Literally in Twos and Bits

[Twosandbits]

I have recently completed a six day community alcohol detox, this I found easy to do as I was so ready to stop drinking. The problem is I have been left with severe agitation, anxiety and depression, is this normal? I cracked on Thursday night and drank way to much, can't even remember the night!!!  I have done detoxes before and felt great afterwards but this time I feel so anxious and low which is draining all my energy for being up beat and staying off the drink which I have no cravings for, I just want this bad bad feeling to go away. I would really appreciate to hear from people with similar experiences. It's so hard to stay off the drink when now I feel worse than when I was drinking. Thank you

[ibizan]

Yes it is very normal!i experienced this back in 1983 when i got sober/clean.If u've drank......and drugged for years...ur brain receptor endings and tissues are damaged from all the abuse u've inflicted upon them.U cannot rationally xpect urself to feel immediate relief!U need to drink a lot of water,fresh fruit juices and watch the caffeine sweet intake.Also involvement in a support group or 12 step program helps.Who is ur sober support system?R u single?married?kids?

[Twosandbits]

Hi thank you for that reassurance. I am in a partnership but my partner lives and works about 80 miles from me and I only see him once a week for a very short period of time, I have two daughters one grown up and married with her own daughter and I have an eight year old who I share joint custody with, so she is not with me all the time. I have an alcohol worker who I see every week and my family do support me but have to keep there distance some times purely for their own preservation. I don't really have any friends and never hardly go out socialising my own fault of, been to busy drinking. I know it's going to take along time for my body and brain to heal, I just did not expect to get smacked in the face with such a bad depression and every thing that comes with it. Thank you for listening to me it helps just writing this.

[ibizan]

What about sober women in ur life?Have u been to AA mtgs?U need to be around ppl who've been thru what ur going thru.....and have pushed their way thru it.......any AA mtgs.close to u?

[Twosandbits]

Hi I think there are AA meetings close by to me and there are group meetings at the drugs and alcohol unit I attend. I guess I need to get more involved and talk to more people, like you said who have pushed through the other side. I find it so difficult to go outside sometimes as I feel so anxious but hey no pain no gain. Thank you again for talking to me.

[ibizan]

That what all of us r here for!i could not have stayed sober by myself minus the help of many good ppl in AA and NA.....we isolate in our active addiction...it makes us sicker.......and drunker...in recovery we need support!We need "We-Ness"hope u get to a meeting ASAP!

[Twosandbits]

Yes I will push myself to get to a meeting or group. Thank you for your advice it helps in the dead of night when you think you are all alone. Must try and get some sleep as it is 03:10 here in the UK, trouble is I'm so very wide awake, typical ha.

[ibizan]

Are u consuming a lot of sweets and caffeine?many of us do that in sobriety....it will disrupt an already conditioned neurosystem......if u did a lot of nite drinking...and now it is gone...the brain is saying wheres the booze????Reading a good book, taking a warm bath,some gentle yoga exercises,stretching etc will help w/this!Yes PUSH urself out the door to a meeting!U need the support and camaraderie of other recovering alcoholics!

[Twosandbits]

Hello Ibizan when I finished my detox my whole body was screaming out for something and I did not know what is was, I do believe it wanted a sugar rush but as I do not like sweets or chocolate I was not giving my body the sugar rush it wanted to replace the alcohol. I have now learnt to eat more than I used to and more frequently, I have even started to eat breakfast which I never used to before!!! I am forcing myself to go for an hour long walk every day, in which I am lucky as I live in beautiful part of rural England. I have even started to meditate and doing the omm sound, I know I look and sound silly but the vibration the sound makes runs all through my body and calms my sensitive nerves. I do plan to go to meetings and groups beginning on Tuesday and am so looking forward to the day this depression lifts and I feel at one with myself and happy. Thank you so much for keeping in touch, it means a lot to me. Perhaps I can help others when I am feeling a bit stronger. Hope you had a nice Easter Sunday.

[ibizan]

Do u have any meetings earlier u can get 2 b4 tuesday?that is good u do not have the sweet tooth......the body needs proteins such as lean meats fish turkey chicken...and good complex carbs.......baked potaotes w/skins on raw veggies if u can tolerate and whole grains found in wheat and or oat breads.....this helps to stabilize the mood swings brought on by the recovery process.Google Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome in alcoholism......u will find some of ur symptoms there!the meditation and ommmmm chanting is not silly...it is calming....i still do it w/27 years sober/clean!

[Twosandbits]

Hello ibizan
I have started to attend group therapy called smart recovery, I don't know if you have heard of it but I have been talking to people who have been through addiction. Thank you for the advice about PAWS I can identify with all the information. I have also changed my diet as you suggested. I am very grateful for all your advice and this website as it helps in between counselling and group. I'm sorry I haven't asked you any questions about yourself and feel a bit selfish now, but I am so so grateful that you have replied to my post. Thank you Ibizan x

[dominosarah]

I am glad to see you are attending recovery care.  That is very vital to our wellbeing.  Eating healthy really helps too.  Fruits and veggies are good for us.  Are you taking any supplements?  Those help even us out too and feed our bodies something good.  

[ibizan]

Oh good stuff!SMART Recovery-i've heard of it read @it and like what i read!none of it is close to me...2 hours away but it is empowering!Don't worry @not asking @ me......i'm here 2 help u and so glad i could!Pls stay in touch w/us here...we want to know how ur doing!Dominosarah is good recovery 2!:)

[Twosandbits]

Hello dominosarah or Sarah? It's nice to meet you so to speak. And hello Ibizan (is it ok to post two people at one?

I do take a good multi vitamin and also vitamin B strong compound and Thiamine prescribed by my doctor, the vitamin B turns my pee illuminous yellow which I find quite amusing. I have just returned from an acupuncture session that is offered at my Drug and Alcohol Centre. During the session I also had hypnosis to put me into a deep state of relaxation, it worked but it felt strange as it was though I was asleep but aware of noises around me. I feel so much more positive now that I know I have lots of resources to help me and will keep using them as l long as I need to. I know it's a long journey but I have re-found my sense of well being and am ready to embrace the rest of my life.
Do you guys live in America?

Once again thank you for listening and replying.
Best wishes
Rachel x

[ibizan]

Yes we live in America!a little bit @me.......sober/clean 28 years.......and my lifes passion are my 3 retired greyhounds and 3 cats!Recently adopted  the most wonderful black greyhound boy who was neglected.....i call him my black angel......he is so special and loving....i live in Hound Heaven!Do u have any companion animals?

[dominosarah]

I live in Minnesota so we are a "few" miles away!  I have been sober for 10 yrs and drug free for almost 4 yrs now.  It was the best thing i ever did.  Had i not i wouldnt be talking to you.  I am also an animal lover, have 2 dogs and 1 cat.  I adopted my last dog, the beagle from a rescue site, she was badly abused by her previous owner.  The other one, Calamity is just a goof troop.  My cat i inherited from my dad after he passed away.  He owns us all here!  I find great comfort in my pets.  They complete me.

You have an awesome recovery system in place.  Just take it one day at a time.  Focus on the journey, not the destination~~sara

[ibizan]

hey girl..is that kitty feelin better?know he had some medical problems!

[Twosandbits]

Hello ibizan and Sara

I'm guessing it is ok to post to both of you at the same time, not sure about the etiquette on this site.

Today I have been to group again where we talked about depression and anxiety and how to cope with it prescription drug free if possible and most DEFINATELY alcohol free, but that's stating the obvious, if was very useful to talk about my experiences and listen to others whilst learning coping strategies. I then had another acupuncture session, just need them to start doing massarge therapy now and I will be sorted ha.

Thanks for telling me a little about yourselves, I am too an animal lover however I live in a town house that has been turned into apartements and I have a private landlord who does not allow pets. Saying that I do have one fish who is 6 years old which is amazing as we won it at a fun fair and usually they only live a few days because of the trauma that go through, it's name is fish, original I know ha.

I also have a hamster, my daughters, he is named Buster. Buster and I sometimes have a cuddle on an evening, trouble is he never keeps still haha. In fact he once escaped and we searched for him for days then just resigned ourselves that we had lost him forever. A couple of days later my downstairs neighbour knocked on the door and said have you lost a hamster, amazing!!!    

Any way I'm going to go and have a nice hot bath now and at last I can sleep through the night yipee!!!

Hope we can keep posting and goodnight to you both x

[dominosarah]

All animals including fish are welcome here!!  We even have a "poohbear" but he has been rather quiet lately!!

ibizan..Snickers is doing better today.  I had to up his insulin.  Still have that mass on the pancreas looming...You know the addict thinking, if you just ignore it it will go away!  How is your beautiful new boy getting along with the fainting goat and Keota?

[ibizan]

i love hamsters!used to have teddybear variety...had 2 for 5 years like u've had mr.goldfish!As 4 etiquette we keep it simple here!:)a good full body massage definitely keeps me sorted!i am overdue for one!Snickers is a good senior kitty sarah....we know as they live 2 be his age these problems happen darnit anyway...and i know u'll treasure every day w/him!

[Twosandbits]

Hello Ibizan and Sara

I have had another good day of group, accupcture and hypnotherapy. Today was a women's group and I found it amazing. All the women had or still do experience anxiety and depression (last week I thought it was only me ha) it was so helpful to share experiences and learn new coping skills.

I have also been reading about Minnesota sounds like an amazing state, you certainly have enough lakes and open space for your dogs. In England we have a mini version called the lake district (I'm sure you may have heard of it) it's very beautiful with mountains (well very big hills ha) lush greenery and of course lakes.

I will probably be quite over the weekend as it is my weekend with my daughter and every second is precious to us. So I am wishing you both and all the animals a fantastic weekend.

Best wishes Rachel x

[dominosarah]

Northern Minnesota is beautiful, the southern half not so much!!

Enjoy your weekend with your daughter.  Dont forget to stop and smell the roses~~sara

[ibizan]

Hope u have a fantastic weekend w/ur daughter!I have a huge backyard w/ a 6ft.fence.......greyhound racing takes place several x's a day!i LOVE to watch them have fun!

[Twosandbits]

Hi Ibizan and Sara (and anyone who might read these posts, it only just occurred to me that other people may read these posts ha)

I hope you both had a good weekend, I really enjoyed my weekend with Freya, we went for lovely walks, made cup cakes and cuddled up and watched movies together. Today I went to an open group, talking and sharing experiences, then this evening SMART Recovery group more about learning coping strategies. It's been a good day but I'm feeling slightly grouped out but I am having a day off tomorrow as my partner is coming and Freya after school.

Hope all is well with you ladies and all cats and dogs.

Best wishes Rachel x

[dominosarah]

It sounds like you had a perfect weekend!  Isnt it great to do all of this with a clear mind and body!  I am so proud of you, you are doing so great!  Keep us posted on how you are doing.

Ibizan..Get the coffee on, i am bringing the critters!