Help dealing with a family member

[mommy121729]

I am pretty sure my sister in law is bi-polar. She is like my best friend but some parts of me wants to run away from her. First of all when I see her calling I brace myself when I pick up to see if she is in a good mood or not. When she is in a good mood we could have great laughs, great conversations, she will buy me lunch, offer me rides, everything. When she is in a bad mood.. NOTHING is clear from her wrath. She will say the meanest things I have ever heard some one say, she will flip out on her boyfriend, throw his phone, say things that will purposely make some one feel so stupid, and then most likely apologize later. She has gotten into physical altercations because of her temper. She is depressed sometimes. She tells me that when she gets angry her heart beats so fast and sometimes she gets dizzy. I dont know what to do here are my main concerns:

1. Is she in fact bi-polar?
2. How do I stay close with her and explain to her my concerns without her flipping out on me? I have tried and she gets super mad then we never address it again like nothing ever happened. (One time she flipped out on me for taking the bus home when we were at school together cuz I had somewhere to go! )

[daisychic]

Sorry to hear about your situation. It is always hard to have someone you care about in such obvious turmoil. I have several family members with bipolar and other mood disorders. Some seeking treatment and some just wont. If it is a mood disorder the proper meds and counseling can make a big difference. There are other medical reasons for such behavior as well. She really needs a doctor or psychiatrist to evaluate the things going on with her. I struggle with my parent getting help as well. Ive been trying to get her to admit there is a problem and seek help. What I have tried to do lately is to focus on reminding her how much better she will feel and how much better her interactions with others will be with the right treatment. Maybe someone else close to her could suggest an appointment to get evaluated. My son is bipolar also. When he is having an issue(thats what we call it) there is no talking to him about anything. It only makes him madder. After the episode he will too apologize and its usually then he is most receptive to discussing whats happened and what to do about it. I would suggest picking your moments carefully. Try to find out when is she the most able to listen and grasp what you are suggesting. Be strong and good luck to you. I know you want to help her, but remember take care of you also.

[ILADVOCATE]

  Some aspects of what you describe sound like bipolar but only a psychiatrist could provide a conclusive diagnosis. Sudden changes in mood can of course be part of bipolar as well as the potential of extreme anger. If you are concerned about approaching her about it there are support groups such as NAMI friend and family support groups that could perhaps give you some ideas. The best thing to do is to encourage her in a supportive manner that it will help with her recovery.