what can we do???

[suzitopps]

My grandson is 5yrs old, is under specialist for suspected autism and adhd, they will not commit them selves. My grandson can be very loving and caring but can also be a very aggresive both in speech and actions he swears when in these moods and cant seem to see any wrong in what he,s doing then he will change in the click of your finger as if nothing has happened?? he is as strong as an ox and highly intellegent almost to the point that in he,s own mind he,s not 5 but 10 !!  he is at his best behaved when in company of older children he can relate to everything they are doing and joins in with them.  Yet when he's with his own age group this is when he starts to act up as if frustrated with them.  My daughter is at her witts end as nothing she doe's makes any difference to him. What can we do to make life easier ????

[suzitopps]

Thank you for your comment, i to think it is right to hold back with diagnosis but we have issues with how he reacts to to certain things in his life, ie if he is staying with us for what ever reason  then realises that there are people in our house when he comes he seems to go within himself even though he knows them and he decides he doesnt want to stay, plus his day has to be structured if it varies its as if he cant cope and its all wrong to him and we cant seem to explain to him why as he doesnt understand.

I may seem like im talking like im a bit mixed up as well but its very hard to put in words how he is.  

[allmymarbles]

The doctor is quite right to withhold diagnosis. Your grandson is in an early development stage. The autism thing surprises me. He seems to interact easily with people. That would be most odd for autistic child.

[suzitopps]

Thanks for your interest in my grandson, as yet the specialist have told her and school to keep a chart about his behavior, that is all that she has been told to do,no mention of what comes next.  I think your right about a an additional assessment also.  

He was around 3yrs old when he was first seen but they classed him as being to young to put a label on him, hes has since been back in the last 3mnths.

The teachers say he has a Jeckle and Hyde personality.  i will suggest to my daughter the helpful hints you have wrote about if it helps them it would be a step in right direction.      Yours Suzitopps  

[Dazon50]

What has the specialist suggest?  If his intelligence is above others his age, there would be frustration in communicating and relating.  What kinds of things does he like to do to be occupied at home?  How long have they been monitoring him?

If he acts better when in the company of older children, I would focus on keeping him stimulated with activities that he finds rewarding and continue to teach him about ways to behave and consequences when disobedience occurs. He should not be allowed to hurt others whether he understands at present or not.  In other words keeping an eye on him and taking him to a private place where he is not given attention for misbehaving.

It is important to balance that with also affirming/acknowledging when he is following the rules and acting properly.

If he is strong, doing physical activities that would tire him out and that he finds challenging is something to focus on also.

Has the specialist given more information on where she/he is going in regards to "suspected autism" and "adhd"???  I would consider getting additional assessments/evaluations also.

Is he in school?  If so, what are the teacher(s) suggesting or saying in regards to his behavior.