Bipolar?

[xxstephiiexx]

Hey,
I saw my CPN recently and bipolar was mentioned as a diagnosis. At the moment I have been dx'd as Borderline Personality Disorder, but I complained because I felt I was diagnosed too young and that alot of the things they were using as explainations of it were just me being a 'struggling teenager' About 7/8 months ago my mum became very ill, to the point of almost dying, life support machines the lot, and everyone remarked on how well I was coping. [For someone who regularly self-harms and has attempted suicide multiple times] I was effeicent, organising my sisters whilst dad was with mum, keeping in contact with the schools/hospitals/whoever else.. I'll mention that I wont talk to people on the phone normally. I had disagreements with the family because I was being 'cold-hearted' because I did not cry even when we were told mum had 4 more hours to improve otherwise they were stopping the life-support. I couldn't sleep and I felt full of energy, I was having as between 0 and 3 hours sleep at night, I wasn't eating much and didn't notice it at all, I felt odd, I knew I wasn't happy yet I was full of energy and things, plus things were complicated because I didn't seem to be able to take in the seriousness of mum's illness.. I was mega social, talked to people I 'hate' and argued with my dad about 'not making sense with whatever I was talking about and that how could I even be thinking about things like that when mum was so ill' That lasted between 6-8 weeks and then I crashed. I had an ambulance called because my support workers thought I was dead. I was near catatonic apparently [if thats how you spell it] I was sleeping almost 22 hours a day. I was like that for a couple of weeks then I came out of it a bit although still 'low' I was sleeping between 16-18 hours a day, not eating, barely talking, wanting to see no-one, in fact wanting nothing to do with anyone really.. Including the catatonic bit lasted about 8 weeks.. I went up again, within a week, I went from sleeping about 16 hours to sleep at the most 4 hours a day, I was spending money recklessly, and still don't know what half of it was on but within 2 months I managed to spend nearly £2000.. I was unbelievably social and very sexual.. I was arranging to meet strangers and having sex with them, I contacted people I used to hang out with and had sex with them.. I'll just say due to past stuff I dont even like sex. But I felt in my element. It was amazing. I was amazing. I had these ideas and theories and according to my support workers I wasnt talking logically and I was talking too fast. I had bounds of energy despite still not sleeping or eating. I was going to tell the prime minister how to do his job, I knew how to sort out the economy, [I don't really recall how I was going to do that] I felt like I was this brilliant, intelligent person and how could anyone not see what I could see, everything felt great and I was going to do great things. I crashed again, and sleep between 16-18 hours a day now after 3 full days in bed. I want to hurt myself all the time and my mind plays 'clips' of different senarios of me killing myself in one way or another. I feel low, I have no energy and still no appetite. I'm upsetting my friends because I don't want to see them, I don't wanna do anything but sleep really. I'm not really sure what to do. Its something they've mentioned, but I have trust issues and I'm not sure how honest I'm able to be with my psych. Spesh as he's a man and it involves sexual stuff which shouldn't embarrass me, but does. Does this sound like bipolar? Any help, advice.. anything really, I just don't know what to do.

[paranoid_cataclysm]

It's understandable, things like bipolar disorder can leave a person with questions of what is going on with them.

[xxstephiiexx]

Hey.
Thanks for replying. Yeah, for my first one, that's what I felt it was, but then it continued which bothered me a little more. I realise your not professionals and fully intend to talk to my psych about this but just wanted some advice I suppose, until I'm able to get an appointment.

[paranoid_cataclysm]

At first I thought it sounded like denial to a high degree and then depression but since you kept cycling between the two I would say it might could be bipolar disorder.  Bring it up with your psychiatrist since none of us are trained professionals in the field and are just going off of what we know either from personal experience of ourselves or loved ones or things we've read or both or maybe even something else for that matter.  Things people do when manic can be embarrassing to them after the episode is over so this isn't far-fetched to be embarrassed by specific things you've done but bear in mind things just happen that are out of our control and there's not much you really could of done about it except seek out help for it.