Could I have Bipolar???

[Christymarie0704]

Hi everyone. I am new to the bipolar section, however I do post on the Addiction part of this site. I have an addiction to pain meds and I am currently trying to "kick" the habit. I have over the years wondered if I could possibly have bipolar. I will tell you all a bit about myself and then maybe you can give me some feed back on what you think. I have severe depression due to an abusive 12yr marriage that ended w/ my husband breaking my neck and having steel plates put in my neck in order to not end up paralyzed. I also have an "addictive" personality. I have in the last 15years, had problems w/ drinking(which I got over) smoking (quit in Jan 08) and the pain pills.I have such extreme anxiety over being alone. I love my boyfriend of 3yrs more than anything(besides my kids) and I would do anything for him, and he knows it. I love him more than I ever loved my husband even after being w him all those yrs. He is very good to me, and very confused. I do things I know I shouldn't and I hide things from him. Personal thingslike what has happened to me or things I have been through he can't understand why I keep things from him. But when I get botherd by something I do strange things. I won't sleep for days, or sleep for days. I will scrub things untill my hands bleed. I will hold onto a minor thing that happened and be really upset for days. I don't think I am normal and I know I have issues. Some are minor but others not so and are almost destroying my life. Thank you for reading this.

[triedeverymed]

Oh I forgot btsmith is right about the drug problems we usually have before diagnosis. I was on pain pills for years too until I found out what was wrong, then I got treatment. Mow my BP meds keep me on an even keel and I'm much happier.

[triedeverymed]

It could be bipolar but it also aound like a bit of OCD with anxiety. The only way to know for sure it to see a psychiatrist because some of these diseases can co-occur or have symptoms that overlap. You want the right diagnosis so you can be put on the right meds and start feeling better. After all you've been through you could also have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It's too hard for a lay person to tell. But if I had to bet, I would say there is more than one thing going on. The good news is that it can all be treated!!
Best of Luck,
Erin

[btsmith]

Howdy,
     This is how I usually describe being bipolar to people that aren't.
     The brain in a bipolar person is like a nuclear reactor, one thought triggers another thought simiilar to a chain reaction.  If this brain/reactor isn't controled it will have a meltdown.  That is where the medications come in or reactor rods for the power plant.  The more the rods are shoved in, the quieter the reactor becomes which is similar to say lithium, the more you take the more subdued the person will become.  In both instances nothing is done too fast as it takes awhile to see the results.  Once a desired level is obtained they both need to be monitored to keep that level stable as they will try to creep out or completely shut down, both are undesireable results. The power plant is an atomic reaction and the brain is a chemical reaction.
   This maybe an oversimplification but I don't think a non bipolar brain can understand a bipolar brain.
    Also most undiagnosed BD people have a real problem with alcohol or drugs.  It is the only thing they can get to bring them down and maybe let them sleep.  Trust me I know.
btsmith

[Barribjorn]

Well, sounds like it might be. I would talk to a doc about it though. Another thing is you could benifit greatly from a counselor. I am on a waiting list for one. I used to feel more sane when I was high, then came forced sobriety and I thought I was loosing my mind. I realize in hind site I was medicating a severe case of bipolar disorder they call it dual diagnosis in rehab.

Hope that helps a little...