My four year olds diagnosis is confusing...

[marci5]

My son has recently been diagnosed with PDD-NOS.  When i explain his diagnosis to others i simply say he has alot of autistic traits but not enough to classify him as autistic and has others unusual behavious. I always knew he was not typical but it was oly when he started three year old kinder group that we had this examined as he only played with water a kinder and was extremley repetetive. Upon seeing the Paed he noted My son stimming on the floor with the wheels and putting his head down on the ground to stare at them. He also noted that he lined up the cars and his play was dominated by the trains which he handed over at the end of the appointement with great difficulty although he did not have a tantrum. My son had at that point never played with a doll as in fed it and played predominantly with cars and trains. He was quite obsessive with particular movies and found it hard to move out of his comfort zone . Although his older brother forced him at times which was like a pressure cooker situation and resulted in enourmous fights.  The fighting or more lack of understanding between my at the time four year old Typically functioning child and my 2 year old PDD_NOS was a nightmare although they were interested in the same things they were just worlds apart and had never really even engaged in a conversation that involved anymore words than "no"! and thump until the last six months. At he time along with other pressures i though my marrige was on the rocks and now i can see it was just a really difficult two years and we got through it thank god! Things have changed quite dramatically now. The older one is six, maturing to understand his brother more which helps amazingly. They both can communicate far more effeclivly now although sharing and thumping is still a major issue coupled with the over reactions due to sensitivities of my four year old. He can lash out at the two year old but now he is aknowleging her precence and over the last two weeks i have seen him interacting with her beautifully it has made my heart flutter! My daughter is a gift from god she has helped our family come together and given the boys a dose of femininity that will be with them for life! For us having a girl after two boys has been our saviour she is just adorable...Her non-verbal language is amazing and its like she just understands.
After having a series of reports collated the paed thought the most appropriate term for him was pdd-nos. The speech therapist and the cognitive assesment all noticed echolalia and grammer difficulties. He also has mild problems with expressive and receptive language. Difficulities providing context in conversations ( which i once worried were servere seem to be taking shape alittle better) and overall clarity. As a mother i often put it down to his overall personality taking longer to form and his development being alot slower but i would discuss this with my husband and we both agreed that he would get there in his own time there is no rush as he is only three. He is four now and since the diagnosis he seems to have naturally made some leaps and bounds expecially with his conversations at times. Upon meeting him you would not pick he is on the spectrum depending on his mood. In social situations he gets unusually frustrated at things that he feels he cannot control for example if the end of a paper is bent and he cannot flatten it. He cant manipulate a pencil and seems to have little desire to do so. He tries to run his own agenda and things need to be on his term which can be frustrating for everyone to say the least. He has some fantastic eye contact and can be enourmously affectionate. He is devestated to see me angry and latley seems eager to please me ( which is beautiful)This differs alot to the way he was even six months ago very defiant and very self absorbed. He has a particually pronounced cry and his facial expressions appear exaggerated...a very endering quality. Infact all of his emotions are very heightend he is very sensitive. I beleive he can be taught empathy and to understand others perspectives.  We have not done any therapies with him yet but will do in the new year. I guess my overall frustrations lay in the unknown and i a sure as time passes and therapies have layed new foundations there will be even more progress. I try to sound positive but sometimes along the way it is hard and i feel worn down like i have no patience and nothing left to give expecially to my husband after 8pm (sorry to much info). Sometimes i feel my boy brings the very best and the very worst out of me and i proberly do the same for him. He is so beautiful and so different and every square inch of me loves him to peices. i am have all these wishes for him and i pray they come true because i know how life just will be harder for him at almost every corner.  I wish I knew what lay ahead for him with friends and school so i could prepare him? I guess if we all had a crystal ball life is not LIFE it is ment to be unpredictable and sometimes unexplainable. Parenting a child with special needs is so different to parenting typically functioning kids and for anyone else who may read this and relate. Within us is the  strengh that helps keep families together that helps children grow into better adults which makes society function and life more valuable. It may not be writtern up in lights or spread across newpapers because it does not need to be . It is apart of many unsung stories in life that helps thread the fabric of society with and extra sparkle.  

[specialmom]

Hi, Yes my son is 5 and will be 6 soon.  I am going to say from what you describe that you should see an occupational therapist for your daughter for diagnosis and treatment.  Things like impulse control and making unsafe choices are things my son has issue with as well.  Through occupational therapy, that has gotten much better.  "We need to be safe" or "make safe choices" are a simple 'that is not safe" are what we say and my son responds the first time usually.  

My son has only sensory at this  point and as I said-----  that is diagnosed by an occupational therapist trained in sensory integration.  It has made a WORLD of difference.  Good luck!

[shaz71]

Hi to both of you, marci 5 it is good that you can recognise that your son has certain difficulties and stay positive as it all helps, he is still young and you will see him still come on a lot more. Good for you i know how tiring it is to have children with special needs and how demanding and challenging they can be at times then others loving and rewarding. Keep going you are doing a great job.  Sharon x

Hi specialmom again i have replied to you on another thread and asked how old your son was i now can see he is 5yr old. Funny you mention about writing etc as that is what my daughter as difficulty in and fine motor skills she has no diagnosis but i do know she needs to be looked at so to help with her struggles she is behind also in receptive and expressive speech by 2yrs and is very immature she is happier to play with 3-4 yr olds. They are now picking up on difficulties in school as before when i tried to say that she was behind they weren't bothered but now they are. She didn't sit her sats as she couldn't read the questions. Even now her writing is sometimes not recognisable. She is very scrawley and also her colouring looks like that of a five year old so basically delayed in everything by 2yrs which is delayed, she was fine with gross motor skills until the bike riding then she couldn't grasp the pedalling i just pushed her everywhere and the steering that was at age 4, she can now ride a bike lovely, she also was behind in spacial awareness and still can get it wrong at times, she could just run into people and not even know she had done it leaving me to deal with the aftermath, she is better although she can still do it at times especially when chasing after others playing games she would just knock a little girl/boy over and carry on. Before it was 6ft blokes olderwomen, swings, just run into them, now she thinks to go around them but now runs into the road into oncoming cars instead???????? It is scarey but because she is so impulsive and doesn't think before she does things she can be quite dangerous at times. I need her to be looked at by an educational psychologist that is my next port of call. What diagnosis as your son is it sensory integration disorder or does he have other diangosis? Nice to see he is finding coping stratergies to help him. Sharon x

[specialmom]

Hello,  I wanted to tell you one thing you could do to make things easier for your son.  He will be public school age soon enough.  That is when things can get more difficult because with an older child, you know that expections start to be set up.  My son has sensory integration disorder and things like writing, holding a pencil, and other fine motor activities are a little hard for him.  We see an occupational therapist once a week and one of the things we have worked on since 4 years old is writing.  I can't tell you how much it has helped.  He would cry when asked to write in the begining.  He didn't like to color or do anything related to holding something like a writing instrument in his hand.  He now colors and writes and draws as other kids do.  Fine motor skills are always a challenge for him but he is so much more confident now and willing to try and do his best.  He is not far off the mark at all with writing now.  (he is 5 and in kindergarten).  We also work on flexibility with his occupational therapist.  This is ongoing as controling their enviroment is part of the disorder ----  at least in my son's case, it is a coping mechanism.  Anyway, it has been fantastic working with our ot and it has been so helpful for those things that you will encounter in the next couple of years in the "real world".  Good luck and I'm glad your son is doing so well!