3 yr. old confuses entire family

[mfrench08]

my son is 3 years old and is only interested in certain things, (i.e. airplanes, spiderman, elephants etc..). he only eats chicken nuggets, hot dogs, corn dogs, and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches; yet he drinks anything except milk. he says words, points to things that he wants, and if he doesnt get them, he will throw himself down, sometimes hurting himself, and start hitting anyone who tries to calm him down. my parents have 6 grandchildren and they came in twos.. two 4 year olds, two 3 year olds, and two 1 yr. olds. me and my sisters have always kept our children close, but none of the other kids want to play with alex, because he doesnt understand how to play their games. they always shoo him away and he doesnt show that it hurts his feelings, but he goes off quietly to his own corner of the yard, and fills puddles of water with dirt and rocks. and then when we come inside, he runs to catch up with them, as if nothing was wrong.

my son calls me "gramma". he calls my boyfriend of two years, my mom, my dad, and my sisters and brother-in-law "mom" or "dad", (it varies day to day which name he uses). i work mornings, and spend every evening with him, so theres no reason for him to prefer them. and ive corrected him, but he says no, and runs away like im being mean. everyone sees that something is definetly not right with him, but my doctor wont acknowledge it. he says its just normal things a toddler does.

[Sally44]

If he has a restrictive diet and other sensory problems I would advise you google the name Olga Bodgashina and read an article by her printed in Autism Today.  She has a number of books published, one of which is called Sensory and Perceptual Differences in Autism and Aspergers.  The sense of smell and taste are just some of the senses that can be affected in autism and aspergers.  If the article seems relevant to you then I would recommend buying her book.

[Sally44]

Hi,
You've mentioned a couple of things you're concerned about.
Firstly it is a good sign that he is saying words and pointing to things.
You think he has restricted interests and diet.
You think he has social interaction problems and you think he has problems with pronounds.
He is three years old and just at that point when he should be becoming more verbal and social.
There could be some delay, and there could be some substance to the advice your doctor has given.  But at the same time you've already mentioned a couple of things that could be within the diagnostic criteria for an autistic spectrum disorder.
I would recommend you google DSM IV for autism and for aspergers and see if any of that fits your son.
He will soon be starting pre-school and it is very important that any supports or structures are in place for him there so that he isn't struggling.  
If you have your concerns, it would be worth going to your GP and asking for a referal to Speech and Language Therapy.  They are usually the first point of call.  Ask to be referred to a communication clinic or similar that deals with autistic spectrum disorders.  A good SALT should be able to tell you whether you are looking at a possible diagnosis of autism or aspergers simply from how their language difficulties present.
After SALT, you will need an assesment by an Educational Psychologist and maybe a Clinical Paediatrician.
I think you need to get the ball rolling because you are noticing social differences in your son and the fact that other children don't accept him and he doesn't fit in.  
It maybe that he will develope and come through by the time he is due to start school.  But because of the time it takes for referrals etc, it is better to start to ask for assessments now so that any support he needs is ready and available for when he starts school.

[888mom]

Sorry that you are having difficult issues.  3 is not an easy age for any kid, and then you add differences in and then life gets tough for both them and their parents.  If he's being violent at 3, then if you don't figure out how to handle the situation now, he will be worse when he is 5 or 6 or older... and he'll be bigger.  That's what my daughter's developmental pediatrician told us about some of her behavioral issues.  He told us ways to cope in our particular circumstance.  She is only 2, and we managed to nip some of the issues before they got worse.  Others we are still working on.  

if your insurance will cover it, go take him to see a developmental pediatrician.  Even if it is a behavioral issue, they will be able to help you work things out and give you some advice.  If there's a reason behind the behavior, they would probably be able to figure that out as well, and if he needs to have early intervention or something like that (therapy or a developmental preschool, which if you live in the US is free to get into the public school system for therapy or preschool if you qualify).  Or you could just contact the school system and see if they would evaluate him, but frankly, I'd rather have a doctor I picked than some psychiatrist they pick.  

I imagine a child psychologist might also be able to help, but if you have concerns about how he is socially interacting, or his inability to do so at proper age level, then you should take him to someone who can address those issues, especially if you are concerned about autism/aspergers or ADHD or any of those things.