Difficulty Confusing Motives or Reasoning For Behavior?

[ILADVOCATE]

I have noticed (especially before my current recovery from psychotic symptoms which still leaves me with some standard mood swings and mood issues in general) that I would not know why I did things. Not so much speaking of actions or behavior that was abnormal but everyday social interactions and dealing with family and friends. There were times when I made every effort to help a person but in some ways it was intruding in their lives and they had not requested the help so I should have backed off. I have also noticed some people I know with bipolar who have not started treatment yet who may make an attempt to help but it actuality is a means to take emotional control and they couldn't stop where the help was needed and just leave it at that point. As well sometimes I experienced some form of justification where I tried to convince myself that I was doing things for the right reasons but there was an element of control. I know people without bipolar experience this as well and its a talk therapy issue but I believe this is part of bipolar as well. Have been people misinterpreted their motives as to why they did things and not only thought about it until afterwards and does this vary with mood swings and self awareness?

[ILADVOCATE]

Yes I've experienced that before too. I know that what was an extreme problem in that past for me that was different because I realize now it has strong aspects of psychosis was that I used to say to my psychiatrist that I could not be stable until the world was in order first. I know that thinking was completely psychotic and of course then I didn't even do anything to help society but now that I do I have to make sure that kind of thinking doesn't emerge even in a minor way. Like anyone I have to focus on my own recovery first, most of it physical, some still remaining mental. Things are complex with my specific recovery but there are some simple aspects as well too.

[Xila31]

Well, I don't do that in particular. If I'm helping someone it is because I want to help them. But, in generally I am very socially annoying to people at times. When things are happening like pressured speach for example, I know that gets on people's nerves. Or when my thoughts are racing my conversations jump from topic to topic with no apparent connection and people are just like, "What are you talking about?" Also, the racing thoughts make me think in circles and I can't explain things well. This one is extremely frustrating to my husband because I'll try to explain the budget, for example, and what I'm telling him makes absolutely no sense because I can't think in a straight line. But at the time, I don't realize that it is happening and what I'm saying makes sense to me.

[ILADVOCATE]

  Yes before I started treatment I had reached that point myself (that was one of the reasons I initiated the idea of going to a psychiatrist myself, I didn't know what was going on but I knew I needed help). I was more thinking of emotional issues such as maintaining emotional boundaries. The difficulty I had in the past is I would help people and sometimes the underlying motive was self gain or to put the other person down. I am aware of that motive now and it rarely arises but if I notice it I keep it in check and discuss it with my psychiatrist.
  One reason I have this problem is a parental figure with bipolar who still is in a position regarding administering documents regarding my needs (now I don't have to have things set up as regards loss of judgment mentally of course but physically my disability is severe and there are many needed accomodations). They will often "help" but at the same time take emotional control and they are either not aware of it or can't help it. I spoke with them today and encouraged them to go back to their psychiatrist and they agreed so things will be easier for both of us. Thanks. The loss of reality testing in psychosis is far more dangerous but the loss of reality testing during mood swings is harder to notice but it can creep up on you. Thankfully now I have a better handle on it.

[paranoid_cataclysm]

I don't know if I understood your question correctly but I did have something happen before which you mentioned.  Close to before I started medication I complained to my friend that I had no idea why I was doing anything even if I was told why I was doing it.  I had lost so much insight into myself that I had reached this state.  For example I was just doing what I was told to do at work but had no grasp of the concept of why I was doing it.