year for change

[Emerody]

I never thought I would feel so good about my life or that a new year would mean so much to me. Husband and I kicked our pill habit- 35 days for me and 33 for him. We had been talking about quitting smoking for some time now. Especially now that cigs take like poo. On pills they were great, but now it was more out of boredom and habit. We had patches for quite some time now and decided last night to make the jump. We both have our patches on and are excited to be completely healthy. Our lives depend on it. I am so excited to be pill and smoke free. It feels so great, really!

Not only that, I had a bad diet dr. pepper habit. LOL. I am cutting way back and actually drinking water. Only water throughout my day at work.

Had to share because I feel excited about it and that is a lot for me coming off of pills. Life is good!

[Emerody]

Man, I wish working out was my addiction. Not that I hate it, but I certainly didnt always enjoy like I did my other addictions. It certainly does serve you well in many areas of life.

I used to be one of those people that could fall asleep whenever, wherever. I imagine that would be annoying. My husband isnt having as hard of a time as I am with the sleeping and sometimes I will look over at him snoring and just want to punch him. thank goodness I love him. That stinks that it is a problem that you will always have to deal with.

If I were you I'd never want to wake up at 5am either. 10 miles at 5 am? Holy Moly, LOL! I couldnt do that. That takes a serious person.

Never hurts to try something out there. It may work, you never know.

[Emerody]

It's totally not you. I promise, it gets better.

[Whollymolythathurt]

I always say "working out" was my 1st addiction.  Started at 12 yrs old 3x a week in gym....been at least that for the last 33 years...except for the brief stop over in Dante's Inferno in Dec.  It served me well in getting a scholarship.  I understand the competitive part you mentioned...at 45 im still that way.

Yes - Lunesta helps.  I dont take it every night though...i try to fall asleep by reading books, soft music in dark room...you name it.  I hear a lot of people like yourself say sleep is the last thing to come back.  I really wouldn't know.  My wife falls asleep sitting in a chair with the tv on & kids blaring....irritates me.  I'm so jealous.  I've been through sleep studies at universities & they just shake their head...so i deal with it.  

Not a morning person...never was.  During college for football we'd have to be at gym at 5am to lift...for baseball it was 5am to run 10 miles.  After graduation i never wanted to be up at 5am ever again!  :)

The Glucosamine/Chondroitin is for joint "healing"...like everything out there that's non FDA approved its hit or miss if it really works but what the heck....

Hey Taking - I go through the waves also.  They last a few minutes or an hour.  I like to think my brain is firing up some old pipes but their a little rusty so that's the depression.  Each time i get depressed i think "that's one less clogged pipe".

[takingmylifeback2014]

Thank God Because I was starting to feel like this is me!!! And that would not be good LOL

[Emerody]

I definitely get that way sometimes, but I notice it less and less now. The waves were so noticeable at first. I would be in a great mood one day and would think the next day could only get better, but then felt like complete crap the next day. I know we have heard that we will notice our bad days getting less and less and I do think that is true.

[takingmylifeback2014]

How do you feel mentally? Just courious if you are feeling happy yet? I have been having waves of depression, then lack of motivation then I get ok and I think I am over it, But BAM it slaps me in the face and there I am again with a roller coaster of emotions ....

[Emerody]

Thank you, Jugglin. Your support means a lot to me.

[Emerody]

I havent been back in the gym yet,  but started walking the treadmil at work today during my break. I would never leave my desk if I didnt do that and now I dont have a reason because of the smoking. Hopefully those endorphins kick in for you soon. I remember getting such a rush when working out. Always best when I had someone running next to me. I always had to be faster/go longer than them. They didnt know they were competing with me, but it made me work harder. I need to get back in the gym. I love zumba, if you have heard of it.

Sleep is the bain of my existence. I can't sleep without trazadone. I hope that comes back to me soon. I have always loved my sleep. I hear it is the last thing to come back. I am just wondering when??? Do you get any sleep with the Lunesta? Funniest thing, I never thought I was a morning person...but, here I am waking up at 6 still on the weekends. Maybe I was a morning person all along, but just too doped to know.

Youre a mans man, gotta have the steak. I take a multi, calcium/magnesium, fish oil and B12. Never heard of the other you mentioned. What do those do?

[jugglin]

Congrats to both you and hubby - you are blessed to have the support of each other! And amazing job on the quitting smoking on top of it.  You two are rocking it and setting amazing examples!

[Whollymolythathurt]

Over the last few days i have noticed a big difference in the energy.  I hit the gym M-F and after that is when i miss the pills most (mentally)...i just hurt & it feels like day 5-6 all over again each time, its weird. Before pills i felt great after exercising & im sure i'll get back to that once the exercise endorphin machine turns back on.

I've lost weight too..not 30lbs though, that's got to feel good!  I've never liked sweets so that's not a problem.  My biggest issue is sleep.  Since college i've had sleeping issues. I take Lunesta but never had to when on the pills.  I know im getting better because i cannot fall asleep at night w/o Lunesta.  I tried everything before resorting to it.  A silent dark room at night for me is the worst!  My mind races like nobody's business...all with no caffeine or anything.  Genetics i think....my mom was like that.

I do take a vitamin each day & supplement with potassium, magnesium, Glucosamine/Chondroitin & fish oil (I hate seafood).  Give me a steak any-day.  :-)

[Emerody]

I am thankful to have him. After 10 years, we have been through hell and back.

Nobody knew of my addiction either. My mom, dad, work, etc... The anxiety was crazy. I know exactly how you feel. It is so good to be an honest person again. I was lying for so long.

I promise you that I will remember this journey. Thank you for your support and words of encouragement.

[Emerody]

Hi Whollymoly. I love that name, so fitting.

Thank you! Are you feeling better at day 15? Still sluggish and no energy probably? Well, here is some light at that end of that tunnel. I woke up on Sunday at 6am and cleaned my daughters trainwreck of a room. I mean, that sucker took me 2 hours to clean. I couldnt do anythign remotely close to that without my pills and I did it all on my own... because I wanted to. Crazy!

I know that. Can't do any coke products (literally haha, she's got jokes). Always needed the caffeine and part of the reason I still drink it, especially in the morning. Not a big fan of coffee, so it has always been the Diet Dr. Pepper. I hear that it makes you crave sugar, which I find true. Now that I am drinking water throughout my day, I dont crave any sweets. I havent had anything sweet since being in rehab, in fact. And  I was a bowl of icecream every night kind of girl. I also lost 33 lbs going through this process, which is great! Now to eat healthy so I can keep it off. :)

I drank tons of gatorade that first two weeks. It is really the only thing I had, I didnt have much of an appetite. It definitely helped. I also take a buttload of vitamins. Are you taking vitamins?

[Jimmy1975]

You are very lucky to have someone to do this with you . I had a pretty light habit of 30mg. a day of hydro and no one of course knew I was on it for 3 years ! People asking you if you're all right and what's wrong  . It sucked big time when the Anxiety monster came calling . Congratulations to both of you and Please try and remember this journey . Problem with a lot of us is time will pass and we forget the Hell we had to endure and the pill Devil will rear its ugly head ! Again congrats ! Jimmy

[Whollymolythathurt]

Congrats Em to you & your husband.  I'll be there in 20.

I can relate on the pop/soda thing.  I was a diet pepsi guy & would chug at least 8 12oz cans a day.  In college i was in love with Coke (not that coke!!) but put weight on me.  I had to keep to a weight of no more than 245lbs for football so i went to diet coke.  That started keeping me up at night & then went to diet caffeine free coke.  Then found Pepsi was better in the diet dept...

This whole detox thing i just drink grape Gatorade G2.  It has to be G2 & grape...stubborn i guess.
I clear out the shelves at grocery store....

[Emerody]

Diet Dr. Pepper was my first love. It is hard to cut back. I have one in the morning and one in the evening. There are six packs of these huge bottles, not sure the size. But, I would have one while getting ready, two at work and two at home. Nearly an entire six pack. Now, I have one getting ready and one at home. That is huge. No plans to completely cut it out, it is the smallest of my habits. :)

Thank you for the compliment. It feels good to hear I am strong. I have felt weak for so long.

[Emerody]

We are in this together. I read an old thread on here of a husband asking if couples could make it through this together and the responses were a staggering "NO". We are beating the odds one day at a time. He has been a wonderful support system and I for him. It has been great to go through this with someone who understands exactly how I am feeling.

IOP is going good. Working on building self confidence back. The couples counseling has been the most beneficial. Husband deals with trust issues and we have been really working through those.

Thank you. It is good to know they are a delight. I just remember reading and looking for some shred of hope. I hope I can provide that to people just starting out. There is hope out there.

[ariley13]

I am a fellow Diet Dr. Pepper junkie! I've been cutting back too and know how hard it can be. Great job on quitting the pills, cigs, and cutting back on the soda. You are a very strong and focused lady. Keep up all of the hard work and you will soon be reaping the benefits of a healthy, clean life.

[clean_in_ks]

You two are "in this" together!!  How cool is that????

How long is your outpatient care?  How's that going?

Your updates are a delight to read!!!  Keep on keepin on~  

[Emerody]

thank you, mommy!

[mommymarieme]

Emerody congratulations on your 35 days and your husbands 33 days!! That is AWESOME! You are making a lot of good changes right now and it is great that you have your husband to share and lean on right now! Keep up the good hard work! :)