Anger, Anxiety and Frustration

[Crystal413]

I feel like I'm always trying to figure myself out. Is an episode coming or not. Day by day goes by this week as that I feel anger, frustration and anxiety and I wonder if a episode is coming. I have had a few thoughts about dying, wishing something would be wrong with me so I wouldn't have to be here. I have had a lot of stress this week and crying a few times out of frustration (which only happens in instances like this week) My sx are similar but not exact each time. I have rapid cycling, mixed states (Dysphoric Mania) and hypomania. Depression always there. I am never happy or "up". I still can't grasp what I am experiencing because it's not clear cut. I seem like I'm in a mixed state but I'm not sure. Maybe these things I feel are just going to go away and it was just a bad week. My anger, frustration is so strong. I'm a little worried. It seems as if I have no self control. The only way I can control it is by not being around anyone which is hard to do. By myself I feel anxious and uneasy. My anxiety is my normal up and down, depending on what's happening. Can you give me any insight? Has anyone felt this way before? I'm so tired of being unstable. I am on Lithium, Risperdal and a little Klonipin. I have tried a million meds and med combo. Your opinions would be very helpful. Thank you

[ILADVOCATE]

  5TTP can increase manic episodes in a person with bipolar and
cause mania given that it works it is clinically similar to an anti-depressant.

[ILADVOCATE]

  Yes bipolar 1 and bipolar 2 are different as regards frequency of
episodes as well as other aspects. You can discuss
the specifics with your psychiatrist.

[Robbi50n63]

Thank you, topic was discussed and she said I might want to ask dr assuming she must not know much about 5htp. I'll call pharmacist and discuss. Do you mean 5htp could bring on more depression? I get the two phrases mixed up terribly. Manic(high) Mania(low)?

[Crystal413]

When you say there are several types of Bipolar? For example, do you mean some have more frequent or less episodes?

First 2 pdoc's said I was Bipolar 2. The next two said I was Bipolar 1. So I'll say I am 1 since I trust the validity of the last two. I have no pscychotic features. I go to therapy, just started again last month. I decided to try a DBT Therapist this time. I have seen my same pdoc for 6 yrs., usually once a month and many times 2-3 weeks apart. Depends on my instability. I take my notebook with me with questions and info about me at each visit. I write in a journal or I wouldn't be able to keep track of anything.

It's just that I've tried so many meds it's hard for me to understand this frequent instability. I don't know if I'm alone or if others go thru this frequency too. Do you know?

It's hard on everyone, me and my family to ride these episodes thru. Sometimes damaging, emotionally. I wonder what people do in this case. Too bad there's not a pill for the episode so it will stop. Waiting is agony.

[ILADVOCATE]

  This has some information on bipolar 1 that you could
discuss with your psychiatrist:
http://www.webmd.com/bipolar-disorder/guide/bipolar-1-disorder.
5HTP has some anti-depressant properties.
However it has the potential to cause mania in
people with bipolar..
Also it can interact with known medications.
It would be essential to ask your psychiatrist
about potential side effects and interactions.
They have a physician's online database
they can  access that has full information.
If they are not available you could ask your pharmacist.

[Robbi50n63]

To add to my note, I began using 5HTP along with the depakote and call it crazy or coincidence but that is when I began coming out of the depression since May. What do you think of 5htp and is it incompatible with depakote, Ive tried looking it up online as to its do 's and  don'ts but dont find much.

[Robbi50n63]

Good informative answers. I feel that I get good sound information from your answers. I have a question too. My counseling is from a lady who is a LCSW, I know nothing about her background and training though our sessions have gone well which I am doing only every 2 weeks and have only been 2x. I keep asking her of my diagnosis(which I have been previously diagnosed in as little as an hour by a LCSW, is this considered to solidly know if you do have BP? Back to my question. Back in May I had an extremely upsetting matter that actually is what triggered the symptoms such as extreme anger, irritability, driving carelessly, racing thoughts, etc. then as I was at church I wanted prayer so bad and I went up to those praying for others and after that for a week I felt wonderful , happy, everyday then suddenly I spiraled into a deep depression that I know only the strength that God gives me helped me to go to work 5 days a week and it lasted until this past week and I am feeling relaxed, no symptoms of irritability or nothing near the depressed state I mentioned above. For the past week I call it better because of not feeling the way previously but I am not manic just what I call no emotion. Does this occur in bipolar 1?

[ILADVOCATE]

   There are several types of bipolar. The time frame between mood episodes can be part of how they determine what is happening.
You could ask your psychiatrist about what your specific diagnosis is.
In an agitated mixed state which I  experience a person feels angry at the world and many things can set them off. I .had that happen more
so in the past before I found a medication I responded to well.
Keeping track of when any episodes occur, what happens and how they last can be helpful for your psychiatrist. The mood tracker can be helpful for that and then you can print out the results for your psychiatrist.

[Crystal413]

"During mood swings any other concerns a person has can be set off as well" . I'm so glad you said that because this really happens to me. Also any type of issue makes me feel more escalated. It's awful. I don't even now it's happening or recognize I'm doing it until it's over. I hate feeling angry and aggitated.

As for the meds, I just assumed the meds I was taking would cover all of the diff types of episodes. None of them have been full proof. I always have episodes. But, without meds at all I might be living in the looney bin. Actually I invisione myself really living in one, one day. Needless to say my success rate with meds has been terrible so I don't know what my future holds.

I will call my pdoc on Monday. I feel a little at a loss because I can't go up on the dosages so I can't anticipate my pdoc's plan. But something is happening.

Do you think it's common with Bipolar to just go 2-3 weeks without an episode and then start the process all over again? Is this unheard of? Is my situation strange? I I don't get much of a break at all.

Thanks for responding.

[ILADVOCATE]

  I have all the concerns you described as regards mood swings. Some my psychiatrist made me aware of over time. During mood swings any other concerns a person has can be set off as well. I know my level of anxiety and obsessive thoughts increased during these episodes and because I have schizoaffective disorder psychosis as well. Also
its important to see what emotion triggers set this off
and discuss coping skills.
  With myself this was sometimes helped by titration and dosage
of my medications so any time I had concerns I brought this
issue up with my psychiatrist. I followed their specific directions
at all times. Also some medications are more effective on
mixed states and rapid cycling than others. I know
I found Lamictal to be more helpful in this regard
but each person responds differently to each medication. You could
ask your psychiatrist about available  options as regards treatment.