When is it too late for rehab?

[Tinker35]

My daughter and I found this site over a year ago, when her dad (my ex) was in the hospital. We learned then that he had severe liver and pancreas damage from many years of drinking. He spent a week in the hospital, 2 months sober, then another year of heavy drinking. He was rushed to the ER last Thursday, and nearly died that night. He was bleeding heavily from his esophogus. He now has 7 bands keeping the veins from bleeding. He is now deep in the DT stage: confused, delirious, very angry and hostile. His BP is dangerously low, the nurses can't leave him alone because he tries to get out of bed and falls, restraints will make him more agitated. The doctor has said that IF he makes it through this, any alcohol at all will cause his blood vessels to swell, the bands will break, and he will bleed to death within 30 minutes. Calling 911 would be futile. The doctor is talking about rehab. At what point is it too late for rehab? From what I understand, he is in final stages of liver disease. Will rehab actually extend his life, or will it cause him to die in a strange place-surrounded by strangers, instead of his family? Our kids are 24 and 20, and they are struggling with the rehab idea. We all tried to get him to go the last time, and he refused. He is much, much sicker now. If he only has a short amount of time left, the kids want to spend time with him.

[dominosarah]

The "thing" that he is married to doesnt like anythiHg, especially herself.  I would go to the hospital.  You have children together and that is bond you 2 will always share.  I am really happy to hear Misty is going into Substance abuse counseling.  The counselors who have personal experience in this area make the best ones.  Congrats on the adoption also!!  Make sure to take some time for you during all of this too.  Dont lose sight of who you are.  Keep us posted on how things are going.  We are always here for you Tinker~~~

[Tinker35]

We might not need to convince him to go to rehab. Things have changed. He tried to get out of bed Wednesday night, and the nurse found him on the floor with a huge knot on his head. Since then, he has spent more time crying than cursing. He is still very confused and scared. His nose keeps bleeding today. He has moments of clarity, among the hours of confusion. He told his Mom this morning that he will be going Home soon, and asked how to meet the Lord. The preacher was called in, and he was saved this morning. He has babbled all day about the Bible. Some of it is coherent, most is not.
The doctor suspects that he has a head injury from the fall Wednesday night. They are waiting for the CT Scan results.
He has been crying for Misty, and she is with him now. Nick is on his way home for the weekend. I'm really glad he is coming home!
I'll update as I know more.
This might sound horrible, but I really hope this is it. He is in a lot of pain from his abdomen. His pain is controlled with the Morphine. My kids are the ones suffering the most.

[bahamamama13165]

Wow, after I read your post from yesterday, I went back and read the thread from last year. It was so emotional and moving.  It was amazing to see your daughter stick by her dad thru that ordeal and then get to experience sobriety from him.  I'm sorry that the disease got the best of him and he went back to drinking. I'll say a pray for him, to bring him peace in whatever comes. Addiction seems to come straight from Satan. I hate it in my life and feel so badly for your family.

[Tinker35]

Misty's Facebook post on Wednesday:

Dad, please look at me
I need to talk to you, please, sober this time
I have tried to stay strong for you,
For Nick, for myself, but I’m falling apart on the inside
While hiding the pain I feel
I don’t trust you anymore
All because you lost your self control
All because you didn’t know when to stop
Because you couldn’t say no
You never thought it was a problem
Forcing us to watch this dreadful suicide
You’ve stolen tears from me again
I’ve told you before how I feel
But you didn’t care enough to stop
Not enough to get help
Now you’re losing me and everyone around you
You’re dying Dad, don’t you get it?
Do you not have a rock bottom? Does it take death?
I’m trying not to give up on you
I have one last thing to say Dad
Hurry, before it’s too late
Hurry, before you’re gone
Before we lose eachother forever...

[Tinker35]

I'm sitting here, waiting for my son to get here. Trying not to worry that he is riding a motorcycle 4 hours to get here. (I'm still getting adjusted to him buying/riding a motorcycle).
I'm feeling guilty for my thoughts and feelings today.
Waiting on Misty to call me after she leaves the hospital. Secretly wishing this ordeal would end. Not for Mark, although it hurts me to see him suffering. But for the kids. Misty is at her breaking point, sick with worry and fear. Nick is trying so hard to be a tough Marine, but I've seen him cry several times over the last week.
There are so many things we don't understand about all this. Too many unknowns. We do know that Mark can't/won't quit drinking. He was so motivated and optimistic last time. It lasted 2 full months...Long enough to show the kids what kind of dad he could be. Long enough to get their hopes up. Now here we are again.
I haven't got another update yet. They should have the MRI results by now. I have no idea what can be done if he has a head injury.
I am glad that he is no longer screaming and cursing. That was really hard on Misty. She was torn between wanting to be with him, and wanting to stay away from him. His crying is hard too, but makes it easier for her to decide to spend time with him.
If it is his time to go, I pray that it happens this weekend so both kids can be by his side. I pray for peace and calmness..for Mark, his parents, and the kids.

[dominosarah]

Oh ITinker, try not to feel guilty about the way you are feeling.  It would be for the best if he would just close his eyes.  You are such a kind and loving mother.  Your kids are so blessed to have you.  There will be moments of anger for your children when this is over and at the same time there will be peace as he wont be suffering.  I dont mean to speak of him in the past tense but i think we all know where this is going.  My heart goes out to all of you~~