I have been looking back on the feeds to try and find a solution to my sons behaviour in the middle of the night - he has got autism.
I have read a few books regarding tantrums with this condition and it says you have to try and see yourself in your childs shoes. They are living in a completely different world to us and while we want them to adapt to our world why cant we adapt to their world. Obviously there are boundaries to this but you could maybe try adjusting to what she is wanting, Is there a reason for her tantrums? Does she throw them out of the blue or on certain occasions? How bad does she get with them?
Lesley
Yes ^^^^
To add to that, start documenting.
When she throws a tantrum, write down what was going on right before, and what is going on after. There is a reason, you just have to play detective to find it... also include time of day and any other info about what is going on (who's around, what they're playing with, any sort of sensory stuff - music loud, quiet, etc).
For instance... my son was throwing huge tantrums every night in the bathtub. I started keeping data... turns out, he knew if he threw a fit, his sister would get out of the bath so he could be alone. That was his 'desirable result' and what he knew would be accomplished if he threw a fit.
If you know why, you can't alter it (such as, I want a cookie for dinner) and there's still a tantrum, send her to her room or another area where she's alone. This applies if she's doing it for attention, too. It cuts that part out, and shuts off tantrums just for attention very quickly.
Most of the time, tantrums are to attain something or to avoid something... so the alternative is maybe if she's throwing a fit 30 minutes before homework time, you'd see with your data the time of day and realize that by throwing a fit she's delaying having to do work.