Squirrely Head Today

[Punkinhead75]

I was on my way home from food shopping today and I was thinking about a friend that picked up.  He says he drinks wine here and there but that is it.  So as I'm thinking about him something gets twisted inside my own head and I find myself with the notion that it would be okay if I drank.  That hasn't happened to me for a long time.

I called my sponsor and got his voicemail so I left a message telling what happened.  I then worked on step one but I was unable to get off the fence inside my head.  I stayed busy throughout the day and actually got a lot accomplished.  However, when I was done the squirrel started running again.  I went to a mtg (as suggested in a text message from sponsor) and shared what happened today.  It felt good to get it out, however the brain was still on the fence.

It was a Big Book mtg and we were reading there is a solution.  We got to a paragraph where it talks about all the stuff that happens as a result of our drinking and then it happened.  The click that my brain needed to get back on the right track.

So once again it goes to show that I can't do this on my own, I still need to be willing to follow suggestions and I still need to be honest and share what is going on with me.  I'm not perfect and will probably never be.  I just hope AA is around as long as I am.  Once again the things I have been taught have saved me from drinking and more than likely have saved my life.  Thanks for letting me share.

[Punkinhead75]

Thanks everybody!!

[dominosarah]

I works if you work it~~

Glad you made it thru.......

[surfin]

Thanks for sharing that man, I have been there, and that's my disease telling me I don't have it so it can snag me in.  It scares the sh!t out of me.  Thank God you didn't have to bang your head with a hammer to get the pain to stop.  "This too shall pass"

[ibizan]

Right on bro!ppl relapse cuz THEY R ONLY THINKING OF IMMEDIATE GRATIFICATION.......and NEVER THE CONSEQUENCES!that saying in AA holds true think...think...think....about what it is and will be b4 u do!stop urself!i had tremendous urges my first 2 years sober/clean to use....i refused to allow it 2 happen!!!!

[rpooo]

Hey buddy congradulations! You beat it! As always its one day at a time. Right? What works for me is I think of Acolhol as an old friend. That f*cker tried to kill me once and i'll never let it have another chance at me again. I'm pretty pissed off about it! Ha ha Works everytime in combination with what I will have to have face tomorrow. That aweful feeling of shame and dissapointment in the weak moment in myself. Was it worth it? How much healing time did I just destroy? How many days sober did I just give up? You dont get to say I only drank once or twice in the past 6 months. The only thing that really counts is How many days sober. Then your just back to zero. Is it really worth the trade? Put yourself in my shoes with having Cirrhosis and then tell me a better way to think of it!

[ibizan]

:)))))))..knew u'd dig that!!!!

[Punkinhead75]

LOL!!!!

[ibizan]

good that u went to AA and found NUTS of wisdom to give u that sobriety wedgie u needed!:)

[narla]

Congratulations for ignoring that squirrel and doing what you had to do,It must be great to have a sponsor.

Good decision and remember "guard up"

Denise