i mean case is escalating

[adel_ezz]

i had to post again to see an answer because no response to old post.

What i think is that my case is escalating to the worse. I stayed 6 years on 2 pills (1 typical AP, 1 atypical AP) + AD. in 2006 i stopped the AP's. after 6 months i got my 1st mania. life changed since then. Of course prior to that i was an OCD person. Either pdoc knew i was bipolar or ignorant. don't know. Perhaps he knew it as he must have known that my situation will get worse THUS he can blackmail me by my multiple visits over the years. No one knows and no ethics here sure. He is still my pdoc for the reason i saw tens of them even more ignorant.

After my 1st mania and the discovery of seroquel i returned to my AP's with an additional seroquel 25 or 50. mania gone. continue this way. OK till now bearable. But due to mt depression on and off i had to take the AD's. So 3 times i had new manias then augment the seroquel until my last one i reached 300 until it's gone and could lower it to 150. I tried several times to reduce this dose but in vain.

So i am on my 2 original AP's +150 seroquel. FEARING to take an AD, but am seriously depressed.

my mother insists that i take an AD, my father not, pdoc is reluctant once and once not and we are in a serious Dilemma. today we shall meet with him. Though i don't believe he can resolve anything. in due course he gave me a sodium blocker which is unsafe and yesterday i raged (don't know exactly the meaning) but fire in my head and hit the head against the wall. seroquel extinguishes this.

now, i see myself moving towards insanity, because either i don't take any AD and no reason to live, or take an AD and run the risk of another mania then more seroquel to come until i take what i read 900. besides seroquel isn't cheap in my country one of the most expensive drugs no disability help, so will perish most probably and will have no job either to pay for it, i mean in the future.

the ONLY solution i can think of so far is either
   1. change med
   2. take no AD but reduce seroquel like in balloons when throwing bags of sand to move upward

choice 2 is better since i will also reduce my seroquel. The only drawback is whether i will get manic and symptoms return, especially that i don't know if my rage (whatever that is) is considered signs of mania or pure anxiety. strange my 1st mania came after a long application of an AD. my 2nd and 3rd too. but trying to reduce the 150 and failed is because i saw some signs of elation. i.e. i may get manic without an AD at all. Could this happen ? But this time i am seriously depressed. If i reduce my seroquel can i really become manic.?

i phoned astra zeneca a woman there a doctor responsible of seroquel told me at least 300 to have an effect. WRONG because i stayed 2 years on 50 and worked perfect also told me no heart problems, WRONG i had tachycardia on 300. Either she doesn't know (brochure says 400-600) also WRONG monkeyc took 900. etc..etc..

how do you think my future will be with the drugs .
i failed with the AC's and lithium. I am an AP addict only. i see myself very similar to starbunny, except that i am in grade 1 and she passed 2. can one anticipate how grade 3 will be for us, but she is older than me too so by the time i am over thirty i can become totally crazy. is there any breakthrough to this BP. is there any hope.?

thank you for responding to my other post    
  

[adel_ezz]

news
i reduced my seroquel and feel better. will see if i go manic. will report back.
starbunny: pls inform me abt your appt
thx
ezz

[starbunny]

Hi adel - I was due my appointment with the pdoc today and had questions that would of covered a lot of what you brought up in the post, unfortunately it was cancelled at the last minute...Grrr! however I will keep you posted as soon as the appt is rescheduled, take care :)

[paranoid_cataclysm]

Some of us just end up having to go higher and higher in dosage to continue the therapeutic benefits of it until we need to change medicines.  I know someone who has to change medicines off and on because she builds up a tolerance over time.  It's possible you could go manic after reducing your antipsychotics but there's only one way to find out really.

[adel_ezz]

i mean people don't respond usually to older posts, yes i read the kind and helpful replies to my "seroquel thoughts"

pls give me opinion of what you think i should do
thanks