I am a 20 year old kid, I never really drank until high school until I started going to parties. After that I would get pretty drunk when I went out like 6 beers and all... This continued until high school ended. After that I would still party on weekends mostly... I don't know numbers and volumes of what I drank, but when I drink... I MUST GET DRUNK, having two or three beers at a club or a party is my idea of a ****** night. I also know that I am hopelessly addicted to marijuana and spend WAYYYY to much money and time on it... I crave the "pressure" I feel in my head when I take that first toke. I have tried lots of other drugs from coke, to MDMA, acid, shrooms, ketamine these were mostly a good time and all but they are not things I actively seek out... The cocaine though I will do ANYTIME it is present, happily, gleefully etc. I also come home after work sometimes and CRAVE intoxication of some kind be it a cigarette or a joint mostly. This all being said I am a functional human being I am able to keep a job and show up on time and mentally present about 95% of the time, people see me as being a pretty normal guy I think... I simply can not make heads or tails of the thing, I feel like I have a handle on it. I WOULD talk to my rents about it or my doctor but they are friends AND my parents are HARDLINE christian so talking to them about this type of problem is hardly an option as I am more likely to get an emotional response from them than any actual useful help or advice.