting dressed. His wife who I had to pick up at airport from a visit to her mom with thier new baby, asked me, "why was E wearing your pants. We were skinny dipping and having FUN! E was from Jamacia and a very good swimmer. normally.  But we are not normal  we are addicts.  Please go to a alanon version of AA or alanon works the same too.  I hope you can make some sense of this. Love Clam

[avisg]

thats a very quick way to die ...Thats a deadly mix ....problem is he has to want to get help to stop  maybe you can get him to post on here

[SophieShine]

This is a VERY dangerous combo, it can cause so much damage....
He seems to be in denial, it's gonna be difficult for you to try to convince him, he really has to realize what he's doing to himself.
You can't get him to stop, he's gotta do it all by himself....